August 24, 2005

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Master Archive (All stories from the begining guY!)

Pull My Finger!! Posted 8/28/2003 by
I know it's lame and childish, but I couln't resist: PULL MY FINGER Comment on this post in our forums.

PORKRINDS ARE TASTY!!
Posted 8/16/2003 by

Yes, Allen really DOES look like this!! And talks like him too!

AAAGGHHH!!!! I have lost the will to update!!! Every time I begin the process I am assulted by numerous unfunny things that cause me to lose my train of th....

Well, my update today appears to be of the SUCK variety. It pales in comparsison to Dreamus's story of urban survival and Tom's recent brush with a comb. But it does involve computers and computer related activities so it might just stand up to the mighty SABATOS JOURNALISM STANDARDS that One or Two of you that actually read this have come to despise!!! (And no Mother, that does not include you!!!)

ALAN MAKES A FUNNY:
If you ever happen to visit Richmond Missouri you will immediately discover Two things. One is that even though you are right outside of the Northlands of Kansas City, you are still in the middle of nowhere. The Second is that there are an unusual amount of "special" people who live in the area. I'm still not sure exactly why this is the case, but I suspect that the glowing water supply might have somthing to do with it!! Many of these "special" people work with me at the friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart. And one of them is a pretty odd fellow named Allen. Allen can best be described as that guy who talks all funny in "Slingblade". Except shorter. And worse teeth. Anyway, Allen does maintence duty for us and would usually be the last person one would think of as being a prankster. Usually. But one day last week was different. We have in our store a resident old guy who spends all day hanging out and doesn't buy a thing. He also has this really annoying habit of spending most of that time on one of our "Mart Carts" forcing the paying customers to have to wait for one. (You know, that 750 pound dude in the Sundress!!) So Allen is cleaning the bathrooms upfront when Mr. Old and Crusty comes up to use the bathroom. The old dude gets off the "Mart Cart" and goes to do his business. Allen apparently has long standing issues with the guy and asks a passing associate to move this "abandoned" cart to the nearest entrance!! The associate complies and Allen continues to clean the immediate area. Five minutes later the old dude comes out and starts SCREAMING that someone has stolen his cart!!! And the best part is that he CAN'T complain about it! (He has been told not to use the carts when he is just hanging out.) Of course Allen is never suspected. He just takes his cart and moves on to the nearest trash can. Thankfully one of the cashiers happened to see the whole thing or it would remain one of America's great unsolved mysteries that even Robert Stack would have a hard time solving!!

HMMM. I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMTHING!! YES, I WAS GOING TO MENTION SOMTHING THAT WAS RELATED TO COMPUTERS AND COPMPUTER ACCESSORIES!! PERHAPS I WILL REMEMBER IF I TAKE THE SHORT BUS TO QUESTAVILLE???

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Computers are evil
Posted 8/15/2003 by

Well whaddaya know, I'm finally back! Normally I would say "Some of you were probably wondering where I went to, blah blah yadda yadda...", but after a quick scan of the forums I found that almost nothing has happened there this past week.

But for the interested, I was gone this past week or so because of an evil virus infection that came from KaZaA, which was giving me problems. With a lot of trouble, I finally managed to pinpoint where it came from and destroy it.

After that little shinnanigan I decided to finally be rid of the evil Windows 98, and upgraded to Windows 2000 Pro, which then gave me driver problems. I spent the next few days installing all my drivers, and realized my USB drivers (which power my LAN connection) weren't working.

I spent a couple days trying to figure out WHY they weren't working when I came across an article stating that I needed Service Pack 4 for USB support and wireless connections (Which I have). That made me angry because I need the USB to connect. However, I managed to find an old NIC card and get it to work, and got the downloads almost done when the power goes out. So today I finally got everything up and running, and I am now back and alive.

On a final note, just ignore everything I just typed out. IF you read the whole thing, I have succeeded in wasting your time. If you found any of it interesting, you should seek medical and/or psychological help.

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Questaville
Posted 8/10/2003 by

Hey hi! What's new guys? Are we (Sabatos and its members) still in the greatest midst of Internet obscurity. Why... is that a HELL YES?! I do believe it is! Anyway I just wanted to let all of you inviso-people know that I still exist and wasn't killed by a killer pile-up on the highway because I ignored the signs of death. Wow, that was a mediocre movie if I've ever seen one. Doesn't compare to the original Final Destination though. That was the greatest movie plot ever, next to such American classics as "Grease 2" and "Hackers". Hohoho, surely I jest though. Well I'm not quite sure what the hell you want me to say here now that I have been gone for months at a time. Maybe it's the insanity of working at a retail store similar to Wal-Mart, but specializes in grocery madness. There's nothing like 100 degree weather and pushing carts into a building with narrower entry ways than Jesus's tomb. Also I finally got the chance to watch most, if not all of Kevin Smith's beautiful masterpieces of movies. If you have not seen Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, or heaven-forbid Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, then you should immediately drop the futuristic palm pilot that you're reading this on and go watch them. They are classics that keep me laughing my ass off every time I watch them. They are so great that I actually bought a poster for Mallrats signed by the legend Kevin Smith himself. For only $25, too. Awesome! Nope, your sarcasm meters are lying because I am dead serious. This stuff is great. Well, I just thought that I would check in and see how things are going. Now I'm going to go back to my hermitting and not posting on the forums. Later!

Questa out.

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Super Familia Update Especial!!!
Posted 7/30/2003 by

In the past I have made it a point not to discuss personal matters on Sabatos, but this week I am making an exception!! A few weeks ago my wife left town for a week and left me somthing on top of the toilet. Needless to say, I am quite happy to announce that I will soon be a father for a second time!! Thats right! In a mere 8.5 months there will be another little Ghostal in the Casa De One Eleven!!! Some of you must be wondering whether or not this was an expected event. (Yes, we have been trying for the past few months.) And some others are probably freaking out because they didn't realize that I was married and already have a daughter!!! (MWA HA HA HA!!!)
And speaking of my daughter, she was recently a national winner of the Crayola Dream Makers competition!! Her artwork is currently on display at the Crayola Factory discovery center in Pennsylvania.(And yes, she is quite happy about having a younger brother or sister!)
CONCERNING SABATOS NETWORK: Sabatos has been neglected by me for most of the summer so far. Wal-Mart and family has taken up huge chunks of time as well as other projects away from the computer. Do not fear though, as the site will get going again soon enough!! So what kinds of changes can one expect in the near future? Mainly a big streamlining of the side bar as well as a total makeover for the pages. So what kinds of things will NOT change? For starters, I will continue to belittle and attack those silly Ninja GuYs with "SECRET NACHO FORM DELTA LIGER ZERO!!!" Stay tuned for updates!!

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Terminator 3
Posted 7/20/2003 by

Genre: Action
Year: 2003
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Kristanna Loken, Claire Danes

People have been waiting for this movie for years, but as soon as it's announced, the bets start rolling, and people believe that the movie will suck simply because Arnold Schwarzenegger is a little old. Having never seen an entire Terminator movie before, I went to the theatres the day it came out (That night they had Kristanna Loken on Conan O'brien... or Jay Leno... one of the two), and was impressed. Let's dig in, shall we?

Arnold

The movie starts off with John Connor (Nick Stahl) giving an overview of the previous two movies, and then you see him working in construction, only to find out that he's a bum with a motorbike. Quickly enough, the T-X (Kristanna Loken), the most powerful and sophisticated Terminator machine, appears and begins to hunt down all of John Connors high school friends, who are supposed to be his commanders in the future battles following Judgment Day. The whole story is then based on the events leading up to Judgment Day, with the main crisis being not only that the T-X is in town, and hunting down Connor and Kate (Claire Danes), a friend and future commander of Connor's, but Skynet is on the brink of activating and starting Judgement Day. Makes sense to me.

The other major concern of this movie was the quality of the acting, especially on Arnold's side. But rest assured, the acting is actually quite good. As for Schwarzenegger, he plays a friggin' machine guY, and quite well, might I add. So don't worry about it. But seriously, there's only so much acting required to be a machine. The acting is done quite well, and you can tell that the T-X is a lot smarter and tougher than Arnold's character (which is why Arnold can't kill her).

Arnold, Claire, and Nick

As far as action, explosions, and general mayhem go, I was impressed. Terminator 3 had a good balance of story progression and general mayhem, and the fight scenes were smooth and the camera wasn't shaking around and quickly flashing between shots, which a lot of other movies do (And I hate some movies just for that), which was good to know. The movie also had a couple really cool car chase scenes, and one even involved a hearse, which was funny and cool. On the other side, there was some comedy in this movie as well, mainly by Arnold's character (I don't know if the other movies had any comedy, so I can't make a relation).

Now, I can't give spoilers and such, but the ending was good. It successfully manages to end the series, while at the same time opening the possibility of another sequel, which would probably be pretty cool. But at the same time, I wasn't really satisfied with it. But that's just life. I still think that if you haven't already, you should go see this movie.

Good Points:
-Good car chase scenes
-Good fight scenes/general mayhem
-Somewhat funny
-Good balance of story/mayhem

Bad Points:
-Ending wasn't really satisfying
-Arnold was naked when he first appeared

Movie Length: Roughly 90 minutes

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Red Faction II
Posted 7/18/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Red Faction 2 (2002)

This game is for the PS2. COMING SOON? for the Xbox, GC, and PC.

PC minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 98/98SE/ME/2000/XP
CPU: 500 MHz
RAM: 128 MB
VIDEO: 3D Graphics Accelerator Card (16 MB)
AUDIO: 100% Direct X 8.1 Certified Sound Card
CD-ROM: 4X CD ROM
HOMEPAGE: Red Faction 2

PRICE: About $30.00 USD
By Volition and THQ
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! I was a fan of the first, so I had to grab the second. Red Faction 2 has a wowing capability for its amazing graphics, sounds, and awesome multiplayer... but not much else.

Let's get right into it shall we? The graphics are hands down the most impressive aspect of this game, from the character models to the backgrounds this game is beautiful. There were times in this game I just stopped and looked around at the scenerey. I don't do that often in a game, and it got me killed. So needless to say I was very impressed by the detail and time put into the games graphics.

The audio is nothing new, but I prefer it that way because it was excellent in the first one. So I guess they applied the logical rule "Don't fix it if it aint broke." And it worked. Sometimes a sequal is bad because they take all the good parts out and leave the bad parts, vice versa for this one.

Now for the downside... the story is utter crap. Unlike the first Red Faction game where you play as Parker the miner on a mission, you now play as "Alias". A member of an elite squad of nano-enhanced six. As the story unfolds, back stabbing accurs. It's nothing that makes you care for Alias in any way. Huge disappointment here.

Another disappointing aspect of the game is the level design. Although the "Geo-mod" technology, which allows you to destroy walls and such, has been enhanced it's not enough to save the confusing layouts and retarded objectives.

One thing that does raise this games rating is the fact that the multiplayer is incredibly fun. Lacking co-op mode, the game makes this up by having a handful of multiplayer modes. From deathmatch to CTF to bagman, this game has all the essentials. And guess what? Customizable bots. You can make a bot with whatever attributes you want, save him to your memory card, and then check out his stats anytime you want. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me.

Overall I gave the game a 80/100
"But why so low Tom?"
- Crap story
- Bad level design

"But why so high Tom?"
- Amazing graphics
- Good audio
- Geo-mod technology
- Multiplayer is the fun, yo!

Good for: 10 hours of single and multiplayer action.

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Sabatos conspiracy! Posted 7/12/2003 by
AH HA! I'm assuming EVERYONE went to the sabatos store and noticed the disturbing trend! It seems that SG111 is trying to keep the Ninja man down... I WILL NOT HAVE IT!! You put some pro-ninja apparel on that shopping list SG, or I'll have your head in a basket! Comment on this post in our forums.

A Lame Updater Am I
Posted 7/12/2003 by

YIKES! It has been forever and a day since I last put ANY effort into making a sabatos update!! Now, that is not to say that NOTHING is happening at SABATOS NETWORK©.
Quite the contrary is in fact true!! For those of you who do not frequent the forum, the latest craze with folks has been Funeral Quest. FuneralQuest is one of those turn based Flash games that you can find all over the Internet. You are a funeral home owner and you are out to be the best in the business. Be sure to check it out before its too late!!
For those of you who need somthing more imaginative, I have recently unburied an Interactive Fiction script that has laid dorment on the site for well over a year. (FREAKY!!!) All you need to do is sign up for an account, and then write about whatever it is you feel the need to write about!! I'm thinking King Nacho will most likely leave a few choice stories in the near future!!
And speaking of King Nacho, we have a whole new line of merchandise in our online store. Usually our goods are lame, but I have to say, that this latest round is pretty cool!!! KING NACHO SEZ TO BE BUYING HIS THINGS AND ALL RIGHT NOW OR ELSE THERE WILL BE BEING MORE TROUBLE THAN THERE WOULD NORMALLY BE BEING!!!

And remember: Have fun in the "OOL". Notice there is no "P" in it!!! Please keep it that way!

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I AM BEING THE ONE WHO IS IN THE CONTROL NOW!!!
Posted 7/04/2003 by

HELLO STOOPID NINJA GUYS!! LOOK WHO IS BEING IN CONTROL NOW!!! While all of you silly American types were watching the fireworks and drinking things that make you STUPID LIKE NINJA, I was taking over the government!! Who will be laughing nows??? For those who are not be knowing what that means, KING NACHO WILL RULE YOU ALL!!!!

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Happy Birthday America! Posted 7/04/2003 by
Today is the 4th of July! That time of year when Americans celebrate life, liberty, and being stupid. Let's all enjoy blowing ourselves up with fireworks, eating hotdogs and smores until we vomit, and getting more drunk than any human should ever get. *God bless America!* Comment on this post in our forums.

Not Quite Dead Yet...
Posted 6/21/2003 by

  My apologies for the lack of updates. Writer's block has struck me and will not let go. I'll be back with a killer update soon enough. In the meantime, please accept this magazine cover from back in the day featuring hip hop legends Kris Kross!!

  My apologies for the lack of updates. Writer's block has struck me and will not let go. I'll be back with a killer update soon enough. In the meantime, please accept this magazine cover from back in the day featuring hip hop legends Kris Kross!!

  My apologies for the lack of updates. Writer's block has struck me and will not let go. I'll be back with a killer update soon enough. In the meantime, please accept this magazine cover from back in the day featuring hip hop legends Kris Kross!!

  My apologies for the lack of updates. Writer's block has struck me and will not let go. I'll be back with a killer update soon enough. In the meantime, please accept this magazine cover from back in the day featuring hip hop legends Kris Kross!

  My apologies for the lack of updates. Writer's block has struck me and will not let go. I'll be back with a killer update soon enough. In the meantime, please accept this magazine cover from back in the day featuring hip hop legends Kris Kross!

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Player Worlds
Posted 6/18/2003 by

Title: Player Worlds
Type: MMORPG game server/client
File Size: 4.23MB
Developer: Mirage
Website:www.playerworlds.com

Title Screen

Player Worlds is a software client/server package that allows the common person to create their own MMORPG game, or play someone else's. Best part is that it's free. How does it stay free? Simple: Rather than host all playerworlds on a main server thing (Such as Graal did), this game connects to the IP address of the playerworld, which is hosted by the server owner. Optionally, server owners can buy web site domains or server hosting space from playerworlds.com, if they can't find their own method of hosting. However, the downside of this is that some games can be harder to find, and you'd have to look for the IP of a playerworld to join it.

The client itself is stable on most computers (except mine, because it hates me for some reason), and as long as you have the right IP address you can create an account on that person's server, and then log in. The game system runs somewhat like Graal, except it's based more on Final Fantasy for the default sprite set, and when you start off you can be either a Warrior, Mage, or Cleric - each with their own default traits (Diablo, anyone?). The playing is very simple. You move with the arrow keys, run by holding shift, and attack/talk by pressing CTRL. To chat, just type what you want to say and press enter.

In the game

The chat system functions much like IRC or that of StarCraft (which I believe is based on IRC, so it's the same). You can use a slash (/) followed by certain commands to do different things. Admins and server owners get extra options, such as editing NPCs, items, or levels.

There's also a scripting engine, but I have no idea how it works. When creating items and whatnot, you simply select item types and the values (admins only). The new engine features a playerlist on the right-hand side of the screen, so you can easily find admins or other people. However, at the time there is no PM support by right-clicking (you have to use the / command to PM someone).

Some other downsides are that the graphics aren't the best, and while the game comes with default music, you can never hear it. Whether that's a problem with my computer or the server I play on, I don't know, but I'm not bothered by it since I have WinAmp running in the background anyway. However, sound effects would be welcome.

All in all, this obviously isn't the greatest piece of cheese to grace the burger, but it's definitely at least a temporary solution. If you need a server, try the IP address 207.192.206.141 - That's the Luminar server. Go to it.

Overall, I give this beast a 7/10
Good Points:
-Simple gameplay
-FREE!
-Easy to set up
-Fast Download, lots of support from http://www.playerworlds.com/board/index.php

Bad Points:
-No sound!
-Graphics
-Can be hard to find playerworlds

Overall, good for plenty of hours!

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Peekaboo
Posted 6/17/2003 by

Wow, sorry. It's been forever and a day since I've graced the Sabatos main page. It's been kind of quiet around here these past few weeks. Maybe I should post something just to let you all know that I'm still alive. I'd like to consider myself a freelancer, but I don't even know if I can post as a freelance writer because I'm so freaking lazy. It's taken me a month to get around to writing a single post that might take a half hour or less. Hey! How about I update you on a certain Online RPG that is finally taking shape? Yeah that sounds like a good idea to get away from my "freelance frenzy". Okay let's talk about Aeon Legend. JimCamel and Kraken, the two main Conspirators behind the project have been going at the online RPG (Kraken interrupts my writing right about now with an IM window, that was weird) for about two years. They've struggled through engine rewrites, personal issues, school, and just about every obstacle you can think of, they've hit it. But now it almost seems like the project is finally pulling itself together. The Aeon Legend online got some servers going, make some levels, etc. It's one awesome piece of game. There are a few weird bugs, but for the most part it's pretty solid. I've throughly tested the online mode with my little mini-LAN here at "House Questa" and it runs pretty damned smooth if you ask me. The functionality is almost on par with those gservers that everyone was crazy about a year or so ago. Yes! It's that good, go there and check it out. That's all for now, oh and I wanted to plug my personal site. Sorry Sabatos, you're no longer my home. "Quadu Online" is a badly coded piece of crap that I'm willing to drop for my little ditty of a site called "Some Quam Stuff". Check it out here.

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PS2 Fighting Game Championship!
Posted 6/16/2003 by

Double Review:

Both games are for the Playstation 2:

Product name: Tekken Tag Tournament
PRICE: $19.99
By Namco
Rated T for Teen

Product name: Virtua Fighter 4
PRICE: $19.99
By Sega
Rated T for Teen

This review will break out of the standard review for it's the:

PS2 FIGHTER CHAMPIONSHIP!

I've taken two of the best fighters for the PS2 and pit them against each other for the ultimate prize: Best PS2 Fighting Game.

ROUND 1: Concept/Story

Tekken Tag Tournament (TTT) - Here we have the Tekken series first introduction to the PS2, Tekken has already gotten a fan base from the PS1 with Tekken 1 - 3. So it only seems natural to keep the sweet gravy train rolling.

Virtua Fighter 4 (VF4) - One of segas biggest franchise is the Virtua Fighter series. Virtua Fighter was the first 3D fighting game and is still fun today. VF was followed up by 2 sequels for the Sega Saturn and Sega Dreamcast and has made it's first appearance on the PS2 with VF4.

ROUND 2: Features

TTT allows you to play as 20 characters, but that's not all. After you complete the arcade mode you unlock a character, and guess what? This happens FOURTEEN times! That's a total of 34 characters! Each with 2-5 different costumes. That's a lot of combinations! Guess how many moves that makes up? OVER 2000!!! On top of that, you also unlock Tekken Bowling and Gallery. Bowling is just that: A bowling game. And the gallery enables you to pause the game during a fight and take a screenshot and save it to your memory card, pretty cool eh? One more thing: Tag. You pick two characters at the beginning and tag in and out of the match strategically. It's very cool.

VF4 allows you to play as 13 characters. You can unlock 1 more. On top of the 14 characters, each one has two costumes and can be edited to change their colors and equipped locked items (such as boots and necklaces). Also the game has an A.I training made where you can train a bot of a certain character and pit him against your friends, self, or other bots in the VS mode.

VF4 takes an elbow smash to the face in the features round.

ROUND 3: Graphics

Although TTT may be the first PS2 Tekken game, the graphics are not that updated. They look really nice but they do NOT compare to the graphics of VF4. VF4 sports high-polygon models, great light sourcing and AMAZING environments to fight in.

TTT gets a knee to the groin in the graphics round.

ROUND 4: Audio

TTT has some amazing audio, but it's not enough to fight off VF4's incredible music. Both games have excellent sound effects but TTT's music can get annoying: Fast.

TTT didn't duck and got a mouthful of fist in the audio round.

ROUND 5: Gameplay

TTT is probably so popular because of it's outstanding controls and gameplay, in fact it's so good, it's shared by another amazing fighting game called "Soul Caliber". So what about VF4? VF4's controls suck. You can barley manage to pull off half the moves without spraining your thumb. And this SHOULD be impossible considering there are only three buttons in use for this game!

VF4 gets a taste of revenge as TTT returns the knee to the groin in the gameplay round.

ROUND 6: Other Stuff/ Final Round

TTT uses the multitap to make it a 4 player game, VF4 does not. VF4 is pressure sensitive, TTT is not. TTT has unique character movie endings for the arcade mode, VF4 does not.

VF4 is kicked in the stomach in the final round.

End fight commentary:

Although VF4 has some great graphics and inovative enviroments, it just can't compete with TTT's amazing amount of characters, extras, and it's wonderful gameplay. Some of you may find VF4 to be better, but not me baby... not me...

WINNER: Tekken Tag Tournament!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall I gave TTT a 90/100

"But why so low Tom?"
-Graphics need improvements.
-Music can get annoying.

"But why so high Tom?"
-34 characters!
-Hidden game modes!
-Gameplay/controls are perfect!

Good for: 5 hours or more, depending if you play multiplayer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall I gave VF4 a 83/100

"But why so low Tom?"
-Controls suck!
-Not enough characters
-No hidden features

"But why so high Tom?"
-Amazing graphics!
-Sweet combo's!
-A.I system is cool.

Good for: 3 hours, more with multiplayer.

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Garage Sale Madness!
Posted 6/14/2003 by

Today, as part of my final project for careers class in school, I accompanied my dad to work for a "job shadow". The purpose was so that I could find out if I was truly interested in a certain field (In this case my dad was a sales manager).

Anyway, it turns out that his company, which deals in siding and windows, as well as some other miscellaneous items, was having a huge garage sale, which they advertised in the paper. As it turns out, many people are lacking some common sense. Here are some conversation that happened, with people who were serious.

First Conversation
Me: "Can I help you with anything?" (I was supposed to assist with my dad's duties)
Customer: "Yes, I was wondering about the pricing for a small garage. Well, more of a large shed actually. I just want to store lawnmowers and ladders and stuff in it."
Me:Trying not to laugh "I'm sorry, sir, but we're not selling garages" Not like you can buy them anyway, fool
Customer: "Well I saw your ad in the paper saying this was a garage sale."
Me: "Yes, but it's not a literal term. We're just selling extra stuff from the showroom and the store room to make some space."
Customer: "Oh."

Yes, folks, that actually happened. 'Twas a strange day at work.

Other Conversation
Phone rings
Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Yes, I was just wondering how many garages you folks had left."
Me: "Um, I'm sorry, ma'am, but we don't have any garages for sale."
Caller: "So you sold them, then."
Me: "Well, no. When we advertised for a garage sale that just meant that we're selling extra showroom and store room items to make more space."
Caller: Laughing "Oh, I'm sorry. I must've misunderstood the ad."
Me: "It's no problem."
Caller: "Ok then. Good-bye." *click*
My Dad: "Someone else asking about garages?Laughs What's up with these people?"
Me: "I don't know, but I saw a yard sale advertised today. Maybe we should stop by. Your yard's looking a little small."

And that just goes to show how foolish people can be. In total, there were seven people who came in seriously interested in buying a garage from a window and siding store.

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Fathers Day! Posted 6/14/2003 by
Tommorow is fathers day everyone! Although you may not know it, ties and tools are not the best presents around! Show your Dad your creative side like I will! Or give him *CASH!!!* Comment on this post in our forums.

Job Hunting
Posted 6/12/2003 by

Ok so that time in my life has come, time to GET A JOB!!
Problem for me is I don't have a car, due to the fact that I have no job. SO I figure "Better get a job around town, walking distance from my house, until I can afford that 500 dollar shit box on the side of the road." So I hit a few stores, this is my story:

First stop is the gas station thats maybe 500 yards from my house. I walk into the station and notice a fat and nasty looking man sitting at a desk watching a 9 inch television.
Me - "Hello, I was wondering if you might be hiring?"
Fat and Nasty man just stares at me with a dumbass grin... like he was waiting for something. It felt like that new Jetta comercial where he's like "So super plus then?" "No thats allright the super should do it." "Really? The super?" You know the one.
Me - "Well?"
F&N - "I dont know..."
Me - "Ok... well... I'll just..."
F&N - "Let me get the application."
Me - "Would have been better to just do that in the first place Mr. Creepy."

So I get the application and its your run of the mill "fill it out and bring it back" application.

Next stop: The video store.
Now this job would be great and easy to get. The owner of the video store is friends with my Dad. But guess what? He isn't there. It's his wife who hates everyone, of COURSE!

Me - "Hi, I was wonder if you were highering?"
VideoStore Owner Wife - "I'm not sure but you can fill out..."

Now I'm expecting "this application." but what I get is...

VSOW - "...peice of paper."
Me - "Pardon?"
VSOW - "Just put your name and number on it and we'll call you."

I knew she really meant "DIE!!!!"

So I "fill it out" and hand it back to her and made a brisk getaway.

Next stop: Local shit store.

Me - "Hi, I was wondering if..."
Local shit store hag - "No."
Me - "Ok then."

Thats my first day of job hunting, lets see what day two brings!!!

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Might and Magic IX
Posted 6/05/2003 by

Product Name: Might and Magic IX
Platform: PC

Minimum System Requirements:
Operating System: Windows 95 or higher
CPU: Pentium II 400MHz or equivalent
RAM: 64 MB
Hard Drive: 1GB Free
Video: Something that supports DirectX 8.0 with at least 16MB VRAM
Sound: Any major DirectX 8.0-compatible sound card

Other Info:
Homepage: Might and Magic IX Homepage
Price: $60 Canadian
Publisher: 3DO
Rating: Teen

Cow Tipping is fun, no?

Well folks, I do believe it's high time I reviewed something, and now that I've gotten back into my video game groove, I decided to review Might and Magic IX, the latest in the series.

First off, let me start by saying that if you're a long-time fan of the series, or have at least played and enjoyed previous games, this one is quite a bit different than the last few. For starters, they've completely revamped the class system, making you plan your characters' path sooner, but leaving it open to change as your needs change. How did they do this? Well, they generalized the classes quite a bit. Now, instead of selecting from four or five different classes that can each upgrade, you select either fighter or scholar. The fighter's class tree branches off twice, for a total of 6 options (though not all at the same time), as does the scholar's class tree. It could be a welcomed change, or it could not be. Personally, I can see the advantages, but prefer the older system. As well, they've added some extra stuff, like crouching, cow tipping, and a new bar that displays how much damage you did with an attack. That's right... cow tipping. (see above picture)

Graphic wise, this game lives up to our world's standards, offering rather impressive 3-D graphics that don't cut. The inventory is laid out beautifully, and everything looks nice and snazzy. That is, until you get into combat of any sort. First off, although some of the spells look good, the majority are just like previous games... cheesy and poorly created, which is a let-down. Likewise, you constantly have this crosshair on your screen, and to do an action you have to center it on the object. It's like this series is trying to go FPS (First-Person Shooter, for the uninformed). What's even more of a let-down is how the game tells you how much damage you've done, or whether you missed or whatever. It puts up a little gray box with tiny font at the bottom of the screen. No blood, no guts, just text. Don't believe me? Look to your left. You can't read it, but there was some damage done there, and those are the boxes. However, graphics aren't a complete let-down. I mean, at least the interface looks cool, right?

The gameplay is one of the better parts of the game, and I found it was actually a pretty cool game. Basically, you go around killing monsters and solving quests in order to get money and experience. The experience you use to train to the next level which, once reached, will grant you skill points to distribute among your skills to increase their power. When your skills are a high enough level, you can upgrade to expert, master, or grandmaster (depending on class) for that skill. Likewise, you can advance your class when you reach a certain level and find a certain trainer. The fighting is very simplistic, and there's no change from any other games. You can fight real-time, or press "Enter" to engage the turn-based mode. You left-click, and the computer decides whether to do a ranged attack or a melee attack. The right mouse button will try to cast a character's quick spell first, then decide whether to do range or melee if you have no MP.

Gah!

Honestly, I haven't played far enough into the game yet to understand just what the story is. However, I discovered that the people in town don't want me to leave, that I can shoot a goat about a million times and it still won't die, and that I can tip a cow multiple times and watch it get back up, just to tip it again. Fun stuff.

The controls in this game aren't overly complicated, but the mouse look could take some time to get used to (unless you're like me and play a lot of First-Person Shooters without a joystick). As well, to be able to use the controls easily, you'll have to use WASD for control instead of the arrow keys. But it's no biggy, right? That's what I thought. The only really hard thing is aiming with that damn crosshair. When I tried to flick the switch my crosshair was pointed on once, I ended up flicking another switch. When you're in a room full of traps and mistake is not an option, that's definitely a downside.

The music in this game is pretty much non-existent, and what little there is, is mostly just the same as the other games: somewhat slow, old-fashioned sounding stuff. The sound effects are mostly timed right, although there are some delays. When you open doors and stuff, you can hear it, and when they shut, you can hear it and usually also tell which direction it's coming from, which is good, because otherwise when I turn to look to see what the hell's coming to attack me only to find a closing door, at least I know what direction to turn in.

Anyway, all-in all, it's not a bad game, but there are definitely some improvements that could be made.

That is why the overall score is 6.5/10
Good Points:
-Good graphics
-Class system offers more options/changes
-Cow tipping = coolness

Bad Points:
-Hardly any music
-Sound effect timing = crap
-No battle effects other than the spells
-Font is hard to read without getting up close.

Good for about 1-30 hours, depending on attention span and other such factors

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Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick
Posted 5/30/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Evil Dead: A fistful of Boomstick

This game was released for the PS2, Xbox, and I think GameCube, but the official site doesn't say.

HOMEPAGE: Evil Dead Game
Evil Dead Fan Source

PRICE: $19.99 US$
By THQ and VIS
Rated M for Mature

Listen up you primitive screwheads! I was expecting this game to totally suck, but I'm a fan of the Evil Dead movies and I figured "What the hell, for 20 bucks it would be worth it just to hear Bruce Campbell's voice acting for Ash." And guess what? It DOESN'T suck. Can you believe it? The game was released at a starting price of 20 dollars, and it doesn't make me scream in pain when I play it. Groovy.

For those of you unfamiliar to the name Evil Dead, Evil Dead was a campy horror movie made in 1978 directed by Sam Raimi (Dark Man, Spider-Man) and starring Bruce Campbell as the sissy Ashley (Ash) who is a coward until its time to kick deadite ass. It was followed up by a sequel "Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn" which again starred Bruce Campbell and was friggin hilarious. It was then followed up by "Army of Darkness" which was originally going to be called "Evil Dead 3: Medieval Dead" because it took place during the Middle Ages, but Universal Studios got involved and decided to change the name of the movie and then proceeded to cut the shit out of it! Changing the ending as well as cutting out 15 minuets of the film. Why? Because they wanted too. Anyway, that movie also starred Bruce Campbell (he was thrown back in time at the end of Evil Dead 2) and was also funny as HELL. Get it?

Anyway, you play as Ash, the infamous Deadite slayer (Deadite is Evil Dead's name for zombie/possessed person) that is missing a hand (see Evil Dead 2) and has replaced the nub with a customized chainsaw, so basically you have a chainsaw for an arm. Ash is voiced by Bruce Campbell and has a bunch of funny one liners (what Ash is known for). Anyway, Ash must save his home town of Dearborn from the Evil Dead and make his way through hoards of enemies (30 of them at times). There is a story, but there's no point in talking about it. It involves the Book of Dead, zombies, professors, TV, Hell and of course, Ash.

The graphics in this game look terrible in screenshots, I know. But surprisingly they are MUCH better than pictured here. In fact, I would say this game has really freakin good graphics. Nothing ground breaking or anything, but very crisp and well animated. The lighting effects are next to nothing, but hey, at least this game HAS shadows right?

The game is covered with blood, gore, violence and humor. Such as impaling your "handy" chainsaw (HAHA!) into the chest of a deadite, lifting him off the ground, then blowing him off the chainsaw with your Boomstick*, followed up by a little one liner such as "A little nip and tuck and that should be fine, right?" So basically it's entertaining as hell.

There are two modes of play in the game, story (the normal deadite slaughtering with a story) and arcade (the normal deadite slaughtering with points). It also has a spell casting system where you read a passage from the book of spells that will probably kill or help you kill a bunch of deadites, it's pretty cool but nothing special. The game includes a bunch of weapons and each one is upgradable, making the killing fest never a bore.

The sound effects in the game are awesome, but the music is crap. The one good thing I can say about the music is it changes pace when deadites are around, which is good because sometimes you wouldn't have known they were there otherwise.

This game is a definite must-have for any fan of the movies, Bruce Campbell, or non-stop action violence. For anyone not a huge fan of any of those things, I suggest renting it, or sticking your head in the oven with the gas on.

*Boomstick = A 12-gauge, double-barreled shotgun. Found in the sporting goods department, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retailing for about $199.95, it's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart... shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT!?!

Overall I gave the game a 80/100
"But why so low Tom?"
- The story is shot.
- Music is crap.
- Easy to get lost, no map.

"But why so high Tom?"
- Bruce Campbell!
- GORE!
- CHEAP!
- I'll swallow your soul!

Good for: Normal people - 5 hours, Psychotic fans like me - endless. Hail to the king, baby.

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WJoD: Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood II
Posted 5/25/2003 by

Greetings Interweb citizens! It seems like only yesterday... or December 18th, that we last visited the "Wal-Mart Journal of Doom" to see who were the people in the neighborhood. (HA HA! I AM CLEVER BECAUSE I WORKED THE NAME OF THE ARTICLE TITLE INTO THE FIRST SENTENCE!!) This series focuses on different types of customers that I run into on a daily basis. And beings that there are more than just "One" type of customer shopping these days, I had better be making with the typing!! So without further adieu, let's meet the newest customer in the neighborhood!!

NAME: Anal Retentive Photo Chick

TYPE: One of a kind

DIFFICULTY: 4 out of 10 (Problem easily solved, but extremely rude)

QUOTE: "Just look at that picture and tell me what you see..."

It all started with a page to come to the Photo Lab for customer assistance. Simple enough, right? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WRONG YOU ARE GUY!!! (SPECIAL HINT: When the associate calls for help to the Photo Lab it can only mean two things. Someone wants to make prints of copyrighted images, or someone is pissed about their pictures. Either way, it is always ends up bad.) I walk up to the counter and no sooner than I could ask how I could be of assistance, I get this crazed Soccer Mom type shoving a picture in my face!! She says to me, "Just look at this picture and tell me what you see." I'm a bit confused so I start looking for image defects but can't immediately tell what the issue is. Of couse, that just pisses her off. I finally have to tell her that I want to help her but she needs to explain her problem to me. She "informs" me that my "photo people" have completely ruined her negative. She went on to "inform" me that when you look at the large image that there is a "very large and annoying scratch across the people in the picture". (Of course the fact that she had used a Craptacular DISPOSABLE CAMERA never entered her mind!!) I quickly assessed the situation and figured I should get her out of the store and satisfied as quickly as possible!! I explained that I was no image expert, and offered her a sincere apology and a discount on her photo package. She seemed to be satisfied, so I wished her a good day and went about my way. (BUT THAT IS WHERE I WAS WRONG!!!)

Fast forward to about 4:55pm. I was assisting the unloaders with the first of two trucks and was paged for a phone call. Here is how it went:

Me: Hi this is Shane, how can I help you?

PSYCHO PIC LADY: HELLO? IS THIS THE MANAGER I TALKED TO ABOUT THE BAD PICTURES EARLIER TODAY???

Me: Yes it is Maam. Was there something else I could do for you?

PSYCHO PIC LADY: YES, I WAS JUST WANTING YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE TAKEN THE PICTURES AND NEGATIVES TO A REAL PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO AND I FOUND SOMTHING OUT.

Me: OK. What is it that you wanted to tell me? *Wonders why this phone call is even happening*

PSYCHO PIC LADY: THE REAL PHOTOGRAPHER LOOKED AT THE NEGATIVES AND SAYS THAT YOU GUYS DID NOT MESS UP THE NEGATIVES AND THAT IT CAN STILL BE MADE INTO GOOD PRINTS WITHOUT THAT ONE LINE I WAS SHOWING YOU!

Me: Hmm. Sounds good then. *Wonders how this person cannot understand that her problem was solved Two hours ago*

PSYCHO PIC LADY: WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK ME TO HAVE MORE PRINTS MADE??

Me: You can get more prints whenever you want to Maam. *Suddenly realizes that powerful forces are conspiring to get me*

PSYCHO PIC LADY: CAN I GET A DISCOUNT???

Me: Umm... sure. *cries*

After reading the story back thus far, it doesn't appear to be all that awful. Then I began to think things over again and... WHY WOULD SOMEONE GO TO ALL OF THIS TROUBLE OVER SOME STUPID PICTURES??!! I JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!! IS SHE INSANE? OR HAS SHE TURNED ME INSANE BY SOME MAGICAL FEAT OF TELEPHONE INDUCED WITCHERY??!! I JUST DON'T GET IT!! AAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Today's Lesson: Make sure the customer knows that they are right and make them say so out loud!! (That way they won't call back!!)

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DIE NACHO MAN! Posted 5/18/2003 by
King Nacho, you are the only stupid I see! You are helping plywood pete, yet I seem to remember him saying something about Nachos a long time ago... Plus I am not at all worried about his stupid posse! I WILL CUT THEM ALL DEAD!!! And besides... Comment on this post in our forums.

Everything Back To Normal...
Posted 5/17/2003 by

As you have most likely noticed, Sabatos Network has been down for the past few days. Here is what happened:
Our host, Nexose Network does a a very fine job of taking care of it's bills in a timely manner. However, it's upstream provider had records showing that Nexose was delinquent in it's payments. (This was not the case.) However, they decided to suspend the account without as much as a courtesy email. As soon as this happened, Mafukie tried to contact the provider to rectify the situation. It took a total of Fourteen phone calls over a period of Two Days to even get a hold of someone to make things right!!
(Anyway, mad "props" to Maf for getting things back online as quickly as possible!)

During all of this "downtime" I was able to complete a few tasks that had been needing to be done for a while. One of those was downloading Ragnarock Online and several MP3s via Kazaa Lite. That’s right... I put on my eye patch and became an old fashioned file share pirate!! (Thus the lame pic on the left there.)So if anyone is looking for some of the more popular "free" files out there be sure to let me know!!! So what did YOU do while Sabatos was offline? Let us know about it in the forums!

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Who Is Being The Laughter Now???? Posted 5/14/2003 by
HA HAA HA HAA HAA!! STOOPID NINJA!! YOU HAD BETTER BE BEINGS WATHERING OUT FOR YOUR ONE SELF NOW BECAUSE THE PLYWOOD PETE HAS SECRET ATTACK!!!!! Comment on this post in our forums.

Ninjas do what? Posted 5/13/2003 by
Think that was funny? WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW PP!? Whats the matter? CUT got your tongue? Comment on this post in our forums.

Review: "Robotrek"
Posted 5/12/2003 by

Developer- Enix
Published by- Quintet
Number of players- 1
Genre- RPG
Platform- SNES
Release Date- 1994

Today's guest reviewer: Dart Zaidyer

What happens when a bunch of script kiddies get together and attempt to take over the world?

The answer: Robotrek.

  Originally entitled "Slapstick" in Japan, this is a light-hearted sci-fi RPG starring a hapless young inventor who appears to be a preliminary cross between Chrono Trigger's Crono and Cartoon Network's Dexter. As the story goes, the "Hackers", an empire of idiotic troublemakers, are attempting to take over the planet Quintenix, which just happens to be the hero's home. As buffoonish as they are, the citizens of Quintenix are no better, because they keep falling for it. Needless to say, it's up to you and your ability to invent things.

  Invention is at the core of the game here. with the help of your trusty invention machine, you can combine various objects to make new ones, and by leveling up, you can read books to learn how to make something new.
Of course, you can't level up without combat. To achieve this front, you have to construct combat robots. This part of the game is incredibly open-ended: There are plenty of weapons to go around, point-by-point stat editing, attack combos, and various other useful bits of equipment such as mortar backpacks and hover boots.

  There are plenty of quirks about this game on the side; For one, the ABYSMAL translation. I swear, whoever translated this game needs to be shot. It's not Zero Wing-style Engrish, but it's close. The grammar will often make you say "huh?" at crucial game points. (For example, before the evil boss Blackmore attacks you, he says "Are you ok kid? I will help you get revenge on Blackmore." No fooling, folks. The most galling part is that this break in grammar only occurs at important junctures.)
Another interesting quirk: This game sports what most kids will instantly recognize as Pokéballs. Granted, the colors are inverted and they're proportional to a soccer ball, but the point here is that this was in 1994, when Pokémon had not yet been invented. Curious indeed.

  Which isn't to say Robotrek isn't a good game. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. The graphics are nice to look at and the combat system is ahead of it's time.

  Speaking of combat, this isn't your typical Final Fantasy fare. There's no such thing as "random battles", although at times enemies can spawn out of nowhere or stay cloaked until you foolishly run into them. Combat itself takes place on a separate area, where you deploy a robot against up to three enemies. Unless you have a long-range weapon, you'll have to move around quite a bit in order to strike your enemies. The battles are timed depending on how many enemies are on field, and if you beat the clock, you get bonus experience. (Experience, by the way, is measured in ones and tenths of "megs".)
Boss Battles are brutal unless you have the right equipment and are leveled up far enough; Even if you find a way to make normal battles a piece of cake, that tactic will almost never work on a boss. They have excellent defense and deal some serious damage. You'll need to practically dedicate one of your Robots to boss combat.

  As for the game's plot, it's what you'd expect from modern sci-fi RPGs. (ironically before it became the norm.) The storytelling also appears fractured at first, until you play farther and close a bunch of causality loops. I like to think of it as "nonlinear" storytelling. If it weren't for the suffering translation, it would have been even more fulfilling.

  Shortcomings aside, this is an all-around great game, especially considering how far ahead of it's time it really is. (The follies and foibles of the Hackers resonate better today than they did in 1994. All we need here is l33tspeak!) Not to mention the cool battle system and the eerie presence of Pokeballs before Pokeballs came to be.

  So, that said... Where can you get it? Well, most people judged the game too early so you might be able to find it in a bargain bin... On the other hand, it's a rare find where I live. Yet another quirk to add to the collection in this game!

  I recommend this game for anyone sick of "the same old thing" in RPGs. Just be ready to put on your thinking cap, because invention doesn't come easy, and the translation can be a doozy!

rating: 7

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Whoa, it's Mother's Day and stuff guY!
Posted 5/11/2003 by

Well, I woke up this morning and imagine my surprise when I looked at my calendar to figure out what day it was (I get confused by these things sometimes... especially weekends), and realized it's Mother's Day. Now, having forgotten several times during the week, and being dirt poor and unable to buy anything, I was in trouble. But then I had an idea, and managed to save myself. Other people might not be so lucky... or stupid for that matter. But if you didn't get your mother anything, or forgot, or whatever, here's your

Guide to Surviving Mother's Day

1. Don't forget it! First thing is to not forget mother's day in the first place, but if you do, move on to the next few steps.

2. Run out and get a card guY! Well, if you forget to prepare ahead of time, there's always the day before for shopping for Mother's Day gifts, or at least a card. It works just like Christmas, except usually shops don't close for Mother's Day.

3. Make Breakfast and other good things! Well, if all else fails, making breakfast should be at least something (of course, make it for your mother, not yourself), unless you do it anyway.

If you're not up that early (like me most of the time), make lunch and/or supper.

4. Help out around the house guY! Nobody likes chores... especially mothers. That's why you should take their workload and do it yourelf. It's browny points, so do it.

Yes, this guide is retarded, and so am I. But if I had of posted it two days earlier like I had intended to do before I got working on my website, it would have been more effective and useful.

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WILL YOU STOP WIT DAT guY!? "ENE" ISH DEAD AN THINGS!!!
Posted 5/11/2003 by

Man, that Tom Kane has it all wrong! I don't SECRETLY hate our OLD and BUSTED mascot "Ene" the talking Enema. I HATE HIS FRIGGIN GUTS and sincerely hope that he winds up moving out again and living with his cousin Larry in America!! As the hip teen sensation KRIS KROSS would say if they were asked; "Ene" is just WIGGITY WIGGITY WACK!! Have I even mentioned what it is that makes me so disgusted with the bloated bottom filler? I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BECAUSE HE SUCKS SO BAD!!! But being the moronic person that I am, I'm going to tell you anyway!

REASONS TO HATE "ENE":

1) He is a 6' tall talking enema - Thats right, Sabatos Network picked a friggin Six foor tall enema to be it's mascot!! Yes, we actually chose to have this enormous ass washer to represent sabatos, and all that it moght or might not stand for depending on what day that it is.

2) He smells like ass - I realize that this reason should be fairly obvious, but believe it or not, some folks fail to realize that we are dealing with a 400lb BULB FULL OF POOP WATER!! Imagine if you will having to live with the stench of such a creature 24/7 and still finding time to enjoy life!

3) He is a bad influence on children - Even though government statistics state otherwise. Drinking mouthwash while surfing for scat porn is NOT the proper way to babysit a child!! I can't even let that "BUTT POKER" outside for five minutes for fear that he will lure children to the back yard to see the new "sprinkler" that he tells them about!!

Now if that didn't scare you straight I'm not sure what else will. But enough about that old washed up has been. There is still time to introduce you to our latest mascot PLYWOOD PETE!!! And let me tell you, the difference between these mascots is night and day! PLYWOOD PETE for example, is NOT a giant walking enema. He is a piece of plywood that waves and advertises whatever we put in his "box". The image on the left shows PLYWOOD PETE showing his dislike for the common household ninja, but several other messages are available as well.

So remember folks, "ENE" is NOT the official mascot of Sabatos Network! and don't be letting anyone else be telling you different!!

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What dreams may come?
Posted 5/09/2003 by

Ok, so you may be sabatosed out when: You dream about the sites owner.

Not like that you sicko! But in a strange and unexplainable way; I dreamt that I made a thread in the forum trying to revive the beloved "ENE", when I got messaged by SG111 on AIM saying
"WILL YOU STOP WIT DAT guY!? HE ISH DEAD AN THINGS!"
What was scarier still, was he deleted me off the team/forum/and hotmail (how he deleted my hotmail account is a mystery to me). So then I got a new account on the forum begging for forgiveness from everyone, and SG111 proceeded to electrocute me through my keyboard! AH!

What does all this mean? Only one thing... SG111 secretly hates the ENE! Or I've been spending way too much time on the Internet but... NO! SG111 SECRETLY HATES ENE!

SG111 HATING ENE!

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LINE UX
Posted 5/05/2003 by

Well... It's that time of year again children. The time of year that Questa gets that seasonal urge to install the operating system known as Linux. More specifically, Gentoo Linux. The thing is a beast to install and I finally got it done and all ready to run... When I started installing it on freaking FRIDAY. Yes ladies and gents, I have the time and patience to stick with an operating system install/configuration for three whole days. Just today I got CUPS (printing support for my awesome printer) to work. That was a pain in the ass because it seemed like everything was set up fine, but nothing would fucking print! The printer would just sit there like a goon and stare into my eyes while I stared into its cold, heartless, mechanical green power light. Yeah, yeah, but I got it. I know some of you (the two-three people who read this site) are confused at this whole Linux thing and let me give you an idea of what I'm talking about. Linux is a free operating system that is a free alternative to Microsoft's Windows. Well, I put the term alternative loosely because some distributions (like Gentoo Linux) is for the extreme computer nerd when it comes to installation. Others are much easier, such as Red Hat Linux or Mandrake Linux. Both are aimed towards the casual user who is looking for a nice alternative to Microsoft's Monopoly. It takes quite of dedication to rid yourself completely of Windows, which even I am not able to do. I still need Windows for tasks like video editing and webcam stuff. Linux can look very beautiful if you get the settings tweaked right. So if you are one for having your computer look smoother than hot grease on steel (fucking hell, where did THAT come from?!) then Linux can be for you if you don't mind losing some compatibility with products that are Windows-specific. But! There is always a BUT! Well, there are usually tons of linux alternatives to products like Photoshop, Word, Excel, Winamp, and tons others. The real kicker there is the word free. Things like Open Office blow Microsoft out of the water because they are completely FREE. There is no obligation, trial/grace period, or anything. In fact, most Linux distributions are completely free. Some aren't, but those ones aren't any better than the ones you can find for free. You just download it and install. Well, that's another con about Linux. Installation... You need to have some experience with command lines to fully 'get' the Linux experience. Installation of software can usually be pretty painless, but then again, you might run in to the infamous "Dependency Hell". That is where you try to install something through an RPM (Redhat Package Manager, the standard nowadays for software installation) file and that RPM requires you to download another RPM, and so forth. Gentoo Linux, the version of Linux I installed, eliminates this by incorporating the 'emerge' system from another operating system known as 'Debian'. You basically type 'emerge programname' from the command line and it will download all of the dependencies for you! Nifty eh?! Well I think so, but of course, I'm a complete nerd when it comes to this stuff... But oh well.
This is my desktop right now, plus the window open that I used to write this article.
Pretty great huh? Well, your opinions... keep them to yourself! Just kidding, visit our forums once SG111 stops messing them up! I TOLD YOU INVISION BOARD WOULD BE THE END OF YOU SG!!
Where did I get this notion to install Linux? Well, it came from a long time ago... A year ago, actually is when I first got knee deep into this crap. I was searching for a good server Operating System. I was hacked a while using Windows 2000, things went awry and I was pretty pissed because I had to reformat. So I tried Mandrake Linux, it was okay, but the hardware support was iffy back then and it kept messing the fuck out of my mouse. I would reccommend Red Hat Linux for any newbie. It looks beautiful, but also has great functionality! Good luck my future Linux converts!

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ERROR!
Posted 5/05/2003 by

As some of you may have noticed, the boards are experiencing some technical turbulence. Do not PANIC! AHHHHHHHH!!!! as SG111 will probably, hopefully, and magically fix them in no time. Until then, read some reviews! Play some games! Or get a job! Just kidding, jobs are for chumps!

OK, nothing to see here. Problem is fixed and I am eating Jello.-SG111

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Review: Dark Reign 2 (PC)
Posted 5/04/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Dark Reign 2 (1997)

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98
CPU: Pentium® II 233 Mhz processor
RAM: 64 MB of RAM
VIDEO: Requires DirectX 7.0a (included) or higher
AUDIO: 100% DirectX 7.0a compliant true 16-bit sound card and Drivers
HARD DRIVE: Requires 550 MB of uncompressed disk space
CD-ROM: 100% Windows 95/98 compatible Quad speed CD-ROM drive
HOMEPAGE: Dark Reign 2

PRICE: $9.99
By Pandemic and Activision
Rated T for Teen

Hey everyone! If you have played Blizzards amazingly popular StarCraft, then you have (essentially) played this game. Its a fully 3D strategy war game, set in a futuristic world (2056) where two sects of humans battle it out for galactic dominance. Wowza! Basically Earth is trash and these guys decide to move on to other worlds. "This is my world!" "No mine!" BANG! To war!

The game play is all click and drag. You don't use the keyboard at all unless you use hotkeys. The game uses all the old school strategy game "rules" such as "Use the unit that collects things to get gold and oil. Then once you have enough money use the unit that makes things to make more important and expensive buildings. Then those buildings can make better units. ETC ETC" Its all very common and at this point cliché.

The graphics in this game are still pretty frickin good even for an older game. All the character models and maps blend quite smoothly. But there is room for improvement, no doubt about that.

The games music is a tad annoying, but isn't around very much at all. The sounds in this game are EXTREMELY dull. Except for the sounds for weather effects such as rain and thunder and things like that.

This game does have a neat feature that requires you to use the keyboard, and that is camera placement. F1-F6 are all different ranges that the camera can get. From really close up, as in almost third person (F1) to really far away, as in top-down (F6). And then 2,4,6, and 8 on your number pad will change the direction the camera faces (North, East, South, and West). So the camera is almost totally in your control.

The game comes with its own level builder, which is cool. But the level builder itself is tough to navigate, not to mention find. In order to get the level builder you have to edit the command line for the shortcut to the game. Its easy enough to do, but you have to dig through the on CD manual or online in order to find out the damn coding. So here it is for you computer savvy: -cmd:"gamegod.studiomode 1;sys.runcode studio" ***Pretty dumb eh?

One more thing, this games single player campaign is easy as hell. So make sure you have some fun with a friend online for the real challenge. Online games are not very common as this game was never really popular, so you're going to have to get a copy for yourself and the people you pay to be your friends.

Overall I gave the game a 70/100
"But why so low Tom?"
-Audio is not good at all.
-Very cliché strategy game.
-Single player is WAY too easy.

"But why so high Tom?"
-Graphics are still very good.
-Camera angle galore!
-Fun when online.

Good for: 10 hours of gameplay

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Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Movie)
Posted 5/03/2003 by

Genre: Fantasy, fictional adventure thing?
Year: 2002/2003

Well, just about 15 minutes ago I finally got the chance to watch the second Harry Potter movie. Now, after seeing the first I was a little disappointed (maybe it was just the excess of really young kids), and wasn't particularly looking forward (although I had heard some good things about the book from Tom's Post in the forums). Anyway, although the beginning was a little dry, I found myself impressed with this beast, so have written this review.

As far as acting goes, it was definitely a step up from the last. I mean, there probably wasn't much change in the actual acting skills, but since the actors were a little older (and both looked and sounded it), they seemed to fit their roles better as heroes, while still maintaining the whole child-like effect.

Also, that Snape guy (Alan Rickman) still seems like the bad guy, even though you know he's not. Then there's the gamekeeper (forget his name), who also seems like he's up to something. Anywho, point is that the acting is good.

Also, I found that the movie itself was somewhat comical (it may be my immaturity, as my brothers looked at me oddly when I laughed at certain parts). Parts such as when the end guy talks about wanting a name he "knew people would fear one day". Now, I won't reveal his name (as it's a spoiler), but it is funny (and ironic) that the last name he chose would come to be feared. There was also some other funny stuff, but I'm trying to keep this review shorter, so I won't delve into the details. By the way, I completely agree with SG that the little freaky "elf" guy is really freaky looking. (see Tom's post).

And finally, I must say that aside from Lord of the Rings, that's the longest movie I've ever been able to sit through and still be entertained. It really was good, and I think I might actually go out and read a couple of the books.

Overall score: 7/10

Good Points:
-Older characters are more enjoyable
-Kinda funny
-More action

Bad Points:
-Seemed like something was missing
-British accents from kids for 2 1/2 hours? *shudders* (No offense to the British)

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Happy Anti-Graal Day!!!
Posted 5/01/2003 by

Holy Friggin Cow GuY! Can this be true? Have we been without the Soundoff and the Anti-Graal movement for a whole year now??? Has it really been just Twelve months since I shut down SG111's Soundoff and effectively killed Anti-Graal?? I guess so! The next question is what we should do about it! I know, lets do one of those WHAT IF... articles that sets up various scenarios of things that COULD of happened!!

SCENARIO I - Anti-Graal Wins after Viper's DDoS attack
Dateline April 20th, 2002 - After an extremely heated "h4x0r 4tt4xz0r" Anti-Graal commando Viper has been most victorious and used TOP SECRET NINJA ATTACK PATTERN DELTA to remotely explode all of Linux Cyberjoueur's computers!!! Shortly thereafter, UNIXMAD recalled his French heritage and promptly surrendered. Unfortunately, Viper was killed just moments later when a mob of angry AOL 12 year olds burned down his "secret mountain lair" for destroying their "Awesome Stats". When contacted for comment, SG111 of "Team Soundoff" stated "Now that Graal is dead we can finally unveil our plans for the New World Order and make everyone play First Star Online".

SCENARIO II - I ran out of ideas so there is no 2nd scenario
But that is OK though as now we can discuss what has changed in the past year!!

Graal Online - Graal Online has continued to expand and claims to have thousands of paying customers. Many people opted to give in and at least purchase a basic account where they could continue to play the classic server.

Stefan Knorr - Stefan continues to develop Graal and apparently has a team of coders to now help him. He has continued to stay out of the spotlight and allows his "life partner" to be seen is the figurehead of the company.

Unixmad - He is still French and ruini.. erm running Graal. 'nuff said.

And now for the official Celebration!! In honor of Anti-Graal day I have opened the archives of the Soundoff for all to see. You can check it out right here. (Of course, the forums are not available but all other features are online including THE MYSTICAL UNIXMAD HEAD, and Bizarro Graal!! Be sure to check it out and have a great HAPPY ANTI-GRAAL DAY!!!

Link of the Moment - The Stefan and Unixmad Dance

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Review of Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire
Posted 4/29/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire
HOMEPAGE: http://pokemon.com
PRICE: $30.00 (USD) (when I bought it)By Nintendo
Rated E for Everyone

Okay, I'm going to admit. I am a Pokémaniac sometimes, it really depends on the season. Whenever a new Pokémon game comes out, I rush to get my hands on it. The tradition was no different when I purchased Ruby. Now, before you make up your mind on whether you are going to buy it or not based on the reviews by EGM or another largely read magazine, I want you to disregard those completely. Those spoiled people play games for a living and you have to admit that they are a little jaded when they always get to play every single game for every single system! So they decide to rag on Pokémon being the same thing that they played in Red/Blue/Yellow/Gold/Silver/Crystal. They bitch and moan about the concepts not changing or the gameplay getting stale. Sure! Yeah, it's getting stale because you play RPGs every single day of the week. I found the old, comforting game mechanics refreshing since I haven't played my copy of Pokémon Silver in something like months. (Which is outrageous, considering I used to play it everyday. Don't let them fool you, Nintendo has improved the game considerably and the graphics may not be up to standards with something like Golden Sun, but they get the job done. The trails in the sand and reflections are nifty little effect that adds a little dimension to the game. Not earth-shattering, but hey, the graphics are not why I play this game. The Pokémon have been completely revamped and it seems like the developers started from scratch. Which you have to do too because of the lack to link to your older Pokémon games. Most Pokémon that you catch in the wild are completely different than the previous games and only a little while later will you see some familiar faces like Oddish or Sandshrew. This is what Pokémon should be, the towns in the country of Hoenn are extremely varied. Gone are the days when you would wander into a town that looks exactly the same as the previous one. Rustboro Town has a nice little beach below it, a town exists in the midst of a volcano, and of course there is an island town that has that nifty sand trail effect in it. Now, onto my favorite part of the game. Secret Bases! These things are the greatest! There are tons of little holes that you can use the move Secret Power with to open them and you can make your own hideout in. You can then decorate the base with things you buy or find. You can also trade records with other people so your world will be populated with their base. Pretty great huh? Anoter cool aspect of Ruby/Sapphire is the whole berry/tree growing system. In Pokémon Silver/Gold, when you picked a berry it went into your pack and the tree you picked it off would grow more berries within a day. This is definately not the case with Ruby/Sapphire. You have to replant a berry that you swiped and then continue to water it! It's kind of a chore, but the reward is much better than just a healing power that you can give to your Pokémon, you can use the berry blender to make blocks that will increase your chances at winning the Pokémon Beauty Contest! I get kind of addicted to that thing! In it, you have to impress the judge with the current set of moves/attacks assigned to your Pokémon. Ahhh... good fun. So much depth has been added to this game that I feel like slapping those who bring it down. This game is addicting on so many levels, so if you have one of those mighty GBAs or GBA SPs then do yourself a favor and pick this game up and don't do drugs.

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New Nacho vs Ninja Comic!! Posted 4/26/2003 by
As if we weren't already lame enough, the newest Nachos vs Ninjas comic is available. What the hell is this you may ask?? Only the lamest web comic this side of the Pecos!! Whats that? Where is chapter One? Well if you have the guts to stand it you can find it here!! Link of the Moment asksnoop.com Comment on this post in our forums.

Review: "Deadly Dozen: Pacific Theatre"
Posted 4/24/2003 by

Product Name: Deadly Dozen: Pacific Theatre
Platform: PC

Minimum System Requirements:
Operating System: Windows 98 or higher
CPU: Pentium II 550MHz or higher (recommended Pentium III 900MHz or higher, because it runs really crappily on a 550... trust me)
RAM: 128 MB
Hard Drive: 650MB Free
Video: 16MB TNT2-class video card (32MB - 128MB VRAM recommended)
Sound: Windows compatible sound card
Multiplayer: Internet (Gamespy) and LAN play supported.

Other Info:
Homepage:Deadly Dozen: Pacific Theatre
Price:$30 Canadian, $20 USD
Publisher: Infogrames
Rating: Teen

Hey everyone, it's me again, and this time I'm reviewing a game I got for Christmas just this past year: Deadly Dozen: Pacific Theatre. When I opened the box for this beast, the first thing that popped into my mind was "Rainbow Six", just because of the whole commando style of the game. Now, not only is this game similar to rainbow six, but I also found that it was quite a bit cooler as well. Let me elaborate...

The graphics for this game are, by any standard, pretty decent, if not good. For a 2002 game, it does a pretty good job of keeping up with the standard for today, even though I had to turn off some features to get it to run smoothly (ok... more smoothly than it did) on my 550MHz garbage pile. Anyway, although some elements can be flat and look a bit out of place, the general graphics quality is good. The terrain is quite detailed, and the characters and weapons themselves are nicely done.

The gameplay itself is very realistic, and getting shot in certain areas will make much more difference than others, similar to Rainbow Six. The difference between the games is that you can heal the damage done to you or your team by using First Aid Kits. Which brings me to my next point: Your team. When you start a mission you are first required to select a team of 4 members, which you can switch between throughout the mission. Each member has certain skills, and will be better (or worse) at something than someone else. Once you assemble your team, you just set them up with weapons and supplies (Grenades, ammo, first aid kits, lockpicking kits, etc.). Inside the mission, you can use the keys 1-4 (or whatever hotkey you decide to change it to) to switch between team members to swap supplies or to gain access to a different gun (One tip: always bring a sniper rifle with someone).

Stealth also plays an important part of the game, and you will have to master it in order to get through the missions with all (or at least one) of your team members alive. Even in the first mission, if you're not careful of where you go and how you get there, you could get gunned down by a group of soldiers you didn't even see. And that's another thing: The AI is, for the most part, quite intelligent; watch out for them.

The sound in this game is about as good as it's gonna get for a game that isn't focused at all around sound. The gunshots, background sounds (birds, rivers, etc.), and explosions sound real, but there is rarely any music in-game. Make sure you listen caerfully to the sound, though, as you might be able to hear the enemy walking around you. If so: stop, crouch, and look around... This is PC: There's no surround sound to tell you where the enemy is, and if you don't find him first, you'll probably end up dead.

About the only complaint I have about the game is that in the first mission you are just tossed into a level and expected to know what you're doing. I spent a good half hour covering the area in front of where I started, only to realize that upon starting, you must turn around and go the other way. As well, you have no maps, or even any idea as to where your objectives are. They fail to realize that although you may be playing as elite commandos, you aren't one (unless, of course, you are).

The Final Score: 8/10
Good Points:
-Good graphics
-Realistic gameplay
-Addictive fun, even if you get frustrated.

Bad Points:
-Levels can be confusing
-No maps or explanation of what exactly you're doing aside from a simple briefing.
-The AI is sometimes too smart for their own good

Good for at least 10 hours of gameplay, if you don't give up

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Hermit Spectacular!
Posted 4/23/2003 by

Hi, I'm Questa. You might remember me from such adventures as... Oh wait! You can't remember because Sabatos' archives are screwed over! Yes, that's right. You click on the News Archives button and you can't read my beautiful posts. Where do they go? Oh off to a fantasy land where they float around in a sea of chocolate! Wow, chocolate is great right guys? ... I'm expecting dead silence right now instead of hilarity. God, my life is a joke.
(NOTE: SG111 fixed this, making my post even UNfunnier)

Anyway, today I'm here to talk to you children about an important issue that stands among such other important issues as "Where am I?" or "Why does rotten apples place exist and why does SG111 link to it?". That's right, old Questa is going to talk to you about being a hermit. Now I have to warn you people who think that having a social life is "important" and "essential to human survival" that my radical thoughts may or may not scare the bejeezus out of you. Alright, now where to begin? How about a well documented history of hermits? Sure that sounds fine, okay. Ahhh... Having an invisible audience is very cool and hermit-like.

Hermits were first created when Shakespeare went off to become a wizard after his playwright career failed. While stirring his cauldron and testing every single combination of "Newt's Eye","Testicle of Alligator", and "Eye of testicle", he realized that he was no ordinary person. He was living in a cave that was less than four metric cubits (or whatever was used back then) from the ocean! An idea was born! Many rambling, insane, and bearded people flocked to the beaches and built homes for themselves in little alcoves off of cliffs. This didn't last long before the people had started a community. Which is absurd when you are trying to be alone and isolated! The large beach full of crazies eventually grew into a country that is now known as Canada. The few remaining "true hermits" or "pure bloods" seperated from the group and found themselves in caves around the world. Shakespeare, however, had different plans for the hermits that pledged allegiance to him and then so diligently left him ... alone. Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense. You'd think that Shakespeare would be happy that they formed a community so that he could move away from it and be a true hermit once again. Nonetheless, Shakespeare prepared a laser beam that was programmed to eliminate the ones who ... abandoned... him. Now, even though there are tons of errors in this as some history teachers may say, it happened. Don't doubt me or I will go Shakespearien on your ass. Long story short, the lazer backfired, killing twenty babies and Shakespeare himself.

Anywho, I will now list some ways that YOU can become a hermit!

Discipline

First, you must have the discipline to leave everything you've ever known and loved. There is no sympathy among hermits for those who go back after a week of hermitting. A suggestion for the newbie hermit: tell your family that you're going to move to another country where you are studying some disease that kills people/furries. They'll be overjoyed and you won't ever have to talk to them again because this mystery country doesn't allow mail! Telling them that you are in the CIA also works, so you don't get a search party sent out on your newly found hermitness.
Cash and Grooming

Now, another thing you have to do to prepare for your newfound hermitness, is set your god damned affairs in order! Get a haircut because if you have long hair now, imagine what kind of inhuman piece of fur you will have on your head within a few years. Then take all of your money out of the bank/checking/Nigerian Bank account in cash form. You will need it for the monthly trip into town to buy supplies/scare the locals. (See Below)
Traps!

Traps traps traps! I can't stress that enough! If you plan on living like a pure blood hermit then you had better get some huge bear traps and nets to catch your food in. The occasional child may slip into them, but you can easily get them out and send them back to their parents easily without causing much harm besides a few broken bones! Plus, you might enjoy the company of a youngin' even if his constant wailing from the pain drives you even more insane! May God have mercy on your soul if you get the purpose of this image. Bear traps are the best because they will trap anything at anytime! Crabs and even birds! Now, bear traps may not be the best if you are on a tight budget so I would reccommend that if you are running low on cash to buy some canned food that will last a long time. It may be disgusting, but it's better than being one of those dirty "normals" right?!
Personality

Be a complete asshole/bitch when you're inquired about your lifestyle by a stray or lost tourist. Snarl at them and tell them that they should leave or you might give them Hepatitis. That'll give them a shock and send them out of there. Telling them that you're Tommy Lee might work too.
Social Rules/Conduct

DO NOT engage in social activities with hermits or non-hermits. Doing so will completely violate everything you stand for! Don't let anyone live with you or "hermit" together with you. That is wrong and sick. If you do so, the hermit gods will strike you down with their iron clasp. See, what will happen is if you are a male and decide to let a female live with you in your hermit cave, then you will be thought of as the kindly old couple that lives out by the sea. THAT IS NOT FUCKING HAPPENING! You should be feared and talked about in the local bar, not respected by the barflies. See the disasterous consequences? Okay, for example, take the old hermit in Star Wars Episode IV, Ben Kenobi. He decided to break his hermit vow and you know where he ended up? DEAD, that's where, or what, or whatever. So be careful and avoid contact with outsiders as much as possible.
Local visits

Finally, you can make regular visits to the nearest town to trim your beard or buy supplies if you're running low. Don't show your human compassion to the citizens of the town, though. For if you do, you are no longer the "crazy, scary guy who lives outside of town", but you will be "that one guy who comes in here once in a while, a little strange, but nice". If you want to be a true hermit, then you need to know how to contain your emotions. Well, I am wrong there, you can show emotions, but only the angry and bitter kind. For example, if you're angry, then you can let out a blood curdling scream in the middle of the town that will insure the citizens of your insanity. Insanity is always a good thing, remember. Also, you should only visit the town if you are in dire need of something. The more you appear in the town, the less hermit-like others think of you and subsequently, the less hermit-like you become...

Well that wraps up my absurd, and utterly retarded guide to becoming a You-know-what. Thanks goes out to Särah for inspiration to make this article. (We are hermits at heart :) )

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Review of "Amped: Freestyle Snowboarding" for the Xbox
Posted 4/22/2003 by

Product Name: Amped: Freestyle Snowboarding
Console: X-Box
Players: 1-4
Compatible with X-Box Live? No
Genre: Extreme Sports

Minimum Requirements:
Hard Drive space: Unknown (Not that it really matters anyway)

Suggested Add-ons:
At least two controllers

Other Information:
Homepage: Amped: Freestyle Snowboarding
Price: $60-80 Canadian, $40-55 USD
Published by Microsoft Game Studios
Rating: E (For Everyone)

Hey everyone, I just played my first-ever X-box game a little while ago while at my friend's house avoiding school, and this is the first game I played. Anyway, although I personally dislike the system its on, I must say that I was surprised with this game. Everything from gameplay to graphics was nice and smooth, and it made me appreciate what that huge machine can do. For the un-informed, Amped is a snowboarding game that comes packed with features, allowing you to customize everything about your player... from his hair to his boots, to the bindings s/he uses. Also, it claims to have the best graphics and gameplay of any snowboarding game so far (which it does).

When I first started in multiplayer mode with almost no explanation, I actually found that while the controller was bigger than most things I eat, everything was right where I needed it to be, and the controls were simple enough that I was able to pull off some nice combos and tricks right off the bat. However, this may just come from past experience (and mastering of) Tony Hawk 1 and 2. In fact, I'm sure of it, because the controls are pretty much the same in both games. The only difference is that here you have to use the control sticks (the left for left/right movement and the right for holding forward to go somewhere).

The game's graphics are actually very detailed. There's very little of the graphics "cutting" through one another, and the snow trails you leave stay there (in multiplayer, they stay there for the next player after your run). The snow even looks real in most parts, although there are some areas that look like they were laid on with a wood texture painted white and very light blue. As far as realism goes, this is Grade A stuff.

The music in this game is typical snowboard/skateboard game music... punk stuff that's hard and fast (or not so hard, but still fast). Microsoft claims that there are 227 tracks, "split across six soundtracks", of music, which is more than I have on my computer. Though the music is good and does tend to match the game for the most part, with that many tracks it's hard to keep everything fitting in with the feel of the game, and if you don't like that type of music, then you can always turn on the music from your hard drive, which is a good feature to have.

As far as gameplay goes, it's extremely simple. In fact, I can probably explain 90% of it in this paragraph... so I will. Basically, you hold A to crouch down to gain speed, push the right control stick forward to go forward, steer with the left control stick, jump by releasing A on a ramp/jump, and then you can perform a few types of tricks... Hold X for a Stalefish and Y for an Indie (both are grabs), then spin madly in circles or do a backflip/frontflip by pushin the left stick backward/forward (respectively) to start flipping. When you land, you can do a grind by holding B down, and continue your combo. When your done, the points you receive is equal to the points you made doing the tricks multiplied by the number of tricks in your combo, which should tell you that pulling off huge combos is the way to go. Also, you'll find little red icons with cameras in them... do a trick in front of them, and you get "media points", which are apparently used for some sort of bonus. And that's it... get to the bottom of the hill and get as many points as you can.

Now you're probably wondering about the whole "customization" thing I mentioned (you know, about the boots and stuff). Well, it's basically like this: When you start a new career, you get a very plain-looking guy standing on a snowboard, and about 6-10 options on the right-hand side. By toying with those options you can customize height, weight, hair colour, hat, outfit, and more. Once your guy looks all perfect, you press A and see another screen which looks the same, only with different options on the side. This time, you get to customize the board, your boots, bindings, and the like (which really isn't important to anything in the game, thus making it somewhat useless). Then you press A again and see about 4 more choices related to how you ride the board (switch/regular) and other fun stuff like that. And when you're finally done customizing (if you're still awake, and if the game's still on with you in the room), you finally get to play. Whoopee!

The single player mode can be fun for awhile, but it's definitely more multiplayer-oriented, and thus should probably have X-Box Live support so that you don't have to invite people that are too lazy to walk over to your house just to play the game. There's not a lot of options in multiplayer, and I didn't really spend much time exploring them, as I was wearing a uniform I hated and had to go home to change into some regular clothes. However, I did browse through the game types and found that they were quite limited... "Best Trick/Combo" and "Highest Score" are the only ones I even remember, although I think there was a race. It's a bit of a let-down to see so little out of the multiplayer, but what can you do? Nothing really, except give it this:

The final score: 7.5/10

Good Points:
-Excellent graphics
-Nice soundtrack
-Option to use your own soundtrack
-Attention to detail
-Simple, easy-to-learn controls

Bad Points:
-Too much customization! (Yes, there is such a thing, and it wastes time)
-Single player mode is only fun for about the first level or so
-Limited multiplayer options (no X-Box Live support)

Good for varied amounts of time.

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Greetings internet peoples!
Posted 4/22/2003 by

Greetings internet Lemmings, and say hello to me, the newest Sabatos member! After hanging around the forums for a couple months, and with the help of TomKane, I've been promoted from simple Internet lemming to a Sabatos reviewer (and possibly other things too!). I've even recieved a couple of awards for it (I gave them to myself), which I have taken the liberty to post pictures of here (I probably messed up on these tables but live with it).

Anyway, to celebrate my becoming a member, I have decided to post my first review, on "Amped" for the Xbox (which I personally don't like, but I was suckered into playing it while at a friend's house). Read it, and enjoy it. Otherwise, I will unleash the fury.

With all that shizzle aside, I'll be posting random jarble here and there, and you may often find that there is little or no sense to be made of any of it (Although it will make more sense than TomKane's post about the touching of himself). And, just some shameless self-promotion, I have other reviews posted at TK Emulation, and you should check them out (unless, of course, you don't want to).

Well, I'm all rambled out for today, so I will let you continue your lives.

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Sneek peek!
Posted 4/22/2003 by

Well, here's a quick list of some upcoming games!

Star Wars: Jedi Knight 3 - Xbox, PC
Onimusha 3 - PS2
Alias - PS2, Xbox, PC
Dot Hack Volume 2: Mutation - PS2
The X-Files: Resist or Serve - PS2, Xbox
Secret of Mana - Game Boy Advance
Futurama - GameCube, PS2, Xbox
SWAT: Global Strike Team - PS2, Xbox
Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel - PS2, Xbox
Amped 2 - Xbox
Postal 2 - PC
WWE Raw 2 - Xbox

And our highlight preview;
Freedom: Battle for Liberty Island - PS2, Xbox, PC
This game looks to be shaping up like something sweet! Due to release August 29th, you play as a New Yorker in an alternative world where the U.S lost the cold war and the soviets have taken over the country. You decide this is not cool and take on the Reds. As you gain fame, you gain team members, and the game will take on some squad based features but still depend on your involvment to fight. The game uses Hitmans engine (Glacier) and is looking pretty nice. Developed by IO Interactive and published by EA, this game is sure to please the smart yet violent gamer. Can't wait!

Freedom: Battle for Liberty Island

To be rated T for Teen

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Review of The Dead Zone (Movie, 1983)
Posted 4/20/2003 by

Haha! Very funny SG111. You made the news post system eat my review that I originally took the long and hard effort of writing. Now I have to rewrite it. From scratch. Anyway, the other day I went to the local Hollywood video and rented the film version of The Dead Zone. Yes, my obsession has taken me to the brink of spending money. I was pretty excited when I got it home because of the awesome cover on the DVD. The movie stars Christopher Walken as Johnny Smith and he does an excellent job portraying him. Now I can see why those FARK guys like him so much. The movie's story line closely resembles the book's story line and for that I am grateful. Liberties were of course made when they were writing the script. For instance, Johnny is out of the coma within 15 minutes. His date with Sarah Bracknell was hugely cut and only involved a roller coaster ride. They didn't even include the wheel of fortune, which was my favorite part of the book. One thing they could have shown more of was Johnny Smith's past and his parents. Johnny's mother was a much bigger character in the book than in the movie. I can't complain, I guess because the TV show doesn't have either one of the parents alive. If you have seen the show then you will notice the similarites in wardrobe and hair styling between the show and the movie.

The TV show also "borrows" some types of visions Johnny has. For instance, the book never really talks about Johnny being actually in the vision, watching it happen, but it is in both the show and the movie.Christopher Walken portrays a more of a darker Johnny Smith, which is a good thing for the film, but wouldn't be very good for a television show.
Martin Sheen also plays an eccentric and hyper Greg Stillson. He does a pretty good job of it, but I prefer the much more sinister one from the television show. The movie also intertwines Johnny and Sarah a little more after his coma, whereas the book took them apart for years at a time. Overall, I really enjoyed the experience of the movie and the actor's performances were wonderful! This just makes me more excited about watching The Dead Zone tonight(Sunday 10pm/9pmCST)! I would reccommend this to anyone who is in need of some movie action! Don't worry if you don't like horror movies because this one isn't really a horror movie so much as it is a psyochological thriller.

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The Updates Are Hot Like Bikini Wax!!!
Posted 4/19/2003 by

I'm still not sure exactly how it happened. I started my Three day weekend innocently enough. I slept in, had some snacks and prepared myself to once again NOT get a single thing done on the Internet. Next thing I know, it is 24 Hours later and I am writing about all the updates that have occured!!

First off, I better mention the hidden feature in my last post and the newest project for Team Sabatos. If you were astute enough to click on the Afro haired dude you were one of the first to find the premiere episode of Nachos vs Ninjas!! (Yes, we realize that it is only moderately humorous. But thats OK as it is no less humourous than most of the "web" comics out there!!)

Next up I uploaded not One, not Two, but THREE new downloads to the downloads page!!! I found some real useful ones this time! They include a super small webcam script, a totally sweet pop up stopper, and my personal favorite, a next generation Spyware killer!!

Now once I was done messing with all the downloads I next took a crack at updating a few new links on the links page. Some new ones to note are a new project from our very own Matriark TerVel, a few more mainstream favorites of mine, and a little Evil Cheater guY stuff just to make things spicy!!

And finally I did some upgrades to the team page. (Check out the wicked afros on the "no image available" people!!)

If the preceeding udates were not quite "hip" enough for you, there is always the Message Board, where you can find such "current" gems as the random image thread and the ever popular Funny Unixmad Dance.

Well, thats all the updating I can stand for one sitting. Be sure to check back with us soon for some most excellent reviews, news, and nachos!!

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Zone of the Dead
Posted 4/15/2003 by

My God, this show The Dead Zone has really brought a change in me. From the spirals of my homeland in Canada, my wizard mentor Marlac let me watch the channel known as "USA" every Sunday night at 9pm CST. Oh fuck it, if you want a good rant on me living in Canada with my wizard mentor, then go back a couple of articles (before Tom decided to touch himself all over the internet) and read my introduction to myself. Anyway, this show is amazing. Anthony Michael Hall does the book justice with his acting and facial features. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not questioning my sexuality here (I'm not gay, thankyou) , my obsession goes beyond the mere television series of The Dead Zone... Oh there is much more! While at my volunteering service for the library I stumbled upon the Stephen King novel and since I haven't read it yet, I decided to pick it up. I was fucking hooked the minute I got it. There was no stopping Questa in his reading when I started on this book. I had all 400 pages done within two days. Two days! Yeah, I loved the book so much because it just worked for me. It had all of my favorite elements: fate, destiny, horror, and suspense all rolled into one! "Wow, this isn't really that funny or entertaining... I'm going to leave now", you may think. Fine! Just leave then, you asshat. Not like I really care!! My obsessions must be known to the general public and this is the only way... Now, for those of you who are still reading, good. You get to go on the "good" list.

This is the good list as of now, everyone else is on the BAD LIST. So watch out (and also beware that I may have screwed up these tables horribly.)

Now... On with the show... The story to The Dead Zone is like this:
Johnny Smith is a school teacher who is dating another school teacher named Sarah Bracknell and these two are going to get married (at least in the show), but a freak car accident lands Johnny into a hospital bed in a coma for four and a half years (six in the show, why they changed this I have no idea.) and no one expects him to ever wake up again. BAM! That's exactly what he does. When he wakes up, he shows some really badass psychic powers and saves some people, the press catches on and Johnny fades away from site for a while. He ponders the meaning to his life and since his girl went off and married another guy while he was a vegetable, he has nothing really to do. He gets a lot of bad publicity that prevents him from being a teacher again so he decides to tutor a kid with a reading disability. While tutoring him privately, Johnny meets Ngo, the Vietnamese immigrant who is going on a trip to a rally for Greg Stillson to help complete his citizenship requirements (or something). Johnny tags alone and when the man known as Greg Stillson touches him, he sees Armaggeddon in a vision. Johnny passes out and when he comes to again, he starts going crazy and gains an obsession with Greg Stillson. Much like I'm obsessed with the show (ironic eh?). He finally decides he has to assasinate Greg. I am not going to spoil the ending to this one because it is awesome. I really love this book and I probably will reread it because during my blazing pace, I might have skipped over some sentances.
The show is just about the same as the book, only more drawn out and Johnny's obsession with Greg Stillson isn't as intense. The show focuses more on the things Johnny does with his visions to help others. We know that the show ending with Johnny going out to assasinate Greg isn't possible because the second season finale tells us that, so we can't read the book and guess. Overall, the show generally rocks and I can't wait for a third season! The second season is currently being played, though. So you can tune in to USA and check your local listings for The Dead Zone. (10pm EST, 9pm CST usually). Good night!

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Kickin It Old Skool Yo
Posted 4/14/2003 by

Well, while Tom Kane has been "touching himself", I have upgraded the forums to the latest version of Invision Board. So what does this mean to the average user? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! It was just a security and admin upgrade package. The upside of things is that this particular version of the message board has been alive longer than any other!! (Some of the Old skool people know what I'm talking about!) Anyway, be on the lookout for new features as well as the usual collection of pointless crap that you have come to expect from us in the weeks ahead.

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Posted 4/12/2003 by
When I think about you, I touch myself. Comment on this post in our forums.

Review of Final Fantasy VIII (PC)
Posted 4/12/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Final Fantasy VIII

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Win 95/98/ME/2000/XP
CPU: Pentium II 400 MHZ
RAM: 128MB recommended
VIDEO: 3D Accel. graphics card not required. Though recommended
AUDIO: Windows compatible sound card
HARD DRIVE: 60MB for minimum install 700MB for maximum
HOMEPAGE: None
NOTE: This game has also been released for the PlayStation

PRICE: $40.00 (when I bought it)By Squaresoft
Rated T for Teen

Ok, let me start of with this review by saying that I LOVE the "classic" Final Fantasies. You know the ones I'm talking about right? The ones where the views were top down and we didn't have fucking five hour Guardian Force animations. Those were my favorites, who can forget traveling under the sand in Edgar's movable castle in Final Fantasy III (aka Final Fantasy VI, but don't get me started on that mess of Japanese/English versions), or the emotional tyranny of the poorly (and I mean POORLY) translated Final Fantasy II (aka Final Fantasy IV). I know I can't. Final Fantasy V was good too when it was released for the Playstation in the anthologies collection, but I am straying away from the point here. Final Fantasy VIII takes all the visuals from the previous Final Fantasy (including VII), and literally rips them apart and shoves its giant cigar in them, burning them to a crisp, while its two year old little boy asks why his daddy smokes those cigars so much and to which he replies "Well, you see, when I want to start something from scratch, I usually burn the original stuff with my magic deathsticks." No one can argue with logic like that. Don't even try, you egotistical pussy. Anyway, the whole style of Final Fantasy changed with this one game and now instead of being loving, little people who are freakishly tall and are as tall as doors and lucifer himself, they are now average sized people with huge detail in their facial expressions. Now don't get me wrong with all the blabbering about the cigar and such because I think Squall is a complete monster (in a good, Styx type of way) with his revolver and clothes. The gameplay is still almost the same as VII except with the addition of new and confusing things such as junctioning. Gone are the days when we could just level up our character and kick the shit out of all bosses because now we have to junction magic this way and that turning this into some kind of highly advanced government. A government where you have to assign magic and Guardian Forces to each member of the senate and make it optimal! That's one thing that irks me, if anything. I think I get the gist of it, so unless Squall pops out of my screen in a very horrormovie-like way and tells me I am a complete moron for giving him Shiva instead of Ifirit, I should be fine. The PC version does have some glitches that needed to be cleared up with my hot Geforce II MX 400 (yeah hot in 2001, Questa) so I had to scour the internet for the patch and finally downloaded it so the prerendered backgrounds didn't look like someone used their freakishly long nails and scraped them across the paintings... I should probably upload that patch, just in case you saps stumble upon FFVIII in a bargain bin. Which isn't likely, due to the filmsy cardboard case that always seems to want to dump all five CDs (YES THERE IS FIVE FOR THE COMPUTER BECAUSE THERE IS A SEPERATE INSTALL DISC. god damn) when you tilt it 4 degrees. blah blah, yeah, story is good too, blah blah. I'm tired of typing. Thank you for your time, Apes.

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Nachos ruin the brain!
Posted 4/10/2003 by

What is all this King Nacho buisness? Does he not see that we Ninja will never allow such a foul creature to take over the world? WE WILL CUT ALL NACHOS! And then feast on their cheesey blood! Ninji are much more superior class of beings! I could kill all of you WITH A SPOON! Your grandmothers are not even safe when King Nacho is around... HE IS A BAD GUY! Will you let a bad guy be king? OF COURSE NOT!!! Rise against these Nacho fools! You all know the facts now! DOWN WITH THE NACHOS! Can you eat a snack that has legs and can talk? NO YOU CANT! Oh you think you can? I WILL KILL YOU! It is like the time I bought a candy bar at the store, and the lady touched my hand, SO I CUT OFF HER HEAD! AND THEN SLICED UP THE ENTIRE TOWN!
You can not be a ninja, but you can be alive. CHOOSE WISELEY! Nachos? Who are good with some Pepsi. OR NINJAS? Who kick ass at everything! EVEN CRIBBAGE!

DO not be deceived by this Nacho KING! What is he King of? KING OF POOP!!!!

This message has been brought to you by ME N!NJA!!!!

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Review: Red Faction
Posted 4/10/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Red Faction

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Win 95/98
CPU: Pentium II 400 MHZ (although I'm running it on a Pentium II 266 MHZ)
RAM: 64MB
VIDEO: 3D Accel. graphics card
AUDIO: Windows compatible sound card
HARD DRIVE: 1 GB for full install
HOMEPAGE: Red Faction
NOTE: This game has also been released for the PlayStation2 and MacOS

PRICE: $9.99
By Volition and THQ
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! I bought this game from everyone's favorite store; Wal-Mart. It was on the 10 dollar bargain rack at the PC game section. Where I buy all the games that can actually run on my computer.
This game was a pretty big deal when it came out in 2000 (I think it was 2000, I lost this games CD Gem (case) and have no clue). Why was it a big deal? First of all the engine that was used in Red Faction was brand new and never before seen. You can blow up walls in this game, or even the dirt floor, and actually DIG a path to places (granted you have enough explosives). It also has one of the best glass shattering animation around.

You play as Parker, a man from Earth who decides that joining the Red Faction mining group on Mars would be a good way to go. But a month after you get there you get the feeling that its no longer a job, but you are more like slave. You are constantly on watch by the Ultor Guards and they don't hesitate to kill anyone not living up to their digging potential. What makes matters worse is there's a strange disease that is killing off the miners, and the bodies are quickly shuffled away by the perfectly healthy guards. On a normal slave drive/digging endeavor you find that your friend feels the need to go to lunch early, the guard tries to stop him, so he kills the guard and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Rioting in the Martian mines explodes and the Red Faction starts a revolution. Pretty sweet eh?

The games graphics, although dated by today's standards, are really something. They have a really crisp quality to them which everyone takes notice to.

The audio in this game is amazing. The gun sound effects are really original and sound so good, I thought I had been shot the first time I heard sniper fire. I screamed for Mommy and began crying. Then I stopped and continued to play. The music is something that requires some work, but since it barely comes up during gameplay, you cant really complain.

The gameplay is that of any other first person shooter. Shoot people, blow people up, and try not to die. But it also has the added bonus of blowing up walls and digging down deep. You have to play the game to get what I'm talking about. You can also drive different vehicles, such as a Jeep type vehicle, a submarine, and a large drilling truck.

The game also has a TON of mods and levels to download due to the incredible editor that comes with it called "RED", its so easy, my two year old nephew crapped in his diaper. I don't know if that was "RED" related or not, but he did people, oh he did.

This game also supports online play, and is fun for awhile, but people easily hack the crap out of the game.

Overall I gave the game a 87/100
"But why so low Tom?"
- Music needs a definite boost
- Levels tend to be kind of boring
- Dammed hackers! Just let me play in peace!

"But why so high Tom?"
- RED engine is something to look foreword too
- Graphics are STILL pretty good
- Sounds are simply perfect

Good for: 15 hours of gameplay

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Welcome Future Apes
Posted 4/09/2003 by

Greetings fellow Sabatians. My name is Questa and I will be here to pleasure every single sense that is allowable by the rules of the moon. You will be able to get a good taste of my insanity every once in a while and it's an addicting taste, believe me. First let me start off by telling about myself. When I was a young babe, my mother dropped me into a river and I rode my baby basket until I reached the ends of mother earth (by mother, I mean father) . There I was raised by an evil sorcerer named "Marlac" the great. He taught me everything I needed to know about humor sites and their popularity among the masses. Day in and day out, training with wild packs of wolves, hours upon hours of reruns of Jerry Springer and I was finally ready. Marlac said to me, "Questa, you will now go forth and dominate all land in the way of Online Humor. You must search out the man known as Space Ghost 111, he will show you the rest of the way!". I nodded with certainty, oh yes, this will be a day to remember. Set your calenders to stun because Questa's on the Sabatos team! *AND THE CROWD GOES WILD*.Anyway, continuing with my story... Marlac sent me out the door with little provisions and I said to him
"Thank you master, for you have taught me how to be a seasoned smartass",
"Yes, now stop jerking off and get going, pansy. Space Ghost doesn't have all day you know... Oh I can't stay mad at you"
We embraced and I walked through the blistering cold. The nights were long and hard. The ends of father earth are more specifically named "Canada". I wandered through this inhumanly cold country until I reached a tiny icefishing town called "Ontario". There I was amazed at all the things I had missed while growing up. Icefishing, mainly. I met some cool guys there and we ice fished and drank until the break of dawn and I continued on with my quest to find Space Ghost 111. I heard he lived down in the devil country (or so the Canadians said) known as the United States of America. Public nudity and icefishing are both illegal down there, or so I hear. I wandered into this treachorus land until I met up with someone named Tom Kane and he showed me the rest of the way. We arrived at SG111's house soon after. (I honestly don't believe it was soon because I think Tom knocked me unconcious and drug me the way, though he denies it.) When SG111 saw me, I think he was a little put off by my necklace made of sharkteeth and my "Fierce In Your face" attitude. He immediately bowed (my appearance caused this perhaps? Who knows?) and handed me the key to the internet. Where I took my throne as the king of all the internet!
Alright that's enough of that half assed written bullshit. If you can't tell, I was starved for ideas for an opening statement. I've been around for a couple of years and I finally get some recognizition from SG111. I started going to the Sound Off forums back in 2001 and just kind of hung out with that odd bunch. Seriously, all they talked about was bringing down an online game... I eventually got sick of it and left. Pretty soon, when Sabatos.net opened its doors (August 2002 I think) I flew in and waited for that crazy community to reunite in the forums. We did and it was grand, until SG111 was stupid and didn't back up the mysql database for the forums... We lost everything in a hard drive crash and are now using INVISION BOARD AKA Lucifer's Forum. I HATE everything about Invision board and I hope the people who made it get a plague of some sort that involves ants crawling out of the computers used to program it and sucking on their succulent blood until they are husks of human beings (which they almost already are, if they made that shit). Well, wish me luck everyone (all 10 people who read this site)! And God Bless! (I saw some punk ass guy say that to a detective on a cop/murder show last night as he ripped up the detective's card, so AWESOME!)

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Back Again....
Posted 4/09/2003 by

Greetings friends and thanks again for being patient while I fixed the site. It appears that that my upstream provider either changed hosts again or said upstream provider changed some server settings. The bottom line was that the server did not like the way I coded all the snazzy includes and left damn near every page with errors. (The workaround I'm using just eliminates any Perl script includes and replaces "virtual" with "include".) And yes, I am as annoyed with the downtime as you are!!

Anyway, we will be without a poll and the "number of people online" for a while as well as downloads and the archives. (Yes, I will get it working again as soon as I make my next announcement!)

The time has come, for a major overhaul of Sabatos Network. The site will recieve a new back end news management system as well as a pretty facelift!! The replacement news management system will be more robust than our current offering. It will allow the reviews to be archived properly and easily searched. (Yes, I AM exited by it!!) But with the facelift I also rexpect to see some possible changes to the actual content of the site. and thats where I need some help. I am seeking suggestions as to what other features you would like to see in the site. (Sorry, Anti-Graal's resurgence is not a part of the planned upgrades.)

The time line is still in the air, but I would imagine you might see some new things around the beginning of summer. So turn in your feedback and let me know what you think!!

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Review: Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
Posted 4/02/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
For the PlayStation 2 game console.
For 1-2 players.

HOMEPAGE: Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven

PRICE: $49.99
By K2 and Activision
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! I bought this sweet game at my local GameStop for 50 bucks, and I'm so glad I did. For anyone who knows me, knows that me paying 50 bucks for a game says a lot for that game because I'm such a cheap prick. I stumbled upon this series of games in a trade with a friend of mine (One N64 game for 8 PS1 games, the fool). In that batch of 8 games I received a copy of Tenchu 2, and have been a fan ever since. Although Tenchu 2's graphics were horrible, and the controls needed work, it was without a doubt (at the time) the best Ninja game I had ever played. Then comes Tenchu 3: Wrath of Heaven. Everything that Tenchu 2 lacked at, Tenchu 3 has made a grand attempt at fixing. And has done so.

This game is for any Tenchu fan, or Ninja freak that exists with a PS2 in their arsenal. You play as two characters from the originals, Rikimaru and Ayame. But there is also a new character to play as once you unlock him. Not only do you unlock this extra character, but you also unlock more multiplayer levels, versus/fighting mode characters, and Ninja abilities to use in Single and Multiplayer modes (such as Cling to Ceiling, Ninja Sniper Sight, Mind Control, and more). There are two multiplayer modes to choose from, versus (fighting) and co-op. In the co-op you can perform simultaneous stealth kills! What do I mean? Read on!

The graphics in this game are freaking awesome. It only receives deductions because of its lack of lighting/shadow effects, but not all games NEED that to be good games.

The sounds in this game are great, they have a nice depiction of a blade slicing through someone's flesh or in some cases, cracking through their skull.

The story is one serious problem. It definitely lost something in the translation, because it barely makes sense at all, and probably WONT make sense at all if you haven't played the originals.

The game has what are called stealth kills; when you sneak up on someone and attack them it changes the camera angle, and gives you a more cinematic view of your kill. Whether it be slicing his/her throat, breaking his/her neck, or jamming your sword strait through his/her skull. Either way, it is some of the most satisfying (and violent) kills you can perform. And in 2 player modes there a few more stealth kills you can perform, as long as you stealth kill someone when your partner is close by. And everytime you pull off a stealth kill you get a blue Japanese symbol, after collecting 9 symbols, you get a new Ninja ability. And these ability's are at your disposal for single and multiplayer for the rest of your life! As long as you save it.

Aside from minor graphical deductions, I also have to deduct points for the confusing level layouts. I got lost more times than I can count... well... I never got past the third grade. But I got lost a lot! And the map wasn't much help either!

Like I state you play as (eventually) three people in the single player mode. Each with 10 of their own unique missions, and each mission with 3 layouts, gives you a total of 90 mission layouts to be played. That may seem like a lot, and it is, but I said missions, NOT levels. There are only 10 levels, each with 3 layouts, but each character does different objectives on those levels. Hard to explain, but if you follow me, you're more intelligent than you look.

Overall I gave the game a 94/100

"But why so low Tom?"
-Minor graphical touches would have made a big improvement.
-Confusing level layouts, with a useless map.

"But why so high Tom?"
-Ninjas rock!
-Very satisfying stealth kills
- http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Good for: 30 or so hours of stealth Ninja mayhem!

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April Fool Jollies... Posted 4/01/2003 by
Well, as many of you immediately figured out, the "legal threats" from Wal-Mart were just a lame attempt at April Fools jollies!! (But I am sure that one day I will have to face up to the boys in Bentonville for what I write!) Enjoy the rest of your evening with the knowledge that Sabatos Network is safe and sound!! Comment on this post in our forums.

"Quote of the Moment" Posted 3/31/2003 by
Hopefully the late night host pattern will break soon. If you have a funny, clever, or interesting quote, post it in the forums. Comment on this post in our forums.

For The Record...
Posted 3/23/2003 by

Just in case there is any confusion. I am NOT affiliated with nor personally approve of the current group of people who are calling themselves "Team-SoundOff". I gave up on Graal Online almost a a year ago and have little desire to fight against somthing so insignificant.

And for the even less informed, my online moniker of SG111 is NOT the same thing as Anti-Graal. (Or any Anti-Graal activities for that matter.) It is just the name that I use on the internet. Once again, my Graal playing and protesting days are over. It is a silly game, and not worth the effort to either pay for OR protest!!

Thank you.

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WJoD: Attack of the Cat Ladies!!!!
Posted 3/21/2003 by

Cat Ladies! Every town has at least one of them. You know who I'm talking about. They usually sport some type of facial hair and smell like a crack addicts litter box/stash. Well my latest workplace has just such a person who comes in faithfully at least once per week. The associates in the store were strangely silent about this particular breed of customer until she was upon us this past Wednesday night!!

As usual, it started out innocently enough. I was making the rounds through the store making sure the isles were being straightened up properly. I came up to the sporting goods counter and began visiting with the associate there. A few seconds later I whiffed up a strange smell. I commented to him that it smelled like wet hay or straw and he suddenly grabs me and whispers in a hushed voice; "SHHHHHHHH!! Its the CAT LADY!! Be very quiet and she won't notice you!!" I laughed at him and let him know that I had encountered many cat ladies over the years and that my experience working on my Grandfather's hog farm growing up had prepared me for all manner of vile odors. Well sure enough, this exchange attracted the attention of said Cat Lady and she begins to head in my direction. She of course asks me for assistance so I end up helping her locate several items in the neighboring pet food isle!! Now I HAD worked several summers on my Grandfather's and Uncle's hog farm operations and I DID know how to handle most noxious fumes. But all of the training in the world could not have prepared me for the nasal onslaught that I endured!! This chick was FRIGGIN RIPE!! I avoided breathing through my nose as much as possible, and held back the gag reflex so I would not hurl all over the place. I got her questions answered as quickly as possible and lit off away from here as soon as it was prudent. As I rounded the corner my Co-Manager and several associates began to roll with laughter. THEY HAD SET ME UP!! They knew her ways and used it as an opportunity to "break me in". (I found out later that it is a bit of a tradition to do this to any new manager who comes to this store.)

TODAY'S LESSON: When in doubt, don't breath through your nose!!

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"Quote of the Moment" Posted 3/18/2003 by
This may be a new thing that I will keep going, or it may die a painful and terrible death. Either way, enjoy my "Quote of the Moment". Comment on this post in our forums.

Why Ninjas Are Still Be Sucking!!!!
Posted 3/10/2003 by

Stupid Ninjas!! STUPID, STUPID, NINJAS!! DUMB NINJAS WILL FALL FOR "SECRET TRAP" And DIE!!! I Am beings KING NACHO and if you are not aware I ams soon to be RULING YOU ALL!! Do not be making mistaken!!! IT TRUE!! (as fortold by Nostradameus) ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME??!! YOU WILL NOT HAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT ME PERSON WHO IS NOT KING NACHO!! The NINJAS are tried to defeat me but it will not have been happened!! They were thinkering that they were smarty guYs and be snucked up on me and and JUNIOR NACHO. But we were not fooled. We hid and destroyed STUPID NINJAS WITH SECRET ATTACKK!!! (Now who is laughed the last humored!!)

NINJAS ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID!!!! I will be explained now to you.

1) Ninjas are thinking that they are all that. (BUT THEY ARE NOT!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!)

2) NINjas are tried to hurt KING NACHO. (THIS IS IMPOSSIBLED TO BE DOING!!)

3) The question is moot!! (K.N.W.R.Y.A.)

The friends of STOOOPID NINJAS will be sayings now that KING NACHO AND FRIENDS ARE NOT HONORABLE AND HAVE HEAD HERPES BUT IT IS NOT TRUE!!! You must be listening to all sided story or you being had like water buffalo in desert mudsand!!

I have almost done talked now so I will be thankfullness that SG111 has given place to tell ALL SIDE OF STORIES!!

Oh yes, and be remembered very much that KING NACHO WILL RULE YOU ALL!!!!

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Shaolin Soccer Is The Shizzle!!
Posted 3/05/2003 by

I was grabbing a coffee in the Radio Grill of my store today when I caught a preview on the big screen TV. What I saw had me in stitches!! What could possibly cause me to burst into spontanious laughter? A little preview for a movie called Shaolin Soccer!! This thing has action, comedy, and wiggity wiggity wack ninja style action!! The only thing it seems to lack is a healthy order of nachos!! I found the same trailer I saw today on line. You can find it here. (The clip is in quicktime format.)

Check it out as it has to be the coolest thing I have seen in ages!!

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Review: "Out of This World"
Posted 3/01/2003 by

Game_specs: Release Date: 1991
Developed by: Delphine Software
Published by: Interplay
Number of Players: One
Platform: PC, Amiga, SNES, 3DO, Sega CD

Todays guest reviewer: Dart Zaidyer

Way back in 1992 we bought the "Interplay's 10 year Anniversary" disc for the computer, containing many PC games to play that had been all the best sellers. The coolest and most robust out of all these games was, to me, "Out of This World".

As the story goes, Lester Knight Chaykin, a scientist with a taste for ferraris and pizza, arrives at his underground lab late at night to conduct an experiment with his Particle Accelerator in order to create anti-matter. However, a storm quickly brews while he configures the accelerator with his trusty 3d DOS-based computer display, and just as it reaches critical mass, lightning directly strikes the accelerator, transfers into the track, and comes right out of the wall in front of Lester, engulfing him and his entire workstation in a burst of energy, leaving behind an electrified crater.
The game begins here.

You materialize in a deep pool, and you have to swim for it before you're grabbed by the deadly tentacles living down below. When you reach the surface, you find an amazing, exotic world... That you'll quickly realize is out to friggin' kill you. If it's not the toxic leeches, or the cave monsters, or the very forces of nature, it's the fact that Lester is truly a mere man, only being able to walk, run, hop a little, kick things, and shoot left or right. (This game is like the ancestor of Flashback.) One hit will fry Lester to the bone, if he's not being eaten or poisoned or smashed or impaled, etc. It is because of this, as well as the atmosphere of the whole game, that makes you truly feel like you're out of place on a planet that doesn't want you.

Aiding Lester on his journey would be perhaps the only denizen of this planet who DOESN'T want him dead: His cellmate. Yes, Lester is quickly captured by the strong, gray people of this planet and thrown in a cage, presumably as a slave of some sort. In fact, this buddy of yours is the star of the only sequel to Out of This World, which details HIS side of the story when he and Lester split up for a while. But that's another review, and a harder find...

The first thing you'll notice in this game is that the graphics are extremely sparse. You'll quickly presume this could have been done on an NES. ...That is, until you see Lester walk into his laboratory for the first time. You see, this game actually uses primitive polygons to draw the characters. The models are as basic as they can get, yet they look totally convincing in the complementing world graphics. (I have seen some versions of this game where the graphics are beefed up considerably, but it destroys the mood of the game and makes the polygon-driven characters look out of place.) And did I mention cutscenes galore?

The music is also excellent by way of the fact that it's barely there. Most of the time there will be NO soundtrack, just the environment. However, when there is music, (Which is played directly off the disc) it truly sounds otherworldly. (Especially the title and ending credits.) Unfortunately it IS remixed and always present on the SNES. I have played the 3DO version of this game, and while it keeps the great music, it adds more for every situation. Bad call.

Great art only needs to show you it's greatness, not tell you about it. That's what this game does. There is NO dialogue, save for the few times your buddy speaks an alien phrase or you get chewed out by an angry guard. (Or kick one in the nads, drop something heavy on one, etc) There is no text either once you get zapped away from your lab. It's also because of this that the game gets it's enormous challenge... Be prepared to spend lots of time figuring out puzzles, killing guards before they kill you, and dying. Lots of dying. But hey, the environments are pretty, and extremely puzzle-filled and challenging for their small size.

Bottom line: This game is art. ESPECIALLY in it's own time. That earns it a perfect ten.
It might be hard to find anymore, especially the glorious PC version. (If you have a choice, get that one, but be prepared for some system finagling to get it to like your sound card. Any other port of this game is squarely crippled in some fashion or another.)
Lester never did get back to Earth, nor did he get a proper sequel. But his legacy is as simple as it is brilliant.

Rating: 10

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Review: Deus Ex
Posted 2/23/2003 by

Review:
Product name: Deus Ex (PC), Deus Ex: The Conspiracy (PS2)

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
A decent PC or, in my case, a PS2.
HOMEPAGE: DeusEx.com

PRICE: $20.00
By Eidos and ION Storm
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! This game is my new addiction that I won't be able to kick for awhile. It's a First Person Shooter (FPS) that is entwined with a lot of Role Playing Game (RPG) elements and an excellent story line.

You play as JC Denton, a man that was "made" by a government organization to work for the Anti-Terrorist group UNATCO sometime in the future. JC is not only a man, he's a man with about 1 trillion nano-bots (small robots inside his body) that allow him to do miraculous things. He's faster than a normal human being, stronger, smarter, and in most cases... cooler.

This game has a pretty big Matrix influence, but don't be looking for slow-time unless you cheat on the PC version (I also hear there's a Matrix mode on the PC that turns all the textures into Matrix code). Don't get me wrong, the PS2 and PC versions are the same, but with the PC version you get some cool cheats and other bits and pieces that you can't get on the PS2. But the overall main game is the same.

Now to get back to the RPG elements, I say that because of its impressive story line, character upgrading (remember the nano bots?), lockpicking, weapon upgrades, hacking, bypassing controls (rather than learning the key-code), a money system, learning skills (with the use of "skill points"), and the greatest thing of all... 600 points of story modification. That's right, you can change the story in a subtle, or big way, over 600 times. In a FPS, that's CRAZY! Also this game lets you explore cities of the future, cities such as New York, Hong Kong, and more.

The game is one of the first non-linear story based games. Which means you can kill the guy then sneak under the stairs, or avoid the guy and crawl into the ventilation duct, or run through shooting everything that moves. There are so many chances to explore and avoid contact, that the game promotes stealth. One of the first FPS's to do so.

Now since this is a FPS, it comes with an assortment of sweet weapons! From a silenced pistol, to plasma cannon, to melee weapons like swords, knives, battons. This game has a bunch of lethal, and non-lethal weapons alike. Also the range weapons (pistols, rifles, rocket launchers) can be upgraded with weapon modifications. Some can be silenced, increase range, increase clip size, increase accuracy, increase reload time, decrease the weapons recoil. It's all very cool.

The game also comes with a skills system, you earn "skill points" that you can put into upgrading your character in different areas. Such as lockpicking, swimming, computers, melee weapons, heavy weapons, rifles, and more! Your character also has what's called "augmentations". These are upgrades using your nano-bots. Things like regeneration of health, energy shield, combat strength, and more. All of which use up you bioelectric cells. Which you can replenesh with the right item, or finding a repair robot (there are also health robots too).

Now you'll be killing plenty of bad guys, for sure. But you'll also meet up with many non-bad guys too. People you can converse with, buy stuff from, and pump information out of. Or pump full of lead for your own disgusting pleasure (like I did). This doesn't just happen once, it happens A LOT. Making the feel of the game unlike any other FPS I've ever played. Also giving you the chance to score extra "skill points" by talking to the right person and getting an objective.

RAMBLE: Since this game IS the future and all, you'll be spending a good amount of time on computers as well, reading other peoples e-mail for information, reading your own e-mail to catch up, or hacking the system and getting an important data file. Don't have the key? That's OK! Use a lockpick or two! Don't have a lockpick? That's OK! Use an explosive or two! Don't have an explosive either? Better find that damn key, or another way in. This door is locked with a keypad, but I don't have the code! Better bypass it with a multi-tool or two. Don't have a multi-tool? Use an explosive... etc.

The graphics, sounds, music, and gameplay for this game are ALL exceptional. This is truly a labor of love. And you can tell, down to the tiniest detail.

Overall I gave the game a 99/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Can't give anything a 100... I CANT!

"But why so high Tom?"
FPS or RPG? You decide.
From graphics to gameplay, this game sets a bar.

Good for: 40 or so hours of gameplay. And an amazing replay value because of all the story modification points.

NOTE: I didn't explain things very well, that's because the game is so advanced, you have to try it out in order to know what I'm talking about. Also Deus Ex 2 is coming out for the Xbox, PS2, and PC soon, so save your money! DeusEx2.com

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Settled in and back in business!!
Posted 2/21/2003 by

Well after a almost an entire week getting moved and settling in, I have finally found the time to do a quick update. For the One or Two people who might be interested, I have assembled an extremely lame virtual tour to show off the new duplex. And in memory of not having to drive the BRIDGE OF DEATH I have located some more pics online of said evil bridge which you can see right here.

Empty House Film is getting ready for the premiere of some new clips from their films this week. Be sure to check things out come Monday for a major release. (The new clips look GREAT!!)

Thats all for now, but be sure to check back later when things settle down!

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WDJoD: Assistant Mark Hijinks Part Three!!
Posted 2/13/2003 by

I had absolutely no intention of adding to the journal this quickly today until I returned to the Supercenter I had recently transferred from to pick up some boxes and some merchandise. While there I was informed of some recent hilarity that transpired over in the garden center last week. It seems that once again Assistant Mark was "captured" on film during the course of his day. And this time he included Assistant John and Co Manager Dave as well! Lets see what happens:

It reportedly took them well over Three hours to finish the work on this tire!! (I'm just glad it wasn't me doing this or it would have taken quite a bit longer!!)

Todays Lesson: Don't let the Assistant with a website know you have embarrasing photos or you might end up online like these guYs!!

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BOOYA!!
Posted 2/09/2003 by

I have no idea what this image has to do with this post except the word booya!!

Well folks, Two weeks have already passed in my new job location and all appears to be going well! I am beginning to remember some of the associates names without cheating by using their name badges, and am beginning to pick up on the daily groove of the store in general. I have even gotten somewhat used to crossing the BRIDGE OF DEATH daily!! This new gig has an obvious advantage over my old location. My new Wal-Mart home comes complete with a fully stocked radio grill restaurant which happens to serve my favorite dish: NACHOS!!! I can enjoy fresh nachos for breakfast, lunch, or dinner! They even throw in free jalepenos to spice things up!! And when just nachos by themselves wont do it, I can always add the blessed treat known as the polish sausage!! Where else can you have a polish and nachos for breakfast and not get arrested? What a country!!

Now on the flip side of things, I have had to make a few sacrifices. Mainly I have had to find a new way to acquire Red Diamond Pre Sweetened Iced Tea. I have found that my local milk suppliers in which I could usually order it from do not carry it there. (I'm hoping to change all that, but if not, I'll just drive an hour to get refills occasionally!!) Speaking of driving, I am still making that hour drive to work every day for the rest of the week until we get moved this weekend. And speaking of that remends me to let you all know I will be offline for an undeterminaed amount of time beginning Thurday. (Still hammering out a date for cable internet hookup!!) Other than that there are lots of things yet to be added to Sabatos over the next month or so.

STAY TUNED OR MISS THEM!!!

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Journal To Resume Soon!! Posted 2/02/2003 by
Sorry for the delays! I'm still busy preparing to move as well as adjusting to a new store. In the mean time be sure to visit the forums and let us know what you think! I'll be back soon enough with enough material to kill a large roughly oblong mass of animal hides! Comment on this post in our forums.

Review: Dragonball Z:Budokail
Posted 1/27/2003 by

Produced by Infogrames
For the Playstation 2
1-2 player's
Todays guest reviewer:Hemp Knight

This game boast's exellent graphic's,good play control and what could beat the DBZ opening music? This game comes equiped with 5 initial character's as well as 18 unlockable secret character's. Four game mode's include: Story mode, which ranges from the time when radditz first appear's on earth to the end of the cell game's. Replay value is high considering after you initialy beat story mode you can play through bonus chapter's, such as playing from frieza's point of view. Other games mode's include your basic two player duel. The world's martial art's tournament has three level's of play, novice mode, adept mode, and advanced. The prizes for winning each are different, ranging from item's to cash, or as it is called in-game zenny. The fourth mode put's you in the mighty hercule's shoes where he fights through the cell games defeating foe's til he encounter's the mighty cell himself. And lastly, their are the skills. Skills come in capsules you earn through out story mode, or come from a store where you spend your zenny in a trade for them. This is a great game for any good DBZ fan.

Hemp Knight's rating of this game: 10

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Review: Metroid Prime
Posted 1/25/2003 by

Game: Metroid Prime
Console: Gamecube
Developer: Nintendo/Retro Studios
Players: 1
Memory Card: 2 blocks
Compatible with GBA->Gamecube Adapter

Today's Guest Reviewer: Scott

Alright, anyone who's played any of the previous Metroid games for either the NES or the SNES will know the basic story behind this game. If you haven't played the games, let me explain it for you: You take on the role of intergalactic bounty hunter Samus Aran, and are called to a space station because of a distress beacon. Upon arrival, you realize that the space pirates (In previous games led by Mother Brain or Ridley) are up to no good, and after the station explodes you follow the pirates to a nearby planet to hunt them down and stop them.

In other games Samus has gone to Zebes and SR388, but in this game you wander to a strange planet once inhabited by the Chozo, and upon arrival you'll quickly discover that the Chozo have attempted to create a civilation without using technology. You also find out that the planet is infested by "the great poison". If you don't find these things out, you'd better start scanning stuff.

Which brings me to my next point: scanning is a very important part of this game and is very easy to do. Just switch visors with the D-pad, hold R to aim, and hold L to start scanning. Not only will you learn things and discover how to defeat enemies (as well as gain clues to the whereabouts of power-ups), but it will also increase your game completion % every now and then, and depending on what you scan. So scan everything.

With all that said, let me move on to the controls. The controls are simple to learn and master, and although at first they may seem a little ackward (especially after playing other Metroid games), they work quite well. A is shoot, B is jump, R is aim, and L locks on to a target. As you gain new abilities and power-ups, the game will explain how to go about using them, which makes things easier. Again, it will take a minute or two to familiarize yourself with the controls and get used to them, but once you do, you'll find that they work quite well. My only complaint in this area would be that to open doors you need to shoot them, but sometimes it'll take a few shots before they'll open up.

The music and sound in this game is amazing. A lot of music is from Super Metroid, but remixed a LOT, so much that most of the time it's hard to tell. As well, they added a bunch of new tracks. It's got sort of a quiet, rocky feel to the music, which isn't usually too common in video games, but works well for this one. The sound effects are great, and timed perfectly. Everything has it's own sound and a lot of the time you'll need to listen to the sounds to tell if you're about to be attacked. Surround Sound is also supported, which makes it sound even better, allowing you to tell the direction and distance of the enemy (not exact distance obviously, but you get the point).

So with all the technical stuff out of the way, it's time to get down to the heart of this beast: The gameplay. At first, the first-person view might make long-time Metroid fans a little hesitant to play Prime, but once you do, you'll find that they managed to make it work quite well, and it takes Metroid games to a new level. the graphics - at least as far as gamecube goes - are unmatched by any other game, and it's simple to understand the concepts and figure out where to go. The map can get confusing at times, but it works well because it allows you to tell how high things are, and lets you see what ledges are around. Of course, it doesn't show everything, but close enough. My only complaint here is that even with the brightness at max, the game is dark in a lot of places, and you'll find yourself falling into acid and whatnot a lot because you thought there was a ledge there, or because you didn't jump soon enough. But like all things, you'll get used to it. Once you get the thermal visor, the light isn't an issue because you just put that on and you can see more or less everything.

So to summarize everything, the graphics are definitely the best the Gamecube has pumped out so far, the audio effects are amazing, and sound great, and the controls are simple to use, yet very effective. A couple problems that could probably have been fixed up, but there's always a way around them (even if it takes awhile). If you don't own it, buy it. If you're still not sure about it, rent it at least, and if you like either Metroid games or First-person shooters, you'll like this game.

Game images are located here and here.

Scott's rating of this game: 9

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Back in the light...
Posted 1/22/2003 by

Not much time for a really good update, but I'll fill you in on some of the things going on. I just finished up the last of my overnight shifts this week and am having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the daylight hours. (Remember, I have slept during the day consistantly for the past Six months so this is kind of difficult!!) The wife and I will be visiting the new town tomorrow to go house hunting. In the meantime I will be neglecting the site a bit as to get the transfer process in motion. I still have some grand plans for the site as well as a few new features to roll out when there is a more time. So be sure to check back from time to time as usual, as you never know what might show up!

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TRANSFERRED!!!!!
Posted 1/11/2003 by

TRANSFERRED!! That's right, I'm being bloody transferred to another Wal-Mart in the district!! I knew my "minimum" time in one location was up, but I had recently elected to stay on another Six months on the overnight shift so it came as a really big surprise! My first indication that something was amiss was when I received a phone call from a new Assistant manager last Saturday night. He had just arrived in town to start looking for some housing and said he started on the 13th. I hooked him up with a few places to start looking and passed along the info to the other assistants as our store is properly staffed with management. (Special note to those who are not of a Wal-Mart background: Stores and districts rarely know very far in advance when any manager is going to be coming or going. More often than not, the person moving will give a courtesy call to the Store manger he will be working with, and that is the first indication that a move is eminent. Case in point, our store manager had only found out Friday that he was getting a new manager.) The other Assistants and I tried to work out who might be leaving, and for what reason. The person with the most time in the store was also wanting to transfer, so we figured it was him. How wrong we were!! Fast forward to Monday night. I get to the store at my scheduled time and notice that my store manager is still there. I immediately go on alert, as it is quite rare that he EVER stays late enough that we cross paths in the evening! My alert level goes a bit higher when he asks to visit with him in his office. (There was another matter concerning an associate termination that I knew I would hear from him on as well, so it might not be as bad as I thought.) He starts out by discussing the associate issue, but my mind keeps telling me he has something else to discuss. Then he drops the bombshell. "Hm hm, Shane, you are being transferred." I couldn't believe it! I thought I had everything figured out, and WHAM, they throw me a curve ball!!

Now that I have had a few days to calm down, as well as a discussion with my District Manager, I am starting to feel a bit better about the upcoming transition. My wife is still under contract with the school so I will make the 45 Minute drive each morning and night and commute for the next Five months. The real downer with that besides the obvious travel time is the BRIDGE OF DEATH I must cross to get to work each day. (It is a extremely crappy Two lane bridge over the Missouri river with large chunks of the driving surface falling of the edges of it!) I cannot stress to you how much this thing really freaks me out! I was loathe to cross it in the summer time, but in the winter? AAGGHH!! Perhaps I should call Resources for Living and ask for some help? (Sorry for the obscure Wal-Mart management humor in the last sentence. Ask a Wal-Mart manager for an explanation!) Anyway, we will have a much longer time frame to find quality housing than in a regular move, so that always counts as a positive. And we are still out of any major cities so that is quite cool as well! So I'm sure you may be asking yourself a question or two right now. Such as: "What does this transfer mean to me, Joe internet citizen?" or "SG111 is a mighty big wussy for being scared to cross that pretty bridge!" Well, the largest change besides the obvious change of address that will lose some of my stalkers is that we will have to remove the big "O" from the WOJoD and just make it the WJoD instead! (And as for you Somsabitch pile of monkey nuts who laugh at my well founded fear of the "BRIDGE OF DEATH", you can just visit it for yourself and experience it first hand!!)

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AEON LEGEND Going Under????
Posted 1/10/2003 by

I recently revisited the Aeon Legend website and was shocked to see that they have apparently thrown on the towel!! Here is what Jim Camel had to say on the news page:

Game over.
JimCamel, January 09, 2003 @ 12:37 a.m.
(ATTENTION: THIS QUOTE HAS BEEN MODIFIED AT THE REQUEST OF JIMCAMEL@AEONLEGENDONLINE. THERE WAS PERSONAL INFORMATION THAT HE DID NOT WISH TO SEE ON THE INTERNET THERE. THEREFORE THE ENTIRE FIRST PARAGRAPH WHERE HE WAS DOWN ON HIMSELF, AND DECIDED TO GIVE UP ON THE PROJECT HAS BEEN DELETED. HE HAS SINCE GONE ON TO CONTINUE THE PROJECT TO GREAT SUCCESS.) -SG 07/13/2003

But anyways, as a final gift, I present to you the final results of my work, the source for Aeonlegend. It's obviously not finished, and some things have only been partly implemented. I would love for someone to continue where I left off, but I feel that that will be nothing more than a dream. I always hoped that when I left AeonLegend Kraken would take the helm and steer it, but I fear I've left it in too much of a ruin for anyone to make anything of it.

This is no joke in case you were wondering.

Once again, I am really honestly, truely sorry. I have failed you all and failed myself, but failure is something I'm getting used to.

Aeonlegend Source Code

Goodbye.
Adrian "JimCamel" Clark

I have personally downloaded the source code and all current relevant files from their project in order to help determine if anything is worth utilizing for future projects. (Rumor has it that the code is quite sloppy. But as a non coder, I cannot personally say whether or not that is true.) On a personal level I recommend that Mr. Camel pull his head out of his ass and live life like a man! He sounds like a person who has given up. One cannot let small setbacks cause you to wuss out on everything!!

The uncertain future of this project of threatens to weaken the plight of the independant free gamer that thrives on such ideas. This will leave ever smaller games in which they can choose to play and build communities in. For some, even Graal will seem attractive!! So what can you do about it?? Keep seeking out great free online games, and let the community know about them! When you find a game developer working out of love for the product, support them in any way you can! Whether it be cash monies, or just some simple word of mouth, YOU can make a difference in a fledgeling games existance!

UPDATE!!! Visit the Sabatos downloads to get YOUR copy of the Aeon Legend source code!!

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SPANISH LANGUAGE NAME BADGE SAVES THE DAY!!!
Posted 1/05/2003 by

Once again, the day was saved! And who was it that saved said day? Why my Spanish Language Name Badge of course!! So what exactly is the deal with the Spanish Language Name Badge you ask? Well let me tell you about the Spanish Language Name Badge.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my current name badge was falling apart. Not only was it not wanting to stay together, but it was quite ugly from being run over with a pallet jack one too many times. So I went back to the personnel office and quickly made a new badge. (A little bit too quikly in retrospect, but whos keeping track?)I was visiting with another Assistant Manager a bit later in the shift when he suddenly points to my name badge and screams out, "Nuestra Gente Hace La... Differencia!!" (This translates to "Our people make the difference".) So once I figure out what he is talking about I say somthing about that being cool and forget all about it.

Fast forward to last night. It was 3AM and most of the drunk and crazies were out of the store or in jail. I got flagged by one of our cashiers who had stopped to help a customer on the grocery side. They were of obvious Latino descent and proceeded to show me a manufacturers coupon from Tyson Foods that they had recieved as a gift from the local Tyson plant. As I'm trying to figure out exactly how they can use it the gentleman notices my Spanish Language Name Badge and asks if I speak Spanish. (It has been many years since I last took a class so I am a bit rusty.) I answered him with, "Mi español es muy feo" which translates to "My Spanish is very ugly." We all had a good laugh about that and I proceeded to help him and his wife use their holiday coupon from their employer. Now did the Spanish Language Name Badge allow me to really save the day? Not really. But it did make some bilingual customers a bit more at ease while shopping last night and gave me a story to tell this morning!

In a completely unrelated topic I wanted to mention that the rants area of Sabatos is back online including the Wal-Mart Overnight Journal of Doom!!! (We can all thank a certain Assistant manager guY for having that archive down for a while!!)

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New Years Resolutions Are Useless Against Me!!!
Posted 1/02/2003 by

EDITORS NOTE: Due to a recent ruling by the Demon/Human Relations Comittee, I am legally obligated to allow Tobacco Demon "Phil" to post on this site as often as he wants. This is due to me beating the crap out of him recently and force feeding him Two full cans of tobacco and not letting him vomit.

Greetings and salutations my most excellent friends! It is I "Phil" your friendly neighborhood Tobacco Demon writing to you today. I really must thank SG111 for so graciously pummeling me and thereby allowing me access to such ripe, fertile minds such as yours!! As you all know, today begins the new year and many of you have kept up the silly notions of making "New Years Resolutions" and such. Please, let me be the first to let you know that such things are IMPOSSIBLE to hold to and you will be MUCH better off just giving in right now to the heady aroma of a freshly opened can of quality tobacco! I am certain that many of you believe that I do not know what I am talking about. To you I must show my Union Card as proof of my skill and knowledge. If I was able to force a legal victory from my defeat against SG111, then surely I am actually pretty knowledgable about other things like New Years resolutions! So do not even try to give up such beautiful habits as chewing tobacco this year. In fact, I think you should START if you don't already!

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Assistant Mark Update: Web Premiere "A Wal-Mart Carol"
Posted 12/24/2002 by

Well folks, as promised, I have completed the web friendly versions of "A Wal-Mart Carol" starring Assistant Mark!! As you can see from the picture here, he has more interests than merely scarfing down pie! Thats right, he also has a bit of the acting bug inside!!

Director Josh Tomlinson and the associates of the food area of our store made this video for entertainment at our annual Christmas party earlier this month. It is a bit of a rushed product but was produced in under a week. Use the links below to view it right now!! (Each movie loads in it's own player in it's own window.)

56k Version (Really low quality video!! 1.9 Meg)

High Bandwidth Version (Much better quality!! 4.8 Meg)

Best Quality Version (Contact me and I'll get you a copy. 54 Meg)

Merry Christmas!!

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Supercool Local Wal-Mart Movie to be Available in Next 24 Hours!!!!
Posted 12/23/2002 by

I have a special treat for everyone very soon!! In the next 24 hours I will upload the highly anticipated Wal-Mart Christmas video from my store!! This was a cheap play on "A Christmas Carol" starring that zany pie eating fiend, Assistant Manager Mark!! I recieved the master copy last night and am working on the low, medium, and high quality versions. Stay tuned and get ready to laugh your ass off!!

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WOJoD: Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood???
Posted 12/18/2002 by

As the hectic pace of the holiday season increases, I am reminded of a valuable life lesson that no one should forget: There are some mighty strange people out there. And they ALL want to meet me! Not just a few of them, but rather every last freak on the planet has made it their mission to seek me out and test my resolve!! With that being the case I can only do one thing. Start a running log of them in the new action packed version of the WOJoD: Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood!!! Here we will keep a running listing of different types of customers as well as specific examples of individuals who have been recognized by the distinguished panel of Assistant Managers!

Name: SPECIAL ROBERT

Type: One of a Kind

Difficulty Rating: Easy, but quite annoying

Quote: "Where are my glasses? I must have my glasses!"

Although Special Robert did not actually visit me on overights, I decided to include him anyway due to his compelling saga! I was working a closing shift this past spring when I recieved a phone call from him and it went somthing like this:

Me: Hi, this is Shane, how can I help you?

S.R.: HELLO? ARE YOU A MANAGER? I MUST TALK TO A MANAGER!! ARE YOU A MANAGER??

Me Yes, I am an assistant manager what can I do for you?

S.R.: YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! MY NAME IS ROBERT AND I HAVE LOST MY GLASSES!! I KNOW I LOST THEM IN THE WAL-MART STORE AND YOU MUST GIVE MY GLASSES TO ME!!!! MY MOM AND DAD SAID TO CALL YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE MY GLASSES AND SO WHERE ARE THEY???

Me: So did you lose your glasses while shopping? if that is the case...

S.R.: DO NOT LIE TO ME!! I LOST MY GLASSES!! I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES!! YOU HAVE THEM AT THE THE STOREE AND I NEED MY GLASSES!!!

Me: well. what I am trying to explain to you is that we have a lost and found at the service desk. Have you looked there for your glasses yet?

S.R.: OF COURSE I HAVE LOOKED FOR THEM THERE!! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? I LOST MY GLASSES! I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES!!! MY MOM AND I LOOKED FOR THEM THERE A A WEEK AGO, I THINK, AND THEY WERE NOT THERE!! I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES!!

Me: So when exactly did you lose them?

S.R.: I THINK IT WAS A WEEK AGO THAT I LOST THEM. BUT I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES! YOU DO NOT HAVE THEM SO YOU HAVE TO BUY ME NEW ONES BECAUSE I NEED THEM!!!! I AM PRETTY SURE IT WAS A WEEK, OR MAYBE A MONTH. I AM NOT GOOD WITH DATES AND TIME. BUT YOU HAVE MY GLASSES AND I MUST HAVE THEM BACK!!!

Me: Well Sir, if they were not turned in there is not much if anything we can do for you.

S.R.: NO!!!! YOU HAD MY GLASSES AND NOW YOU DON'T!! I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES AND YOU WILL BY ME NEW ONES OR ELSE!!!!

Me: Tell you what Sir. Go ahead and give me your phone number and I'll look around some more for you and see if we we can find them. O.K.??

S.R.: O.K., BUT I MUST HAVE MY GLASSES! HERE IS MY NUMBER!!!! CALL ME BACK BECAUSE I NEED MY GLASSES AND YOU HAVE THEM AND I NEED THEM!!!

*** Next Morning ***

Me: Hello, Robert? Just wanted to let you know that we could not find any evidence of your glasses ever coming to our service desk. My apologies to you sir, they just aren't here.

S.R.: O.K., I AM SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU YESTERDAY. MY MOM SAID THAT SHE WILL BUY ME MORE GLASSES. PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME. I WILL HAVE NEW GLASSES NOW SO I WILL NOT NEED MY OLD ONES. SO I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER NOW SO GOODBYE WAL-MART MAN!! *click*

Me: Why me??

Today's Lesson: Some things are better left unexplained. Yeah.

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Holiday Quote Contest Is Here!!!
Posted 12/12/2002 by

Thats right folks, I just opened up the most recent Sabatos quote contest! All you have to do is come up with somthing funny to include with the image I provided and win a cool prize!! (The definition of "cool" and "prize" are used quite loosely, and consist of video game lanyards and air fresheners! Sabatos Network reserves the right to say what is "cool" and what is not in relation to it's prize pool. This contest is void in France!) The contest will be open until December 19th so hurry up and play today!

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Review: NBA 2K
Posted 12/09/2002 by

(This review was submitted by Ken Rocray)

Product: NBA 2K

Game Specs: Players: 1-4 offline, 2-8 online. by Sega Sports

Home page: segasports.com

Alright, the newest game in the legendary Nba 2k series is here, and I must say, I'm truely impressed with this game. For those of you who have played the 2k series before, this game will not dissapoint. For those newcomers, you going to be blown away by the features of this gem.

For anyone who doesn't have xbox live, don't let this effect your decision, online play is GREAT, but the single player aspect is the most indepth of any game ive ever played. There are several modes of play in single player mode; quick game, scrimmage, franchise, tournament, playoffs, street, and season. And each of the modes have a unbelieveable number of options to tweak. You can play as any of the NBA teams, the all decade teams, from the 90's through the 60's, or you can create your own team, with players you create. There's just so many things you can do in this game.
And you know what?

Thats not even the best part.

After you hone in your skills a bit, take your game online, and face people around the world. This is hands down the best reason to purchace this game. There's a few options for online play (requires a xbox live subscription) First, Quickmatch which hooks you up with the fastest available game. Also there's Optimatch. With this, you join a lobby, for the type of game you want to play, Scrimmage, ranked or street. You then pick a game, and challenge them. As you gain wins, you move up the leaderboard, and see if you can become the best in the world.

This game is so unbelieveable, this review doesn't do it justice. If you own a xbox, you MUST get this game. There's nothing finer then yelling OHHH!!! Boom Shakalaka, Biach!! to some guy in Florida. Trust me. Buy this game, and you most definitly will not be disapointed. Stop reading, and get it now!!!!

Ken Rocray rates this game a 7

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SG111 Declared WINNER IN LIFE. Tobacco Demon Leaves In Disgrace!!!!
Posted 12/06/2002 by

Two months, and several bags of sunflower seeds later, I have now declared myself completely tobacco free!! Thats right, I have completed my regimen of Nicotine patches and have been without the evil herb for over Two weeks. So I feel it is now safe to say that I'm THE WINNER IN LIFE!!! Yea for me!! I can now feel safer at home knowing that my jaw will not randomly fall off in the course of conversation! I'm sure many of you are wondering what became of "Phil" my former tobacco demon. Well, as you can see from the image to the right, I beat the crap out of him!! I punched him, kicked him, choked him, and made him listen to the "Habitrol©" inspirational music I recieved with all of my patches!! After that I made him eat both cans of tobacco that he kept trying to tempt me with and wouldn't let him throw up!! I was going to throw him in front of traffic on the highway as well, but since I didn't have Nic fits anymore I calmed down and had some soup instead! (I have been informed by the Tobacco Demon Local 479 that Phil has recovered somewhat and is now available to tempt anyone else who is thinking of quiting smoking or chewing. Call 1-800-DEMON 4U for details.)

In other news, the new pages for Emptyhouse Film's new website are nearly complete. You can see the new site layout by visiting Emptyhouse Film.com. The pages for their latest film are going a bit slower though. Plan on seeing them as soon as this Monday.

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He Likes Pie!!
Posted 11/30/2002 by

Poor Assistant Mark! Seems like any time he does somthing even slightly embarassing someone has a camara handy! This photo was recently taken at a local fundraising event in our town. Mark and another manager competed and won all the food competitions!! He even made the front page of our local paper! (Unfortunatly, the paper is too cheap to keep up a web presence, so I will scan and print the article as soon as I find a copy!) Stay tuned for more Assistant Mark action as it develops!!

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WOJoD: WHEN SPRINKLERS ATTACK!!!
Posted 11/28/2002 by

Saturday night. Usually a slower night for freight and for sales. But this past Saturday night was different. MORE DIFFERENT THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!! This Saturday night would be a test of strength, willpower, and ......................... plumbing skills!! It all started around 10PM that night. I was in the office communicating with my Co Manager and the Grocery Stocker Lead, when I get paged back to our General Merchandise Receiving right away. I figure it is somthing minor like letting a driver in from the back so I call down to see whats up. Just as I pick up the phone I hear a dreadful noise. ITS THE FIRE ALARM!!! I jump up out of my seat and haul ass down the back hallway of the store. I make it down to receiving and look around to see what is going on.Much to my surprise there is not a fire at all but just a single sprinkler head that has been completely knocked off! I radio my Co-Manager and let her know what is going on and reccomend that she call our home office to let them know whats going on. I also let her know that I am heading for the closet where the water valves are, in an attempt to turn them off.

When I got to the closet, (which looks just like the picture but with more pipes and less space), the sprinklers had been on for Five minutes already. Time was running short. I did a quick check to find what looks like the most logical choice for a main shutoff valve and give it a go. I peek around the corner and see if it slowed down. Nope, still flooding things badly. I go back in the closet and turn off every big valve I can see. I figure that should make the water go off and head back to receiving. The water is still going strong when I get back but I notice an associate trying to turn on the "High Loader" machine which caused the accident to move it out of the way. i run back and start screaming at him in my Angry Voice of Authority to let him know exactly how bad Electrical equipment and water go together!! I then rustled up a few slack jawed assocoates who were just standing around looking at the mess to start moving the wet pallats out of the way of the water. My Co-Manager made it back by then and she wanted me to find a wa yto get that water off quickly. So back to the pipe closet I went. Before stepping foot back in the maze of pipes and valves I called up the head safty guy in the store to find out what else I needed to do to get the water off. He telss me about the system drain valves and I'm back enroute in a flash to make things dry! (The sprinklers had now been on for Fifteen minutes and Three Quarters of the receiving area had standing water on the ground.)I look around a bit closer this time, and I find a few valves way up high that are tagged as flush valves. I quickly climbed up to reach them and turned them off one by one till until the affected sprinkler had been turned off.

Now that we had the waterstopped we took a quick look aroound to access the damage. We had over 50,000 gallons of water on the floor and Three pallets of soaked merchandise. We got the floor crew, (The new English speaking ones, not the Mongolians,) to take their scrubber machines and suck up as much water as they could. We then sent out several associates to go after floor squeegies and push brooms so we could push water out the door and set several others after moving the rest of the merchandise on the floor to the sales floor so we could clean things up. It was during this time that found out what had actually cased this tragedy. It seems that an Electronics associate was attempting to get a TV down for a customer. He got a little close to a sprinkler haed, and next thing you know, we have in indoor swimming pool! They guy fessed up to it right away and even stayed an extra Four hours to help clean things up. (He was REALLY, REALLY, sorry, and was later cleared of any purposeful wrongdoing!)

On the positive side of things, the mess was cleaned up quickly, and we succeeded in getting all the freight up for the night. (Which was a testament to my Overnight Team for their speed and expertise.) And as for the Electronics associate who started this whole mess? He's now known as "The Water boy" and has been teased by our Store Manager on down and will more than likely NEVER live the story down!!

Todays Lesson: (Obviously) Don't break sprinkler heads while getting down TVs!

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ISP Hell!!!
Posted 11/23/2002 by

Hurrah, my first rant.
Anyways, about a week ago we (my family) had the Internet, for free. Why? Well we had
neglected to pay our Internet fee for about a year, yet they were letting us log on without
issue. Why? We must have been slipping through the cracks. And so we were enjoying the
Internet and all its wonders! Well, that just had to cease. Our previous ISP found us and
cut off our access. What nerve! And so the hunt begins...
My father and I scour the yellow pages, looking for a decent ISP. My Dad decides that the
evil demonic Verizon would be a good choice. Why Dad why? The next day I get home
from school with a message on the answering machine simply stating "Tom, call
1-800-???-????, this is Verizons Internet service number. We should have a standing
order." Well, even if I hate Verizon, it sure would be nice to have Internet. So I call them.
"Press 1 if you blah blah, 2 if you blah blah" after about 5 minuets of this, I get to "All
representatives are currently busy, please hold"
Well, 3 Billy Joel and Elton John songs later, I finally get Kim.
Kim- DSL number please.
Me- Excuse me?
Kim- DSL number please.
Me- I don’t understand...
Kim- How can I help you sir?
Me- Well, uhh, my Dad told me to call you so I can get Internet access.
Kim- Home phone number please sir.
Me- 207-???-????
Kim- One moment please... Sorry sir, there’s no information pertaining to that number.
Me- Well, my dad called earlier today, I think, said you would have a standing order...
Kim- Hold on, let me check other data bases.... sorry sir. Do you know your username?
Me- Um... I don’t even know what number my computer needs to dial, or my username,
or password.
Kim- Dial? Is this for dial-up?
Me- Yeah...
Kim- This is for DSL sir, please hold while I transfer you.
Me- Oh, Jesus.
And so I go through another 5-10 minuets of number crunching until finally "Please hold,
all representatives are currently busy." 15 minuets of elevator music later...
John- ThisIsJohnSpeaking,AreaCodeAndPhoneNumberPlease.
Me- What???
John- This... Is... John... Speaking... Area... Code... And... Phone... Number... Please...
Me- Sorry, 207-???-????
John- Name please.
Me- Tom Kane
John- Name on the account please.
Me- Robert Kane
John- Verify address please
Me- 'insert my address here'
John- I’m sorry, that’s not the correct address.
Me- It should be...
John- Have you moved recently?
Me- Not that I know of!
John- Please hold while I transfer you to billing...
Me- F*ck this! -click-

Three hours later my father comes home, I tell him my story, so he gives them a call. 30
minuets later he gets hung up on. And so my dad gets super pissed.
The next night my dad tries again, they tell him his name is nowhere on the data base, and
that he doesn’t have an existing account. He tells the (I'm sure very innocent) tech guY to
get bent, and slams the phone down. He then calls the local ISP "GWI", after about 8
minuets of talking, and a 20 minuet wait, we're on the Internet at a blazing 28.8k
connection. Which is indeed terrible, since our last ISP got us 33.6k and our modem is
intended for 56k, but at least I made it online to write this.

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Ahh!
Posted 11/22/2002 by

Well, as you all might have noticed I have not been on recently since I am having some problems with my computer, being the motherboard is screwed, and I need a new one, I was looking for a nice game to review, havn't found one yet, but when I get my computer up and running (1week++) I will try to get one done, also, Diaftau (the maker of Damasca, an upcoming game, which we will all FIGHT to review, BWAAUAAUAUA) has announced that the website (former damasca.net) has gone down, and the game must be extremely close to release since he needs to purchase a server, there is alot of information about this in the forums, but I will summarize this, the rental of the server will cost about $100 USD / month, and he is looking to raise those funds, I would expect he is trying to get sponsors from ad's etc, but who would advertise on something never seen before, correct? So what we need to do is to donate some "cash moniez" into a paypal account, so we can get the ball rolling, he has posted the way it would work in the forum post as well.

10 people - $10.00 each.
15 people - $6.67 each
20 people - $5.00 each
50 people - $2.00 each
etc. (You get the idea I'm sure).

As he posted, well nothing is set up yet, in terms of the donation (from what I have seen) but stick around, and in the Forums there is NO NEED TO REGISTER TO POST/REPLY! Come all Former Graalians, have a heart! TO THE FORUMS!

Updates Galore!!
Posted 11/22/2002 by

Hey folks, just some random thoughts and a few updates to announce for this week. Starting things out is a new member in the Sabatos Network Lazarus Film. This is another independant movie group who have been working on their first film. Be sure to stop by and welcome them aboard once they get settled in this week.

I made a few additions to the links page. Mostly, just some new button links for some regular haunts of mine, including the newly reformed Nexose Network. (In case you never read the bottom of the pages, Nexose does the hosting for the Sabatos Network!!) I should also mention that the Damasca game development site is down and will be down for a while. They ran into server troubles and should be back eventually.

You will not be able to see it yet for a few more days, but I have given Emptyhouse Film's website a facelift. I'll make an announcement when it's ready to go.

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WOJoD: Get Ready For The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!
Posted 11/22/2002 by

As I prepare to finish up my days off this week and go back to work I can't help but feel a twinge of apprehension for the days ahead. We have a little less than a week to finalize preperations for the day after Thanksgiving and begin the dreaded "COUNTDOWN TILL CHRISTMAS". Well, the countdown for the rest of the population anyway. We corporate whores have been counting down since August, making plans, executing them, making more plans, etc. What makes it hectic is that you, the CUSTOMER, are starting to recieve the subtle Holiday messages we are throwing at you!! (Special Note: I really do like Christmas, it just gets really hectic and makes me high strung!) For a few weeks now we have been recieving the "top secret" shipments of merchandise for the "Blitz" sale. (The Blitz is a fancy Wal-Mart word for the day after Thanksgiving Sale.) Our recieving areas have been filling up and everyone in the store gets a bit sensitive. Ah yes,it truely IS, the most wonderful time of the year!!

So being in this mindset already I was a bit shocked to see the following news article concerning my employer and various websites. It seems that a few of the sites had acquired the specifics to our companies sale ads and were freely giving away the information. This is not really unusual due the size of our company and keeping a secret on sale items is next to impossible. What really hacked me off was the legal action Wal-Mart chose to take. For reasons unknown to me they chose to invoke the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) of 1998!! I understand that we want to protect or competitive information but this is ridiculous! I could be wrong, but I don't believe that we ever went after our offline competitors when they got information on what we were doing! (And yes, industrial espionage is alive and well in the retail sector.) I understand that the companies involved have complied to the cease and desist letters as they are spooked by our legal might. This is just wrong! Yes, the web sites should not have the information but a different method should have been used. This brings a dangerous precedent into play over the use of the DCMA and is quite honestly, frightening.

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New Version of First Star Online Available for Download Posted 11/18/2002 by
For those of you who enjoy creating your own maps and such, a new version of First Star Online is available for download. This is a major overhaul for the game, with many needed improvements included. You can download it from their website. Enjoy! Comment on this post in our forums.

EVIL TOBACCO DEMON STRIKES BACK!!!!
Posted 11/16/2002 by

It seems that my "Tobacco Demon ©" has returned yet again to tempt my tummy, with the taste of tobacco!! I thought I had lost good old "Phil" when he left me a few weeks back to go play poker with his friends. Little did I know, that he was only "pretending" to be gone, and was actually conspiring with THE MAN to KEEP ME DOWN!! Thats right! He spent all this time working up new angles to trick me into going back to the "demon weed". His first line of attack was to use his network of "Tobacco Users" to visit my store and do completely moronic things! For example, I had a person come in trying to purchase a deer tag. He had everything a person needed except a copy of his hunter safty card. Not a problem, I had the associate in Sporting Gooods call the Conservation Dept and verify his number. We come to find out that the guy's number he gave is not valid. So I let the guy know that we cannot sell him the tag. (This is where it gets fun!) This clown shoe decides that since he can't get a license that he should call me names! Wrong answer. He goes away. About Tenn minutes later he has a buddy call and ask about the situation . Fellow gets the same answer. (It has to be tobacco demon influenced behavior, as real people cannot be this stupid!)

Now that I have created my extremely large excuse for not updating properly I can clue you in on a couple of things coming up in the near future. I am currently working on producing the super cool Six month anniversary from being free from Graal post! It will include some lost images as well as some old articles and information to be reloaded online. There will even be links to the infamous "Bizarro Graal" story and "MYSTICAL UNIXMAD HEAD!!!" (Both of which have never been taken offline!!) Be sure to check it out!
Special note: All ressurected Anti-Graal information will be hosted off site as not to cause any trouble with our host when the Fancy European Business Guys get offended by it and try to shut down the servers

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WOJoD: MONGOLIANS GO HOME!!!
Posted 11/07/2002 by

As regular readers may know, our Supercenter has typically outsourced the floor maintence of our stores to independant companies who can do the job for a cheaper price. About Two months ago a certain casino loving Divisional Vice President of our company decided that it would be funny to fire these groups and have us train and hire floor crews inhouse. It was supposedly a "cost saving" measure, but for some reason even the lowest ranking associate can see the flaw in this logic!! We had a company cleaning the floors with their own equipment, training their own employees, and doing it for a very cheap price! And now we must spend a large sum of money to purchase and maintain new floor cleaning wquipment, hire and train new associates for the task, and end up over all spending roughly 20% more to clean the floors!!!

So at the beginning of October I had the duty to inform the floor crew that they were being let go and that their last day was the 31st. Surprisingly, their leader "Tull" had heard rumors of this and was getting ready to ask me about it anyway! And that is when our troubles began. I have gone through this before and I told him upfront that we would eventually go back to outsourced floor care so they should continue to work hard and leave on good terms. He assured me they would. But of course, what really happened was somthing quite different. Now before we go any further, let me introduce you to the various members of the crew, and some of their quirky habits:

Tull: Leader and the only English Speaker Tull is a full time student here in the U.S. who is trying to complete his business degree so he can go back to Mongolia and assist us filthy Capitalist Pigs rape their natural resourses. (Well, that is what he told me anyway!) He typically hangs out in the magizine area and reads all the magizines and books there while waiting for his time to leave. The only time I could get him to work was when I gave him an aggressive waxing schedule and called his boss when it wasn't completed.

Dop Che: Guy who used the buffer machine and swept alot Dop Che is a pretty cool guY! (And he was the only one who worked his tail off day in and day out!) As I have stated in previous articles, I had many conversations with him in a cobbled mixture of English, Mongol, and hand signals. He is working here in the States to put his children through school and is very polite.

Scrubber GuY #1 This guy seemed to be second in command to Tull. He also seemed to be quite popular with the sweeper ladies as well. The only real contact I had with this guy was when Tull got in a car accident and was trying to call them. we kept trying to get them to answer the phone but they kept refusing. So I went up to them and said somthing like "You talk on phone! They speak Chinese!" All of a sudden he starts flipping out on me screaming "WE NO CHINESE!!!! WE MONGOLIAN!!!! NO CHINESE!!!!! MONGOLIAN!!!!" He would never even look at me after that night and avoided me at all costs thereafter.

Scrubber GuY #2 and Mop Man These two never tried to communicate much either. And I recently found out why. Apparently these Two got in a fight with Two other Mongolian guys while working in a different store. The dudes were fighting over money and somebody got stabbed! (They mysteriously disappeared after I gave them their One months notice.)You could almost always count on these guys getting in trouble. They were routinely caught banging into things with the equipment and not letting our customers have the right of way.

Sweeper Ladies #1, #2, and #3 These had to be the laziest members of theie team! Ladies #1, and #2 appeared to be mother and daughter, and spent quite a bit of time around Scrubber GuY #1. They routinely broke their vaccumn cleaners and would have to use a broom and dust pan to clean the carpets. (Although they were often caught just sweeping the air above the carpet and not the carpet itself!!) Sweeper lady #3 was even lazier though! I caught her hiding in the garden center talking on her cellphone no fewer than Four times!!

The first week of the final month went quite well. The basic scrubbing and waxing went on as normal but we seemed to have fewer people coming in to do the work. When I asked about this Tull told me he was giving time off to his people as some of them had not had a day off in Six months. I let him know that it would be cool as long as he still followed his contract and the work got done.

By the second week, things were getting a little messy. Waxing was being done in a shoddy manner and some of the carpets were being missed. Small gum patches and other spots were building up as well. My store manager was quite annoyed and had me walk the entire floor before letting the crew leave for the night. (This went over like a lead baloon!) Very soon I had several nights where they would run out before I could walk them.

In the third week I became quite annoyed and visited with my store manager. He decided that he would cut their pay and I began to question their every move. I called their supervisior nightly to report my findings. Now their supervisor was REALLY PISSED! He knew we would eventually go back to outsourcing the floor work and wanted his company to get the contracts. I found out that he had already cut their salery completly for their last week. But instead of getting the floor guys to better work, they got even worse! Their behavior and sloppiness were so bad, that by their final night mycounterpart kicked them out of the store halfway through the shift!! (Our inhouse crew was ready anyway, so it wasn't too big of a deal.)

LESSON OF THE DAY: Always try to leave a job on good terms! Especially if you want to get paid for your last weeks work!!

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Message Board NOT Fouled Up Anymore!!!
Posted 10/29/2002 by

The Sabatos Forums skin issues were corrected rather quickly this evening! Now all users use the "Sabatos" skin as the default. I'll be working on fixing a few forum images this evening as well as working on a new skin for Empty House Film. Stay tuned for even more Evil Goodness!!!

(Updated 5AM CST)
I just got done tweaking the images for the Sabatos skin. I must say that the end product looks pretty sharp in my opinion! (Note: Other actual opinions may vary. Claim void in France and Canada.)

I also should mention that I have officially begun wearing my "STAGE 2" nicotine patch. Tobacco demon Phil has fortunately not been made aware of this fact, and left me alone to go play poker with his buddies!

More to come...

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Message Board Fouled Up ALSO!
Posted 10/28/2002 by

Well, there is currently a skin problem on the forums, where the skin was reset to the original skin by default and if you try to change it, you get locked out completely, if this does occur you may email me () or get me on AIM (SN: thegreatgazoo64) and I will fix this for you, SG says he will fix it... so how can I say this... grab a snickers...

(The issue is with the imported skin files on the Invision board. Repairs and usual site upgrades will begin on Tuesday at 6 PM CST. - SG111)

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Saturn Reviews "Little Fighters 2"
Posted 10/28/2002 by

This review breaks away from the standard review format as it is presented in the exact same style as I recieved the email.

Hey,
I sent you a slew of games you could play online before. However, I have found one game, a freeware game, that blows them all away. It's not an RPG, more a fighting game, but it is seriously good. I mean, I am honestly surprised a freeware game could EVER get this good.
First, the URL:

http://home.netfront.net/~marti/lf2/en_lf2.html

You do NOT need to download the language package. IT has a English version and the game also is in english.
THe graphics are pretty decent. They don't blow you away, but, then agian, it IS a freeware game and is better than most freeware games out there.
You do have special moves, although they take Mp away. THat;'s kinda nice in my opinion, as for once, you don't have someone doing the same move over and over again. They only have so much 'power' in which they can use, and then it's exhausted. It seems to get rid of cheapness and invokes strategy.
You can also play online against someone. I am unsure how many peeps you can play against. At least one, although I am unsure if you can play against more. IT does look like though, you can play at most four at a time on the computer, and up to eight(although somehow I managed to get more) in a battle.
There are also weapons, things that let you heal, etc. You can just pick them up and use them. I used three things thus far. A stick, a rakish looking object(not sure if it was a rake or not) and finalyl some type of bottle that lets you heal up when you drink it.
Also note that this is probably the only freewrae game that seems to get almost all 5.0's and 10.0's dependng on the site's rating scale.
I could go on, but in realith, this game is superb. I am pretty damn surprised that it is freeware. The fighting system is damn good too, as it manages to get in weapons, special attacks, and Mp all into one game(which is something I have never seen).
I really suggest you at least take a look at this game, if you don't just put it up on your website. Again, at least in my opinion, it is truly remarkable, to see such a fine game, as freeware. Anyway, I think I have said enough. Again, check it out, I think you will like it, and hopeuflly others.

-David

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WOJoD: I AM THE MASTER OF TIME!!!!
Posted 10/27/2002 by

Right about now you are sure to be saying to yourself: "Boy, that SG111 has finally worn one to many Wal-Mart vest and has gone crazy!" You would only be partially correct. I have been crazy for many years but tonight I became: THE MASTER OF TIME!!!! As just about every American knows, Daylight savings time ended last night. And being that I am of course, working overnights that meant TONS-O-FUN © for myself!! The evening started out strange right from the start. I realized as soon as I got to work that I must convince the opening manager to come in an hour early in the NEW time so I would not be stuck working a 13 hour shift instead of my equally tiring 12 hour shift. For some reason this confused the guy somthing terrible so I ended up arguing with him for the next few minutes trying to show him that he was coming in early in the NEW time in order to keep me working a standard shift in the OLD time. After I had finally given up, he understood and I let him leave early to compensate for his change in hours. Around 10PM in OLD time my Grocery associates come in to work. The big question on everyones mind is on whether or not they should clock in due to the time change. Simple enough, I explain the easiest way to get through the night is to work a full Eight hour shift and to not change their wrist watches until they were done working for the evening. Everyone seemed to underststand, so I went about my business. I go walking by the lounge around 10:30 OLD time and notice that several of the General Merchandise stockers are getting ready to come to work. I go in to see whats going on as they are scheduled to work at 11:30 OLD time! They let me know that the other overnight assistant let them leave a little bit early and told them to come in a full hour early tonight because we had a large amount of merchandise. I let that part slide as I was immediately questioned several more times on how to properly tell time when the clocks changed at 2am. No sooner than I had left the lounge, I recieved a message from the CSM asking about the time change. I tried to explain it all to him via the walkie, but to no avail. I then let him know that I would be up front personally to make sure he properly understood the whole situation. Fifteen minutes and several time related questions later I arrived at the front end of the store. I went into my same song and dance on the subject but the guy STILL had a hard time grasping the subject. So being the fair and balanced manager type guY that I am I drew him a picture AND made fun of him at the same time!! As you can see in the image I drew him with clownshoes as he could not just get what I was talking about!! So finally I get him to understand the situation.

A bit later in the evening I have the same CSM change the visable clocks on the front end to reflect the NEW time for our customers. Little did I know that that one simple action would cause so much chaos!! Enter the Mongolian floor crew. (We currently outsource the cleaning of the floors to an independant contractor. Typically these groups are foriegners who are looking for entry level work in our country without having to learn English. This particular team is from Mongolia. AND PLEASE, DO NOT CALL THEM CHINESE!! THEY WILL BE VERY ANGRY!!) Somehow, the majority of the floor crew does not know about the change in the time. I go up to the checkouts to buy my dinner and am confronted by "Doff Che". (He is the guY who runs the buffer machine and is really cool, except for the fact that he reeks of garlic!) He and I have developed a strange collection of hand signals and words in Mongel AND English to communicate. Anyway, he is quite upset with the change in time! He thinks we are playing a joke on him and wants to know why the clock say Two instead of Three!! I motion and grunt to him that Three is "thumbs up" and Two is "thumbs down". His English speaking counterpart comes over and we get the two of them to understand what is going on. I look over towards the exit door and see that the security gaurd has his hands full with the Two ladies who work on the floor crew. They are screaming at him and throwing their arms around wildly in a poor attempt to get him to understand what they are saying. They too think that someone is playing a mean trick on them! We head over that way and try to educate them as well. FINALLY, I was able to get the entire floor crew educated on the time change and eventually enjoyed a tast lunch. So thank you Ben Franklin, for giving me a chance to be "THE MASTER OF TIME"!!!!

Todays Lesson: There is no lesson to be learned here, as it was just a crazy night!!

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Review Section Temporarily Fouled Up
Posted 10/24/2002 by

I just now noticed that the review section of the site is once again messed up. This time no one can see any reviews posted since Tom Kane's last one. I don't have the time for it right now, but will manage to get to it this evening. (If worse comes to worse, I'll revert back to a more stable news management system that doesn't eat posts!!)

I took a few minutes to make a new name label for myself after perusing the vaults of Bad Movies.org They have extensive plot summeries, clips, and photos of all the movies you NEVER wanted to see!! (I seem to have a new found love for horrible movies lately. Perhaps it is just nostalgia for the schlock I used to watch late at night before the invasion of the infomercials.)

And for you former Anti-Graal supporters I ran into a bit of news this week as well. , decided to go live with one of Matriark Tervels Open Graal clients this week but made a critical error. He wanted his server to be popular so he utilized an old list of Graal player's emails and spammed his server to anyone he could find. (I personally recieved email from Four different addresses from this guY!!) What Mr. Graham didn't count on was that some of the folks who he spammed this information to didn't really care for a free Graal at all. So to the best of my knowledge, Unixmad recieved several tips to what was happening and the server was quickly shut down. (Gotta love those DCMA letters!!) I shall add Mr. Graham to the long list of failed server guYs who have threats of legal action made to them!! Note to the ill informed: Unixmad has the copyright law in his favor. It sucks but legally he can pretty much do what he threatens to do and people just have to live with it. What makes me really pissed is that the old Anti-Graal effort almost DID destroy Graal. (This has been recently verified and documented.) But enough with all that pointless tripe!!

More to come....

7:20am Friday
The good news is that the review page is working properly again. Unfortunatly Tom Kane will have to resubmit his earlier review to have it online again. Now for the bad news. There is a problem with the Sabatos skin on the forums. I'm still not quite sure what exactly the issue is, but I plan on having it resolved soon. (In the mean time we must all suffer through the indignity of having a boring old regular Invision Board to look at!!)

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TI99sim - A TI-89 99 and 99/4a Emulator
Posted 10/24/2002 by

Homepage: http://www.mrousseau.org/programs/ti99sim/

Platforms Supported: Linux, Win32

Download:

Linux (Source)

Linux (i386 Binaries)

Win32 (binaries)

This emulator runs most cartridge roms that i've seen and even has speech synthesis and disk/cassette support!

Features:

Core emulator written in C for portability to multiple platforms.
Tracks the emulated CPU speed so it runs at the right speed even on the fastest processors.
32K memory expansion support.
Uses SDL for graphics, sound, and joysticks - supports X11 and Win32.
Full sound support (3 voices and noise).
Speech Synthesizer emulation.
Joystick support (uses your existing joysticks and/or emulation using the arrow keys).
Full screen or windowed mode.
Save/restore the complete computer state (So you can pick up that game you were playing right where you left off).
Save/restore the contents of memory-backed RAM (Mini-Memory, Gram Kracker™, etc…).
Support for Gram Kracker™ emulation (requires actual GK GROM images).
Emulation of the floppy disk controller (requires a TI disk controller ROM image). Allows read/write access to disk image files (currently limited to SSSD and DSSD images).

It even has tools to let you get down and dirty with the emulator and it's
roms.

Note: You need SDL in order to run this. You can get it from http://libsdl.org You also need the TI-99/4A ROMs which i have and will make available on xodian soon (http://xodian.net/ti994a/roms) and i'll have converted catridges for ti99sim at

Screenshots: (Taken from my friend Kevin's box, and yes my hands are burning because of the simple fact that it's a windows box It runs well on my laptop too)

Booting the TI-99/4A ROM

Here's a shot of me about to begin a game of Parsec

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Washington Congressman to try to Outlaw GNU General Public License??
Posted 10/23/2002 by

Hello everyone. A friend shared this with me tonight. It's an article from newsforge that everyone here should read.

These congressmen are attempting to outlaw the GNU General Public License, which gives users the right to license thier software freely, and give source code to the public in a manner that protects both the author and the consumer.

Here are highlights from the article:

"Leaders of the New Democrat Coalition attempt to outlaw GPL. A call to sign off on explicit rejection of "licenses that would prevent or discourage commercial adoption of promising cyber security technologies developed through federal R & D." has been issued by Adam Smith, Congressman for the Ninth District in the State of Washington.

It's already signed off on by Rep. Tom Davis(R-Va), Chairman of Government Reform Subcomittee on Technology, and Rep. Jim Turner (D-TX) Ranking Member of the same committee, with the backing of Rep. Jim Davis (D-FL), and Rep. Ron Kind (D-WI).

It's a note to fellow New Democrats under the guise of protecting commercial interest's right to make money from the fruits of federal R & D, and to sign off on an attached letter to Richard A. Clarke, Chair of the President's Critical Infrastructure.

They are attempting to convince Clarke, Chair of the President's that licensing terms such as "those in the GNU or GPL" are restrictive, preclude innovation, improvement, adoption and establishment of commercial IP rights.

Let's take a look at the highlights:

1) They use the Internet, by virtue of TCP/IP, as "proof" of their thesis.
2) They state that you cannot improve OR adopt OR commercialize GPL software.
3) They state that you cannot integrate GPL'd software with proprietery software.
4) They say you should keep publicly funded code away from the public sector, so that proprietary interests can make money from the work.
5) They equate a lack of understanding of the GPL with valid reasoning against it.

In essence, that non-proprietary interests should not be allowed to use, adopt, improve, or make money from the work. That taxpayers should pay for it twice. And that nobody should be able to stop commercial entities from taking publicly funded code, they will then close off.

I urge all of you to write these people as well as your local reps and urge them not to vote for this bill. They're trying to destroy our freedom!

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A Peak Into Archeron's Life
Posted 10/23/2002 by

This is an update as to my life and what has happened in the past few weeks. (Feel free to click out of this topic if you don't wish to read.)

[My Absence]: I have been absent from Sabatos.Net for a few weeks now for some unknown reason. www.tournament.com has been seemingly directing all of my attention towards it. I have posted 1000 posts in the past two months. :wacko:
I have also been busy with things like work(Food Service), Ladies(Girlfriend), School(Drowning in a puddle, yes puddle, of work), Mod Project- Moding Half-Life, and have been dealing with some depression problems. :cry:

[Mental State]: I am perfectly sane, I just suffer from seasonal depression. <_< I'll survive, and on a good note thoughts of suicide haven't overwhelmed me like they did last year, partially thanks to my girlfriend and many of my good friends. :)

I am feeling good right now and I believe the numbness that school has set on my mind is wearing off. I am pretty sure my wit has returned so watch out. :blink:

[Financial Status]: Working, FINALLY! :P

[Music]: I now have 1034 songs or 3.72 Gigs worth. I am singing and DJ/Mixing for a band.

[Gaming]: Nothing new... Counter Strike has become my replacement for Graal and I have become quite good at it. I finally got myself a copy of Unreal Tournament. I won't say how I aquired this copy but yes, I have been doing something other than edit Graal to form it into a Graal-esque version of Zelda. :rolleyes:

Started MODing Half-Life to create "Showtime Deathmatch" with a few friends who are fellow CSer's.

[Internet/Web Design]: Shocking news... I haven't done anything in the design field, more in the background and backbone of web development.

I need to redo the layout of my site and finally figure out its true purpose. I also need to bring back The K Problem and actually push it some to get visitors.

[Travel]: Nothing :cry:

[Sports]: Fall Hitting League for baseball

[School]: I am bringing those grades up and also, bringing up my meeger and disappointing overall 2.6GPA. :hmm:

German club, National Forensics League (Soon)

[Near Death Experiences]: Well, this may seem a little strange but, I have been almost hit by three cars, crushed by a tree, and almost fallen to my death in the past few weeks. =\
I'm ok now though. =)

[Political Views and Expression]: I have gotten involved in a few forms of expressing my political distatse with the practices of the U.S. Government and so on voicing my opinions about Capitolism and it's negative effects on the world. I'm not here to rant but if you ever want to debate with me on this, I love debates, IM me or PM me, whichever way you choose to bug me is ok by me. =)

[People You Love to Hate]: Now I don't hate people, I only dislike a few parts of a person because as was said in a cheap Disney movie, "You only see one side of a person at any given time so the nasty old lady one day could be the nicest person on the face of the Earth when they are stressed out."
Though I have this view of people I have come to dislike the "ghetto" population of the world, especially the majority, white rich kids from suburbia.

[Fashion]: Just as cheesy and old skool as ever. 8)

There's a little peak inside the life of Archie/R-chi/R-qui/Arch3r0n/Archeron. :)

Be sure to see more anytime soon. :D

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EVIL RONALD SIGHTED IN DAIRY DEPARTMENT!!!
Posted 10/20/2002 by

I was making my rounds throughout the store last night and came across the image to your right. Someone decided that "All American Icon" Ronald McDonald needed a makeover! (Or perhaps thats what Ronald REALLY looks like under the makeup!!) Regardless, I thought it was slightly humorous and decided to take a picture.
I am beginning to be upset with the quality of customers who frequent the store on overnights. I have been on this shift for almost Two months and have had hardly any worthy stories to share! Leave it to me to be stuck on an overnight tour of duty with lame, boring customers, who behave themselves!! Don't get me wrong, we still receive our fair share of morons and the like, we just havn't had any EXTRAORDINARY MORONS in the last few weeks!! I have to remember not to get to upset over it though. Halloween is almost here, and that usually brings in the strangest of the strange. And we musn't forget Christmas as well. The extra hustle and bustle will be sure to bring out the worst in quite a few people!

This is the same Ronald McDonald statue that a small child got stuck in only a year before!!

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Somthing Strange...
Posted 10/18/2002 by

I did a quick pass through the forums this morning and came across an interesting link for a supposed "true" unreported crime that happened sometime last year in England. Not sure if it is another clever guerrilla marketing scheme or perhaps the real deal. Decide for yourself by visiting jackandjill.tv. I'll be keeping my eye on this one for a while!

In other news I kicked "Phil" the tobacco demon around long enough to create a new links page and moved my hosted sites on the bar on the right. Expect more updates in the near future as I become even more motivated without the nasty harmful effects of tobacco in my bloodstream!

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Hello Again! Posted 10/16/2002 by
COME HERE FOR FREE NACHOS! Yes that URL is very nice, also this one is too, Nacho's For Newbies and also, the best selling SUPER NACHO CHEESE DELUXE NACHO BUCKET WITH BUILT IN NACHO DISPENSER (BUY NOW AND GET FREE HISTORY OF NACHOS DVD!!!) Yes, this is GOOD CLICKS! K THANKS DIE! Comment on this post in our forums.

No Updates This Week Thanks To Evil Tobacco Demon "Phil" Who Won't Let Me Concentrate!!!!
Posted 10/12/2002 by

Well, just like the title of this article reads, I am suffering from a severe lack of concentration from doing battle with "Phil" the tobaco demon and his friends! I tried several times this week to work on a few needed site upgrades. And every single time I found myself stopping the work and going on to somthing different! (Heck, this article alone has taken several hours to complete!!) The good news is that I have been free of chewing tobacco for over Ten days now. Just another Twenty to go and I will be without even my handy "NICOTINE PATCH THAT KEEPS ME SANE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH IGNORANT PEOPLE WHO WRITE BAD CHECKS BUT EXPECT THEIR BAD CHECKS TO GO THROUGH EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE SUKI CRIMINAL TYPES WHO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES BY YELLING AT POOR DEFENSELESS CSM TYPE PEOPLE"!! (OOPS! That just kind of slipped out.)

We are trying an experiment over the next few weeks in our forums concerning non registered users. In the past one had to be a member to reply to any of the posts in the forum. Now non members are able to post freely in the Feedback Area, and "The Dark" forums. Non members are also now able to reply to messages in the General forum but cannot start new topics. (This is an experiment requested by The Great Gazoo to prove or disprove that allowing non members to post in a forum will actually increase the number of active users in our forum. Gazoo also asked that we make sure that every single person who visits us knows exactly where the forums are and know exactly how to get there.) I should also mention that there is a quite entertaining thread in the forums which has Nachos and Ninjas doing battle to the death!!

In case you were beginning to wonder what kind of movies you can expect to see from Andy Davis at Empty House Film there are now Two clips!! The first clip is the "First Look" at his newest film The Dark and his second clip is the trailer for an earlier short film called The Pumkin Man. Check them out!!

Alright!! I will now stop my "no update" update as "Phil" is waving a yummy looking tub of tobacco at me so I must go take a cold shower before I succumb to it's tasty cancer like goodness!!

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New Game (SOON TO COME)
Posted 10/11/2002 by

Well, there has been alot of talk about the new upcoming game which shall be released in the near future, this game has the name of "Damasca" programmed by "Diaftau" and many others, made by a former "Graal" player, It shall remain free, if you want to get information about this game and other various topics, check out our "Message board" (click Message board on the right... duh!) and you shall gain info, screenshots, dev. journals etc, also, Matriark TerVel (our Linux GEEK) has offered to port it to linux, so everyone will be able to have a piece of the action so all you Penguin fans out there, it's your lucky day!

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SG111 VS THE TOBACCO DEMONS!!!!!
Posted 10/05/2002 by

Thats right folks. I have finally begun to face the monkey on my back. Well, actually it's not really a monkey. It's more like a demon. A TOBACCO DEMON He is the little guy who tries to keep me chewing tobacco. It was time to face him and enjoy the pleasures of NOT being a TOBACCO JUNKIE!! So on Oct. 2nd, armed with my MASTER PLAN THAT WILL NOT FAIL I became tobacco free! Well, kind of. I have tried this before and I realized that I needed some help. So I included "The Patch" in my master plan as well. This handy little device keeps me from randomly murdering people with my MIGHTY MORPHING NICOTINE FITS OF RAGE!!! I am also easier to get along with.

This little slice of nicotine heaven keeps me from randomly destroying customers!

I will be slapping these little 21mg patches of pure nicotine onto my skin for the next month. During this time I will learn not to put large chunks of plant material in my mouth in order to spit it back out. Once I run out of the really cool strong patches, I get to use the gradually smaller dose patches until I am THE WINNER OF LIFE and will not need such crutches!!

Perhaps in the future I will look back at this week and say somthing like, "Man, it sucks to be you" or somthing similar. But for now I can only wish that I had never caved in to PEER PRESSURE like these guys. Oh well, we reap what we sow. So time for me to eat some humble pie and get back to my project at hand.

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Boozy Reviews "Star Fox Adventures"
Posted 9/30/2002 by

Product: StarFox Adventures

Publisher: Nintendo

Developer: Rare

Genre: Adventure

Price: $49.96 (At your friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart!!)

Introduction:
Just two weeks ago the software giant, Microsoft, paid a hefty 375 million dollars to own in full the reputable game developer, Rare. For nearly two decades, Rare has been a developer known to make quality titles exclusively for Nintendo platforms. In 1996 or so, Nintendo bought 25% of the company, and later another 24%. Rare is best known for the development of Nintendo's smash-hit Donkey Kong Country Franchise, as well as its revolutionary FPS, GoldenEye, for the Nintendo 64. So, after such a lush history with Nintendo, does their last title live up to the incredibly high stature of previous Rare-developed games?

Gameplay:
As I'm sure most now, Rare has borrowed its game engine from the stellar fifth addition to the Legend of Zelda franchise, Ocarina of Time. With that in mind, it's essentially a guaranteed success. However, as opposed to Link's trusty bow and arrow, the lead character, Fox McCloud, is equipped with a magical staff on top of an entire arsenal of goodies. Fox uses his staff thought the adventure nearly exactly as Link uses his sword, bow, and magical arrows. As with the Zelda series, you're equipped with weapons and items along the way, including a child dinosaur that proves to be quite a valuable asset to your mission's success. Rather than continuously bore you on how the game is organized, I'll simply explain how well implemented the concepts are.

Perhaps the most disappointing factor of the game would be its combat system. You use the staff to beat down baddies, yet it is little more than mindless button smashing. You can perform multiple combos, however, it is as simple as moving the control stick in different directions. As if to add insult to injury, when fighting numerous baddies, only one will make a true assault on you at a time. Luckily, that is nearly the only place in which the game lacks. You walk, communicate, assign inventory units, and basically everything else exactly as you would in the Zelda universe. Thought not entirely original, don't think that it draws away from your overall enjoyment of the game. Implemented as well as could be expected, excluding of course Nintendo (who are the ones to continuously push the engine forward), you need not worry about the game engine at all.

The levels also seem to be vast and varied. You are dropped down into a lush forest area, and eventually, though the use of your Arwing (meaning yes, there are some classic style Star Fox levels in here) and a warpstone, you travel from snow mountains to hellish volcanoes. If you wanted variety, you've got it here. All complete with simple, yet rewarding and oftentimes-difficult puzzles.

Graphics:
Self-explanatory to anyone who has seen just one screen capture from the game. Rare, the masters of hardware, simply at their finest. The character models, above all else, are breathtaking. You can see individual strands of fur on Fox's body, and the scales of the tyrant dinosaurs. Amazingly enough, every other aspect, including environments, is equal to the character models. Rare's also managed to gain a near-solid framerate, double that of Nintendo's own Super Mario Sunshine. I've kept this section of the review pretty short and sweet, Rare's graphical expertise shows. This eye-candy of a game is surely Rare's finest, and it is heart stopping to even think that this was once a title in development for the Nintendo 64.

Sound:
Goody, Rare gets to shine once more! The voice acting, in my opinion, is the best showcased in any game to date. By the end of the first hour, you feel as if you personally know the character. As for the music, well, I'm already anticipating Nintendo's release of the soundtrack. It's simply amazing, and even moreso once you realize that it's not orchestrated. To spruce things up, Rare even has it running on Dolby Pro Logic II. Best sound, music, and voice acting of any game on the Gamecube, by far.

Final Outlook:
Of course, even with all this praise, the game is not perfect. You oftentimes have to deal with tedious fetch-quests, and awkward pacing, however, it all comes together. You've got flying levels, adventure levels, speeder levels, and much more, all implemented and strung together extremely well. If you own a Nintendo Gamecube, this is one title not to pass up. Being arguably best of the console, it makes the loss of Rare cut deep within the being of every Nintendo fan. Their ingenuity, above all else, shines in this spectacular rendition of two classic franchises. If you're looking for an extensive, engrossing, beautiful adventure title, look nowhere else but Star Fox Adventures. Though suffering from few minor faults, this game pays homage to both the Star Fox and Zelda series. In years to come, none other than The Legend of Zelda will rival this game. With their final joint-project with Nintendo, it seems as if they've put their heart and soul to into this title.

A must-buy for all Nintendo Gamecube owners.

Boozy's rating for this game: 9

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Questa Reviews Unreal Tournament 2003
Posted 9/30/2002 by

Product: Unreal Tournament 2003 (First Impressions ONLY)
Publisher: Infogrames
Created by: Digital Extremes
Requirements:
Operating System: WIN 98/ME/2000/XP
CPU: Pentium III or AMD Athlon 733MHz processor (*Pentium® or AMD 1.0 GHz or greater RECOMMENDED)
Memory: 128 MB RAM (256 MB RAM or greater RECOMMENDED)
Hard Disk Space: 3 GB
CD ROM or CD/DVD ROM: 8X
Audio System: Windows® compatible sound card (*Sound Blaster® Audigy(tm) series sound card RECOMMENDED) (NVIDIA® nForceT or other motherboards/soundcards containing the Dolby® Digital Interactive Content Encoder required for Dolby Digital audio. Also RECOMMENDED)
Video System: 3D Accelerator card with 16 MB VRAM (*32-128 MB VRAM RECOMMENDED) 16 MB TNT2-class DirectX® version 6 compliant video card. (*NVIDIA GeForce 2/ATI Radeon RECOMMENDED) DirectX® version 8.1 (Included on game disc)
Multiplayer: Internet (TCP/IP) and LAN (TCP/IP) play supported. *Internet play requires a 33.6 Kbps or faster modem

Homepage: www.unrealtournament2003.com

Holy sweet Unreal. This game will be gold... I can gurantee it. Wait a sec, I should probably tell you why it is going to be a great game! Well first of all, any quirks, annoyances, from the original UT are gone. Crappy death animations? Gone. Translocater madness? Gone. Dated Graphics? Gone.

Anyways, the multiplayer is of course the star of this show right now until the tournament mode becomes available in the full version. You can spend a lot of time in the multiplayer modes seriously. The game has a new feature called 'Adrenaline' and it is a worthy addition, what it does is it basically makes you stronger and faster the more you murder people or collect certain pills.(steroids?) It is great fun that the weapons names have changed from ultra generic to damned creative. Now, about the maps... They are awesome, so detailed and well designed. I am a big CTFer and I like my Capture the Flag maps really big! I get my wish with plenty of tunnels etc. in the Demo. All in all, this game will rule all other FPS's, all it needs is some vehicles!

Questa's rating for this game: 10

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Questa "Opens Our Eyes" to Goldfinger!!!
Posted 9/30/2002 by

This guest review was submittes by Questa

Product: CD by Goldfinger "Open Your Eyes"

Minimum requirements: A CD Player

Price: Prices may vary

Homepage: www.goldfingermusic.com

Goldfinger is one of my favorite bands of all time. Their newest album "Open your eyes" is a way different approach to what Goldfinger is usually doing. Goldfinger has been featured in a few games (Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1, MTV skateboarding, etc.) and their upbeat sounds are really fun and enjoyable...

This CD is titled "Open your eyes" not because it has something to do with stomping out a city (Goldfinger's 'Stomping Grounds' CD) but because they want to give you the message on how we are killing the environment! This was huge surprise to me... Usually the songs are about love and hate, these are about how animals are being killed for their fur and how we can prevent it! Though all of the cd isn't like this thankfully. The rest of the songs are really great and have good lyrics (IE: January, Radio) This CD is great and will be one of my favorites for years to come..

Questa's Rating of this CD: 9

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Questa Reviews Mandrake Linux!!
Posted 9/28/2002 by

The following review was submitted by Questa

Product: Mandrake Linux

Minimum Requirements: ???

Price: Free (Open Source)

Homepage: linux-mandrake.com

One of the easiest linux distros to use is also one of the slowest most bogged down one of them all... The installation is flashy and easy to do, but once that is done, booting up may take a long time for certain computers and some may experience an error in which their ethernet card isn't recognized on boot and must be re installed each time in the Mandrake control center. Another minus is that Mandrake 9 is basically the same as the 8 series except for little additions here and there. I prefer Red Hat over Mandrake, because Red Hat is a lot faster than Mandrake program-wise. Mandrake lags really bad here. When opening up a browser like Mozilla it can take 6 seconds to load on a fairly decent computer. This is unacceptable. The whole OS has a sluggish feeling and not nearly as fast as Windows. But the plus is that it is free, and easy enough for a newbie to learn. (If you want PHP with your web server, all you do is install it with Mandrake's package installer, you don't have to build the source code at all). In a nutshell, Mandrake is a newbie-to-linux's dream, it is a simple way of finding out what the whole Linux thing is about, but business managers beware that this thing won't serve your company's web site very fast at all...

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Misc Things
Posted 9/25/2002 by

Welcome back citizens! Things are moving along briskly here at Sabatos! Over three new subdomains have been added in the past week. I'll have their links added when they get orginized enough to present their content.

The Great Gazoo clued me in the other day on an issue with our icon image not working properly when people add us to their favorites. Thanks for the heads up guY! It's working great now! I have also been recently experimenting with a neat little fan fiction script that I found. Not quite sure that anyone would use it, but it will more than likely be available in the near future.

Speaking of scripts, I've found a few other little gems that I'll add soon as well. More on that later, but for now be sure to check back weekly for the latest installments of the Wal-Mart Overnight Journal of Doom!!

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WOJoD: Why You Should Never "WIN" Contests!!!
Posted 9/25/2002 by

The following happened this past spring while I was an assistant over softlines. No managers were permantly harmed in making this news post!

One of the things that I have picked up on over the past few years as a Wal-Mart assistant is that our folks love a good bet or contest! Sam Walton himself once lost a bet and had to do a hula dance on Wall Street, so come last spring when "Baby Days" came around I came up with a little contest myself that had some interesting results!!

We needed a way to raise a little money for Childrens Miracle Network and at the same time have a little fun with some of the management in our store. So I set up a "baby" contest. I had one of our talented door greeters make an adult sized baby bonnet and took pictures of all of our store's management with it on. Next, I set up a table with these photos and allowed associates and customers to "vote" by placing money in each persons bucket. The "winner" would have to ride a kids bike through the store in the bonnet with lots of publicity. (It was also going to be rigged so that our store manager would be the "winner" so we could have a little fun with him!) But as the weeks wore on somthing strange began to happen. The overnight associates had really got the contest and decided that they would ensure that Mark Hill, the overnight assistant at the time would win!! When the time came to tally up the votes, Mark Hill had an overwhelming majority of the funds raised!! (They really had it out for this guy!) So being the crafty individual that I am, I changed the rules to allow for a "winner" AND "loser"! The "loser" ended up being our store manager so he could drive around the store handing out store bonus checks in a heavily modified "people cart". But because the overnight associates had raised so much money for CMN I declared Mark Hill the "BIG WINNER" and allowed him to claim his prize! Below are the photos:

Todays Moral: Never and I mean NEVER allow yourself to be a big "Winner" in a Wal-Mart Contest!! Unless it is not rigged by me anyway!!

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Review: Soldier of Fortune
Posted 9/19/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Soldier of Fortune

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98/ME/NT 4.0-SP5
CPU: 233mhz
RAM: 64mb
VIDEO: 8MB 3-D Hardware Accelerator with full OpenGL support
AUDIO: 100% Windows 95/98/ME or NT-SP5-compatible
HARD DRIVE: 800mb
CDROM: 4x
HOMEPAGE: Soldier of Fortune

PRICE: $9.99
By Raven Software and Activision
Rated M for Mature

SoF

Hey everyone! Soldier of Fortune(2000) is a first-person shooter based on an old SNES game. The two games are nothing alike, except one of the characters from the original game shares a name with the main character that you play as. The game is rated M and with good reason. It is still one of the bloodiest and goriest games on the market. And thank god Raven went ahead and made it!
You play as John Mullins, a Vietnam veteran that now makes a little extra cash by making contract kills as a vigilante cop. At the beginning of each level you pick and choose which guns and items your going to bring with you, and in this game you can only take so much, you cant be pulling Turok style and take 5000 weapons with you. *single tear*
The graphics are awesome. As I stated before there is a ton of gore and blood in this game, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You NEED a 3D accelerator for this game, and there's good reason. The graphics are extremely well done and flow quite well on the screen, and its awesome when you splatter some poor bastards brains all over the wall!
The sounds are nothing to brag about, just your average FPS bang-bang's, and the music is piss poor.
The gameplay is another thing that rates an average in my book. But you do have the option to lean, which is pretty cool.
The one great thing about this game is how easily it can be taken to the online level, like half-life easy, without all the updating! Its also a really fun experience! Bots are included with the game!

Overall I gave the game a 74/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Cliché story line
Boring sounds
Horrible music
Nothing too exciting

"But why so high Tom?"
Awesome graphics
Good gameplay
Fun multiplayer
Bots
GORE and BLOOD!!
CHEAP

Good for: 70 hours or so of gameplay

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True History of Nachos Revealed!!!!!
Posted 9/17/2002 by

(This article originally appeared on July 7th, 2002 before our server crashed.)

The Classic Nacho sauce as it looks today

After several months of waiting, the veiled mystery of the true origin of the king of all food has been revealed!!! That is correct! The History Channel has finally replayed the history of fast food show they had on a while back. And this time I was ready. I taped the entire show and made notes on everything. When it comes right to it, we have a few select people to thank for those tsasty morsels we admire. Whether it be Ignacio Anaya, Frank Liberto, or Howard Cosell, all have made a huge impact on nachos acceptance to the mainstream! Here is an article that tells the tale quite well:

BY KAREN HARAM SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS-NEWS A fried tostado. Yellow cheese. A slice of jalapeno. So simple. So delicious. So monumental. Back in 1943, Ignacio "Nacho" assembled the first he had no idea that 60 years later, this appetizer would have made his nickname a household word. At that time, the senior Anaya was working at a restaurant owned by Rudolfo De Los Santos, the Victory Club in Piedras Negras, Mexico, just across the border from Eagle Pass, says his son Ignacio Anaya Jr. of Eagle Pass. As Anaya Jr. recalls the story, Mamie Finan and a group of 10 to 12 officers' wives, whose husbands were stationed at Fort Duncan Air Base, traveled across the border to eat at the Victory Club. When the senior Anaya couldn't find. the cook, he went into action. "My father was maitre d' and he said 'Let me go quick and fix something for you.' He went into the kitchen, picked up tostados,' grated some cheese on them - Wisconsin cheese, the round one - and put them under the Salamander (a broiling unit that quickly browns the top of foods). He pulled them out after a couple minutes, all melted, and put on a slice of jalapeno." - The name of the snack, Anaya Jr. says, came from Finan, who called the plate of cheese- and chile-topped chips Nacho's Especiales. The name was later shortened to simply "nachos." Anaya Sr. went on to work at the Moderno, which is still in business today, as well as his own Nacho's Restaurant in Piedras Negras. In 1960, Anaya Jr. looked into helping his father, who died in 1975, claim ownership of the nacho. "I talked to a lawyer in San Antonio. He said there's not much you can do after 17 years. It's in the public domain," Anaya Jr. says. As a tribute to his father, Anaya Jr. serves as a judge for an annual nacho competition held in Piedras Niegras me second weekend each October. There, nachos are topped with everything from huitlacoche to caviar. But his favorite remains the original nachos like his father made, though he gives high marks to beef and chicken nachos topped with guacamole. "That's a whole meal," he says. Anaya Sr.'s granddaughter, Cristina de Los Santos of San Antonio, says her grandfather died when she was in elementary school. But she remembers the leg-end of Nacho, and his nachos, as family lore. "When I was little, my family would always tell me the story," she says. Better yet, when she would go to her grandfather's restaurant in Piedras Negras, he would make nachos for her. "I didn't like cheese. He always made me bean nachos," she says. De Los Santos says her father, Anaya Jr., like her grandfather, "makes nachos real good. He makes them the original way." Though she doesn't have a recipe, she describes the process as follows: Tortilla chips, cut in triangles, are fried in what she calls shortening, not oil. The fried chips are salted, then topped with yellow cheese. The chips are run under the broiler, then topped with a slice of jalapeno. Although she's a fan of many types of nachos and occasionally orders them when dining out, the ones she gets today taste far different from those her grandfather made. "The chips are different," she says. "They're not homemade chips like he used to do. Or maybe it's the hands of the chef."

Now here is where the story gets even better. The tasty snack becomes a specialty in many restuarants in Southeren Texas but is virtually unknown anywhere else on the planet. That is until a gentleman by the name of Frank Liberto decided to try to sell the stuff as a concession stand item! He changed up the recipe by reformulating the cheese to be soft all the time and using simple tortilla chips. He began to sell his new version of nachos in 1977 in Arlington Stadium in Arlington Texas. but what really made the concept take off was a visit by "Monday Night Football" later that year. Before the game started they were offering the product in the reception area where Howard Cosell took a liking to the name. That night and for weeks after, Cossel and the rest of the "Monday Night Football" team worked the word nacho and the product itself in wherever they could! From there on out nachos quickly grew into the massive force they are today!!

Howard Cosell: Nachos ultimate champion!!

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Mysterious Powers of My "LUCKY PEN"!!!
Posted 9/17/2002 by

(This article orginally appeared on July 14th, 2002 before the server crash.)
Being the eccentric person I am, I have decided to forgo another game review with another subject a bit closer to my chest. Yes, instead of working hard to find you your free online game replacement, I'm going to discuss the mystical powers and abilities of my "LUCKY PEN ®"!!! I will also explain to you how you yourself, can have a "LUCKY PEN ®" of your very own!

The lucky pen has many strange and mystical powers! Most of these powers are top secret so I cannot explain them to you here. If I did the "INTERNET POLICE" would bust down my door before I could even complete the article!!! Yes indeed! The pen is very special and can do many wonderful things! As you can see on the here in the example, my lucky pen happens to be a Pilot G-2 model 7. BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT!!! The make and model of the pen is not what makes it lucky at all. There is somtthing entirely different that makes the pen special!! In fact, you can use almost any pen in the world as your very own "LUCKY PEN ®". (I would reccomend that it actually be capable of writing though!) The true secret to the lucky pen is that you are in possesion of it!! Thats right, just merely having the pen on you makes it lucky!

"My super lucky Pilot G-2"

But with all items that contain great power comes with it great responsibility. Since the key to keeping your "LUCKY PEN ®" lucky is to have it on you, losing your pen will render it's awesome power TOTALLY WORTHLESS!!! You must not lend your "LUCKY PEN ®" to anyone or risk the shame and humiliation of just having a regular Joe Schmoe pen that has no power!! You will be tested in this aspect every day. And let me tell you, there are many people who know the power of the pen and will stop at nothing to gain the EXTRA POWER from obtaining it by means of deception and trickery! (This is also known as the "dark side" of the pen, and can only lead to ultimate destruction!) Your best defense against this alliance of evil is to carry a spare non-lucky pen, or what I like to call a "DECEPTI-PEN" ®" handy at all times. This can be any type of pen as well, but your chances are better if it resembles your true "LUCKY PEN ®".

I'm sure you are curious by now on what other AWESOME POWERS the "LUCKY PEN ®" is capable of. Like I said before: I CANNOT TELL YOU OR THE INTERNET POLICE WILL GET ME!! But be rest assured, they are both awesome AND scary!! (If you run into too much trouble you can go to the customer service desk at any Wal-Mart and ask them. I do not know why they know but they do!)So go find yourself your very own "LUCKY PEN ®" and test it's mysterious powers out for yourself!!!

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WOJoD: Cougar Boy..... King of the Underworld!!!
Posted 9/15/2002 by

Although this week has mostly transpired with me dealing with "special needs" associates, I had to take a quick moment to fill you in on the latest wacko to visit my store. I like to call him COUGAR BOY: KING OF THE UNDERWORLD!!!

This Friday night started out like any other. My shift starts at 6pm and as you can well imagine, a Wal-Mart Supercenter gets quite busy around this time. I kept on the run quite a bit between catching calls and getting started on an "imperitve project" that needed to be done like yesterday. As I was running around I began to notice a strange phenomena. The usual crowd of college kids and tired adults was replaced with cowboy hats and Wrangler jeans. Had I been mysteriously transported to Texas? Nope, it was RODEO WEEKEND ESPECIAL!!! For those of you who have not experienced a rodeo crowd before let me fill you in. Rodeo crowds travel in either pairs of two or in large groups that I like to call "herds". Everywhere I looked, there were clusters of these folk shopping the poor selection of western wear, buying crappy country music, or standing in the tobacco register line waiting for their "chaw". I was screwed! These types of events lead to largescale chaos and extremely messed up departments from their toal lack of respect for the property!!
Suddenly I was bombarded with calls of unruly western shirted hooligans throughout the store! One call after another was either to run off a group or to assist them with their inane questions. Things were hectic for a bit.

A couple of hours later, things calmed down. Most of the "herds" had left, and I was getting back to the business of checking departments for "zone defense" (aka. a clean and orderly department.) About half way through the checklist I happened by the housewares department and began to walk off the area. As I walked down the main isle I kept hearing this awful noise. Continuing on, I see a fast purple blur speeding down the isle on the other side of the department. Now being the concerned manager guY that I am, I HAD to investigate. So I take off on an intersecting path to where this purple streak seemed to be heading. At the next isle I hear the stupid noise again. I peek around the corner and almost bust a gut laughing! It's COUGAR BOY: KING OF THE UNDERWORLD!!! Cougar boy had taken the liberty of trying on a few halloween items and was apparently trying them out. His outfit consisted of a full rubber cougar mask, a large purple velvet hooded cloak, and two "ninja style" lighted swords!! This was too much!

Well, apparently, the rubber mask of ole Cougar Boy didn't afford it much visability as I was right on top of him in short order before he could even see me. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Excuse me sir?

CB: Huh?

Me: What exactly are you doing?

CB: Um, trying out this neat halloween stuff?

Me: You wouldn't happen to be planning on purchasing any of that would you?

CB: Well, I was kinda thinking about it!

Me: So by "thinking about it" you mean running all over my store in a mask and hood, making noises and generally being obnoxious?

CB: Um....

Me: Do you realize that there are small children in this store who might be permanently traumatized by seeing a purple hooded cougar with lighted ninja swords?

CB: Well.... uh...

Me: Ditch the merchandise and come with me.

CB: Where are we going?

Me: "We", aren't going anywhere. "You", are leaving the store and not returning tonight.

CB: But I wasn't done shopping yet!

Me: You should of thought about that before donning that mask and running around like an idiot.

CB: But.. But..

Me: Have a nice evening sir.

CB: @#$% *%#!!!

Todays Lesson: Dressing up like a dark animal prince may SOUND GOOD, but acting on those impulses is really a bad idea!

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MIDI Hell!!!
Posted 9/12/2002 by

Tonight's mission was going to be simple enough. Track down some spicy latin MIDI files to use for the "ULTIMATE NACHO SITE". It started off easy enough with a few well placed Google searches and some MIDI archives. Then, as link after link was tried out I began to listen to a few tracks to see how they sounded. It was then that I realized that I had mistakenly traveled to MIDI HELL!!!

I had tried to locate a few music files before on some projects and knew that most MIDI sites were circa 1997 Geocities masterpieces of craptastic magnitutde. But what really chilled me to the bone was the sites one could find by going back a few pages in the search engine. THATS where the "sequenced by the webmaster" MIDIs live!!! Never in my life, had I heard such ubsurd renderings of ANY music in my life!!! From TV theme songs, to commercials, these butchers of the keyboard destroyed all that they emulated!!! Here are just a few of the pages I encountered while in this vile land of confusion:

Dynamic Web Creations
This site claims no ownership of the MIDIs involved, and actually looks decent. But as with most MIDI sites the music itself sucked!! What makes this one even MORE obnoxious is the insane number of songs from Britney Spears and the Backstreet BoyS!! AARRGGHH!! I must now stab my ear drums with a cotton swab to kill the memory of that awful noise!!!!

The next one...... aw screw it!! I've put myself through enough torture already! And even typing the links to these awful places will only encourage their breed to make even more evil MIDI sites!! Just take my word for it, MIDI sites are unnatural and you should avoid them at all costs!!!

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WOJoD Prequel: Hot Wheel Collecters from Hell!!
Posted 9/07/2002 by

Being that there is not alot of current craziness happening yet on my current assignment, I have decided to pull out a "prequel" story from my last overnight assignment in Iowa.

But first, a little background on this store "up north" and the customers who frequented it. "Unionville", (not the town's real name), was a small town with the population of approx fifteen thousand inhabitants. The fun part was, 98.9% of the population absolutely hated Wal-Mart, and would rather stick punji stakes in their hearts than shop there!! This, in my opinion, was the result of all the mindless babble spouting from the local union attached to the main factory in the area. Most of this towns citizens had either worked in this factory in the past, currently worked there, or had "retired" at the ripe age of 40. So you can imagine what a "positive" enviroment myself and others were subjected to on a daily basis!! Most of the associates in the store were good, hard working folk, and deserve a medal for all the crap they had to put up with.

But enough with all that, on with the story. In the lovely town of "Unionville" lived a very special breed of shopper: The Hot Wheel collector. Most stores have them. But this group was a bit more gung ho than others I have encountered before or since. The Hot Wheel collectors in this town were especially crafty, and quite gifted at being obnoxious, AND overbearing.

A typical night would begin with the truck unloaders bringing out pallets of freight for the various departments. Usually around this time a flock of balding, overweight, forty year olds would begin perching along the isles of the toy department. If you were unlucky enough to be walking by that area of the store you were bound to be approached by one. The typical conversation went somthing like this:

HWC 1: HEY MANAGER GUY!!!!!!

Me: "Whats up?"

HWC 1: "ARE THERE ANY HOTWHEELS COMING OUT TONIGHT??"

Me: *looks at invoices* "Doesn't appear to be any this evening."

HWC 1: "R U SURE? I THOUGHT I SAW SOME IN A CART THAT SOME GUY WAS PUSHING IN THE HALLWAY!!"

HWC 2: "THE MANAGER GUY IS LYING TO US!!! HE IS A SECRET COLLECTOR AND IS STEALING ALL THE TREASURE HUNTS FOR HIMSELF!!!"

Me: "I assure you sir, if there were any cars to put out, that they would be brought to the floor with the rest of the merchandise."

HWC 2: "YOU AND YOUR SUCKY ASS WAL-MART CAN GO TO HELL!!! I KNOW YOU ARE LETTING LARRY AND STEVE IN THE BACK DOOR AND THEY GET ALL THE GOOD CARS!!!"

Me: "Seriously guys, there are no HotWheels on the truck, but I did notice that some new barbie dolls came in."

HWC 2: "YOU CANNOT BE TRICKING ME!! I WANT TO GO TO THE BACKROOM AND SEE FOR MYSELF!!!"

Me: "Sorry, that is against store policy."

HWC 2: "JUST GO TO HELL YOU DAMN MANAGER TYPE!!! I ONLY SHOP HERE FOR THE HOTWHEELS AND BEER!!!" *storms away*

HWC 1: "LENNY IS AN ASS AND IS GONE NOW. SO YOU REALLY HAVE SOME YOU WERE HIDING FROM HIM SO I COULD HAVE THEM RIGHT?"

Me: "Really, we have no new cars to put out tonight."

HWC 1: "YOU STUPID @#$%!!!!!!! I WILL CALL THE HOME OFFICE AND TELL THEM WHAT A LOUSY @##$BAG YOU ARE FOR NOT GIVING ME NEW HOTWHEELS!!"

After a couple of months of this I had had enough and requested that we put new cars out at random times of the day to give everyone a fair chance to purchase them. This appeared to go well at first. After a few weeks, I started recieving complaints from several associates about a particularly bad collector. Seems he thought he would be able to bribe people into letting him in the back room where the cars were stored. I saw the guy a few nights later and confronted him on the issue. Of course, "He had no idea of what I was talking about" and suggested I should go screw myself. So being the nice guy that I am, I politely escorted him out of the store!!

Three days later I get called in the store manager's office. She informs me that the home office recieved a complaint about me stealing hotwheels from a "concerned customer". The customer also claimed that I was in cahoots with the toy department manager and that we were selling the stolen cars on the flea market circut!! Of course, I had done nothing wrong, so I sat down and told her about the customer from three days before. As you can imagine, I was getting pretty pissed about the whole situation. Here I am, trying to do my job, and this clown shoe is starting up crap about me and reporting it to my superiors!! Somthing had to be done. This guy was major trouble!!

So my store manager calls this guy up at home, and invites him to the store to visit with her about the whole situation. She starts out by asking him about his original complaint. So he launches into his whole EVIL BLACK HELICOPTORS ARE ALLOWING WAL-MART GUY TO STEAL HOTWHEELS TO RESELL AT FLEAMARKETS" song and dance. She then informs him of her findings after visiting with me and verifying my story with some security tapes. (He starts to look a bit pale by this time.) Next, she asks him about another incident. This one involves his bribery attempts. (Now the guy gets REALLY pale!!) She then informs him that he now permantly banned from our store and that if he doesn't leave the premises in exactly five minutes, that he will be charged with tresspassing!!! (Now he was absolutely ashen!!!)

Today's Moral - Being a greedy, lying, sniviling, HotWheel collector does not pay!! Especially when you try to cross a manager guy just trying to do his job!!!

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GOAL!!!
Posted 9/04/2002 by

What a friggin night! All Sabatos goals were accomplished! Here are just a few "Do Dahs" from the "to do" list from last night:

* Fixed time format on all pages. (It was all wiggity wack!)

* Reintegrated the downloads page. (No downloads online yet. I had to have somthing to do tomorrow!)

* The new User Review Form is online and ready for action!

* The Team bio page is ready to go. (I just need a few more bios and some more photos guys!)

* Finally got a poll up and going.

* Updated the links section and seperated the links in which one can link us. (I had to make a few 88x31 buttons myself for a few sites. If the owners of those sites don't care for mine, send me one that is more to your liking.)

* The News Archives are now back online. (No need to worrry about losing your favorite review!)

I still have a bit more to do tonight, including getting the review page to format correctly. Thats all for now, check back later for more updates!!

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XTux Arena
Posted 9/02/2002 by

Homepage: http://xtux.sourceforge.net

Minimum Requirements: P133 MHz CPU, X version 11, and a POSIX-compatible OS (Linux, *NIX, Cygwin...)

Download: http://ftp1.sourceforge.net/xtux/xtux-src-20010601.tar.gz

Other Languages Available: Depends on who makes the maps.

Highlights:
* You can kill people :)
* All the elements of an awesome game are there, except sound.
* Maps are in a Human-Readable format
* Graphics are XPMs :P

Screenshot:

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This Time, It's All About The Sabatos!!!
Posted 9/02/2002 by

After neglecting this site in favor of the forums and "The Dark" last week, my eyes are now on the prize! There is much unfinished business to attend to on Sabatos and I intend on completeing it!! (Note the key word intend. This means its OK if it doesn't really happen!!) But past that, just a bit of relaxing and chumming around are in order!

If you havn't seen the recent news on the right yet, I finally completed the first installment of an ongoing series entitled: "The Overnight Wal-Mart Journal of Doom!!!" This series chronicles some of the strange and twisted customers I encounter while doing another stint as an overnight manager. (It's quality stuff guY!) Also be on the lookout for a simplified web form to submit viewer made reviews! And of course, we will be republishing some of the great stories from the lost version of Sabatos as well! So kick back, and enjoy your Labor day!!!

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The Overnight Wal-Mart Journal of Doom!!!
Posted 9/01/2002 by

The rants section here has been up for quite a while but has yet to have been utilized. Ever since I went "legit" from Graal I really havn't had a lot to vent about. Well, that my friends is about to change!

As you may or may not know, I am an assistant manager for a Wal-Mart store in Missouri. I love my job, and enjoy working with the associates and other management in my store. Recently, I was assigned to work a six month stint as the "overnight" assistant. That in itself is not bad either. What makes it really interesting is the customers that come to visit during these shifts. One gets to see the absolete best, and the worst in humanity. These are my stories:

The Overnight Wal-Mart Journal of Doom!!!

Tonights guests of honor were "DOS SCOOTERBOYZ"!!
Right after I came in to work this evening I was notified by our instore detective that we had some unruly little children riding the razor scooters around the store. She had tried to get them to stop, but was ineffective. So a fellow manager guy and myself go to investigate. We get to the toy department and the detective points out the unruly little monsters to us. They have ditched the scooters for a football and have now proceeded to begin playing catch in the action alley, (thats the fancy Wal-Mart word for the big isle with all the displays of merchandise in it that goes along the departments.) As we come up to underage rednecks they notice us and begin to play innocent by hiding the football behind their back. We basically, let them know that they are not welcome in the store and that it isa time to leave. Amazingly, they think this is the funniest thing in the world, and say somthing to the effect of, "screw you guy". Of course, being the professionals that we are we announce that yes, you are being kicked out of the store, and no,you are not welcome to come back without a parent or gaurdian present. We then proceed to personally walk them out of the store and completely off the property and watch them run accross the highway to the trailer park whence they came!! (Yes, we have a trailer park right accross the street from the store! Scary isn't it?)

Todays moral: We are not a friggin baby sitter for turn key mutant children. Stay in the trailer park and smoke some crack or somthing!!

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Review: Tribes
Posted 8/29/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Tribes

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98, Windows NT 4 with Service Pack 3
CPU: Pentium 200
RAM: 32mb
VIDEO: DirectDraw compatible card (minimum SVGA 640x480 @ 256 colors)
AUDIO: DirectSound compatible sound cards
HARD DRIVE: About 170mb
CDROM: 4x CDROM
HOMEPAGE: Planet Tribes

PRICE: $9.99
By Dynamix and Sierra
Rated T for Teen

Well, I have yet another review for an out of date first person shooter! This one is called Tribes. Those of you who are into computer gaming have probably heard of this game, with good reason.
The game is based on "squad-warfare." Mostly capture the flag with teams. But this game has some extra goodies everyone can enjoy. Such as personal jet-packs, the purchasing of better equipment/weapons on the battle field, and most importantly; vehicles.
The graphics are good, even for an out-of-date game. And they run really smooth like, with minimal glitches. Fairly original look and feel too.
The sounds are ok, they're original, but glitchy. If they had taken more time on them they could have been great.
The game is made for the online experience. There is no single-player game besides the training, not even bot games. So if you buy this game, don't expect to have any fun without Internet access.
Now as I mentioned before, the game has vehicles. But that's what THEY call them. They're all flying crafts, none of them touch the ground. But there's a lot of them, and you can download more.
That's right, download more. This game has a ton of mods out for it, and can be easily edited. But don't worry, you wont have to spend your life downloading mods in order to play it online, when you connect to a game that is using a mod, you download all the models and things that this particular server is using that you require to play, and that's it. And this usually takes a matter of seconds even on a 33.6k connection!

Overall I gave the game a 80/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Glitchy sounds
No single player
No story line

"But why so high Tom?"
Good graphics
Great online experience
Very adaptable
Tons o' mods
CHEAP

Good for: 100+ hours of play (depending on modifications you get)

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Coke Studios (Freelance Submission by CKMIKE)
Posted 8/29/2002 by

Coke Studios ReviewWritten by CKMIKESabatos Freelance Writer

Click for larger image

Recently I checked the sabatos boards and Anthrax wassaying how cool this game was, so what the hell, coolgames are worth a try. So I go to www.cokemusic.comand sign up for coke studios. When you sign up you get5000 "decibels", decibels are like money. You can buyfurniture for your studio with them. You can also getan additional 3000 decibels for doing a survey. Soback to registration, you fill in your info (normalstuff) and then you get to create your online persona.You can change your guy/girl's hat, pants, hair,shoes, skin, and change around the colors of them. Nowits time to get in to the coke studios universe! Whenyou sign in you can choose which place you want to be,the official studios are locations on the earth (ex.new york, miami, london) and you can also go into theuser made studios. When you get into a studio, thereare various people talking to each other in textbubbles. You move around buy clicking on the floor.Usually in the user made studios people have beautycontests (meh). Now if you want to make your ownstudio you can browse through the online catalog theyhave to pick everything from wallpaper to coca colamemoribilia, all of these cost decibels. Your studiocomes with a free mixer so you can make your own tunesand burn them on discs you can buy from the catalog(its a form of saving them). When your finished youcan let other people go into your studio.Pros:*Provides good chat enviroment*Its Free!*You can make your own studio*You can create tunes.Cons:*The studios are often used for beauty contests*The chats are boring*After a while the game gets very boring.Score: 4 out of 10

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Linux Emulator Review: InfoNES v.0.78J
Posted 8/28/2002 by

Homepage: http://www.geocities.co.jp/SiliconValley/5604/infones.html

Platforms Supported: Linux
Other Languages Available: Japanese

This emulator has good rendering, and dosen't lag graphics-wise, but the sound isn't the best from what i've expierenced this far. Also you can't set the controls...

Highlights:

* Runs in a small X11 Window
* Handles NES Roms well
* Is open source :P

Screenshot:

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We as new as a new born sheep!!! Posted 8/26/2002 by
Ur.. got the subject wrong somewhere.. but.. forget that! Well, guY SGeeeOneOneOne is suffering from "cnatbakuptehsietcuziamfrenchbusinesman" syndrome... but oh well! We are off to a new start! Keep the hits flowing and sign up on the forums guY! Comment on this post in our forums.

Updates Forthcoming...
Posted 8/26/2002 by

Well, it's Monday night, and after one more long evening and some much needed sleep, I will be back at the task of completing the empty gaps on Sabatos!! Look for a many of the missing pages to go back online, and weather permitting, the reskinning of the forums as well! (I do have three days off in a row you know!!) Heck, I might even squeeze in some time to mow the yard and spackle the den! (Yes, I am a bit crazed from my madcap work schedule, so bear with me!)

A quick word on reviews:
For now, the viewable review limit will be set to 100 so all reviews can be seen. One of the tasks that need to be completed is an index to the reviews that will show them by catagory for easier viewing. (No need to freak out there Tom guY!)

I will also need at least a one paragraph bio on all current "Sabatos Especial" to include on the bios page tomorrow. Just send it to me via email if you can throw one together quick enough.

Thats enough for now, so stay tuned for updates!!!

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Linux Game Review: LinCity
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Homepage: http://www.floot.demon.co.uk/lincity.html

Platforms Supported: Linux, Win32, OS/2, AIX, HP-UX, Solaris 2.5.X, FreeBSD, IRIX, SCO

Download: http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~gsharp/lincity/lincity-1.11-patch1.tar.gz
Other Languages Available: Spanish

This game was kinda cool. It's fun for a while, but gets boring after too long. I had a lot of fun playing it, but had alot of things to do. This is a great game if you love SIMs like the Sim City for SNES.

Highlights:

* Many different items/advancements
* You can buy essentials on credit
* The fastest mode is fast as hell
* Has a great play value to it

Screenshot:

Click here for screen shot!!

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Linux Game Review: Supertux - Revenge In Redmond
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Homepage: http://www.newbreedsoftware.com/supertux/

Platforms Supported: Linux, Win32, BeOS, AmigaOS

Download: http://www.newbreedsoftware.com/supertux/download/

Other Languages Available: None

This is a good SMB clone, the levels are kinda wierd, but it has sound effects, music, etc. everything SMB had except mario of course

Highlights:

* None in particular

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I'm back and kickin ass!
Posted 8/25/2002 by

I'm back... and currently attending Diamond Oaks (A tech school here in Cincinnati). I'll have my A+ Hardware certification in a few weeks(deadline is the end of the semester), just need to refresh my memory. As for reviews, i'll be posting a few that i did.. I'm currently reviewing games for Linux, as to show people that there are many linux games out there!

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I apologize Posted 8/25/2002 by
Hello everyone. I wanted to apologize for what I just did. I basically flooded the review section with all my reviews. I didn't realize I was bumping everyone else's off the page! When I did I figured "No problem, we have the archive, so none of it will be lost!" Well I checked... seems the archive is down or something! So in conclusion, I'm sorry. Woops! Comment on this post in our forums.

Review: Unreal Tournament
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Unreal Tournament

The minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Microsoft Windows 95/98/2000/NT4
CPU: 233 MHz Pentium MMX or AMD K6 class computer. (266+mhz recommended)
RAM: 32mb (64 recommended)
GRAPHICS: 4 megabyte video card (3D accelerator recommended)
HARD DRIVE: 120mb hard drive space (605mb recommended)
INPUT DEVICES: 100% Windows 95/98 compatible mouse and keyboard
CD-ROM: Quad-speed (4x) CD-ROM drive
SOUND: Windows 95/98-compatible sound card (100% DirectX 7.0a- compatible)
NOTE: There's a downlowdable linux version available at www.unrealtournament.com

Price: $9.99
By GT Interactive, Epic Games, and Digital Extremes
Rated M for mature

Hello again, gots a new review for ya. Unreal Tournament(1999) is a first-person shooter game
based entirely off of multi-player Deathmatch.
Granted there is a single player mode and other game options besides Deathmatch, but
that's what it all boils down too, multi-player deathmatch.
The single player game is exactly like multi-player but with bots (super intelligent AI that
play almost as good as humans). Other games such as this are Quake 3: Arena and Turok: Rage Wars.
You make your way through the Tournament until you reign as supreme champion! There are
different modes to play; Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Capture the Flag, Domination, and Assault.

The game has weapons from the original Unreal as well as some new ones. Weapons such as pistols, rifles, rocket launchers, and the ever fun to use Chainsaw. Unreal Tournament is supposed to be set in the future, so most of the guns are completely made up, except for the chainsaw and sniper rifle. The level design is truly superb, plus they supply a level editor to make your own unique levels.

Unreal Tournament's graphics are very impressive. But in order to make them that way the game
demands a lot from your computer. Don't plan to multi-task with this bad-boy running, unless
your running above and beyond the minimum requirements.

The sound is crisp and clear, the voice over's are good, but it's all so generic, kind of a
cliché sound set-up, I guess you could call it. They could have done better.

When you bring the game online it has a hard time, it really likes to lag. Your going to need
a really good computer with at least DSL Internet connection to actually have fun online with
this game.

Now when this game truly shines is when you take in account all the mods, mutators, and
total conversions. It must be easy to do because there's more than half-life!
Why are the mods so important? Because the game can get boring REAL fast. Its really repetitive.
So the more mutators and mods you have, the better off you are.

The game is also a hit on most of the newer consoles, from Sega Dreamcast up.

Overall I give the game an 82/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Gets boring fast
Generic Sounds
Demanding Game

"But why so high Tom?"
Tons of mods
Impressive graphics
Online capability's
CHEAP

Good for: 60 hours of exciting gameplay (until you get modifications for the game, then the fun
can be endless)

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Review: The Sims
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Review:
Product name: The Sims

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98
CPU: 233 Mhz or faster Intel Pentium processor or AMD K6
RAM: 32mb
VIDEO: DirectX 7 Certified 2MB Video Card, 16-bit Color Capable
AUDIO: DirectX 7 Certified Sound card
HARD DRIVE: 300mb
CDROM: 4x or faster
HOMEPAGE: The Sims

PRICE: $39.99
By Maxis and Electronic Arts
Rated T for Teen

Hey everyone! I'm sure you have heard of this game. Its called The Sims(1999). This baby will get
you addicted quick, but its real easy to kick the habit.
Its called a "god-game" because of the fact that you control everything. Environment, housing,
landscape, and of course, the people. That's right, unlike other "god-games", this one revolves
around the PEOPLE, not the world. Which is cause for some mighty fun and humor.

The graphics are great. They're clean and smooth, makes you think "Wow, they're pretty good
graphics for an older game."

The sounds are tres bein(very good). But what's most humorous about the game is how it can be
in ANY language, and you wouldn't be able to tell. For the people talk in Gibberish. The non
existent language! Pretty cool if you ask me.

The game is just click and play. You build a house, build a family, play with peoples minds and
emotions until they're perfectly insane or pathetically normal. All with the click of the mouse.

The game doesn't include an online mode of play. There will be an add-on for The Sims Online, but
not for awhile and it will cost an extra 30 bucks, just like all the other add-ons.

That's another thing, the game has about 5 add-ons right now, and you can download even more
crap for it off the INTERNET (That ones for you Space Ghost). So the game can have some added
play time. Which is good, because the game is really fun and new and interesting at first, so
you play it to death, until you have an overdose of Sim life and just... stop playing. Weird but
true. It could happen to you!

Overall I gave the game a 64/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Gets boring fast
Expensive for an older game
No multi-play

"But why so high Tom?"
Nice graphics
Nice sounds
Fun at first
Bunch of add-ons and downloads

Good for: 20-50 hours of play. (depending on add-ons and downloads)

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Review: Rune
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Rune

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98/ME/2000/NT with Service Pack 3
CPU: AMD K6-2 300Mhz, PII 300Mhz or Celeron 300A
RAM: 64mb
VIDEO: PCI/AGP Video Card with at least 8MB of Memory (3D Accelerator HIGHLY recommended)
AUDIO: Direct X Compatible Card (EAX and A3D supported)
HARD DRIVE: 200mb
CDROM: 4x
HOMEPAGE: Rune

PRICE: $9.99
By HumanHead Studios, Take2, Gathering Of Developers
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! This game Rune is a third-person slash-em-up. Players take on the role of Ragnar
the Viking, a young warrior about to enter into manhood and take his rightful place next to his
father as a warrior of his village. The game is filled with Viking mythology and historical fact.
An amazing time piece.

The graphics are nothing to scream about, but they ARE good. Just a little out of date now. Fully
3d and rich if you use graphic acceleration.

The sounds are basically the same. Good but not WOW.

The story line is where this game shines. As I said before you play as a Viking, and you wind up
taking part in a gigantic quest. But I don't want to give too much away. Lets just say vengeance
can be a sweet thing.

The game has an amazingly fun and addictive multi-player mode. No hassle. Just play online, then
when your done, leave. But its a sure thing if your looking for something a little different to
play online. Jumping through the air while blocking with your shield, just so you can come down
on top of your opponent and slash his head off, is something to look foreword too!

The game is one of those "play for awhile, leave it, come back for awhile, leave it, etc., etc."
kind of games, but it can get real interesting if you take into account all the add-ons
and mods you can get for the game.

Overall I gave the game a 79/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Blah sounds
Blah graphics
Out of date

"But why so high Tom?"
Great multi-player
Good story line
Plenty of MODs for download
CHEAP

Good for: 100+ hours of gameplay

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Review: Quake 3
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Quake 3: Arena

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98/ NT 4.0
CPU: 233 MHZ with 8mb video card
RAM: 64mb
VIDEO: 3-D Hardware Accelerator with full OpenGL support
AUDIO: 100% DirectX 3.0 or higher compatible sound card
HARD DRIVE: 800mb
CDROM: 4x CD-ROM
HOMEPAGE: Quake III

PRICE: $30.00
By ID Software and Activision
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! Got a new review for you. This one is for the ever popular multi-player based,
first-person deathmatch game, Quake 3: Arena(1999). This game is so popular, I just had to buy
it! Plus I'm a fan of the first two. And let me tell ya, this one kind of disappointed me. Sure
the graphics are good, and the sound, and the gameplay. But it got rather boring, quick.

You play as a character you select, each with their own story (in the manual) and each with their
own look. You enter what's called the "Arena Eternal", otherwise known as a level for a big
deathmatch. There isn't much too it, you kill them, they kill you. Badabing-Badaboom, the end.

As I stated before, the graphics are quite good in this game, real nasty gore, awesome lighting
effects, and smooth-rolling environments.

The sounds are like every other quake game, just a little tweaked to fit today's standards. They
were good to begin with, so now they're even better.

Multiplayer is key if you wish to have fun with this game, playing it by yourself is boring and
lonesome. Its more fun to frag then taunt, rather than to frag then... frag. If you have a slow
connection, plan to see your blood smeared all over the walls.

Bottom line is this, if you already own Unreal Tournament, don't get this. And vice-versa. They're
practically identical but Quake3 is more gothic where Unreal Tournament is more skill based.

Overall I gave the game a 67/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Boring fast
Lazy and stupid AI
Expensive

"But why so high Tom?"
Good graphics
Good sound
Good idea
GORE

Good for: 20 hours of gameplay

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Review: Blood 2
Posted 8/25/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Blood 2 - The Chosen

Minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98
CPU: 166mhz or better
RAM: 32mb
VIDEO: DirectX 6.0 or above compliant 3D accelerator card
AUDIO: 100% Soundblaster Compatible
HARD DRIVE: 200mb
CDROM: 4X CDROM
HOMEPAGE: Blood 2

PRICE: $9.99
By GT Interactive and Monolith Productions
Rated M for Mature

Hey everyone! I bought this game a long time ago, and thought I would share it with you folks!
Blood 2(1998) is the sequel to the ever popular game Blood! It features all the weapons from
the original game, but with all new levels and graphics.
You play as one of the Chosen, an elite group of Devil worshipers who were backstabed in the
original game. Only this time you don't just play as Caleb, you can pick any of the four original
Chosen. Each with a different weapon set-up.

The graphics are rich and smooth running, compared to the original game (that was built on the
Duke Nukem engine, BUILD) they are a god send. But not to be compared with any new games, because if you do that, then Blood 2's graphics are also low quality. So don't do it! Compare it to
other 1998 games.

The sounds were beautifully mastered, all original. They even have the same voice actor who
played Caleb in the original game, which is wicked neato by golly!

The gameplay is set-up just like every other first-person shooter. Simple and effective.

The game also has online capability's, but no one plays it anymore.
It also comes with a level editor, to build your own unique levels! Which also means there's tons
of them online available for download!

Overall I gave the game a 60/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Out of date
Gets kind of boring after awhile

"But why so high Tom?"
Nice graphics
Awesome sounds
Smooth gameplay
CHEAP

Good for: 50 hours of gameplay

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Archeron's MixTape
Posted 8/23/2002 by

I would like to anounce the opening of Archeron's MixTape.
It is a shoutcast radio station I have put up with music ranging from System of a Down to Billy Joel to Bob Marley. Anything and Everything gets air time from Classical to Classic Rock to Modern Alternative Rock!

You can find it at http://24.210.244.154:8000

This station will be up as long as my computer is running.

Stay tuned for great music.

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New Hosted Site: Empty House Films
Posted 8/23/2002 by

A few weeks ago I was made aware of a need from one of our "Sabatos Especial" concerning an independant movie project. Tom Kane's brother in law was creating a film called "The Dark". I asked a few more questions about it and was linked to the site. After reading the script I decided to donate some time and a bit of webspace to the endeavor. You can get a sneak peek at the new site for the movie here. There are quite a few pages left to finish, but it gives you a general idea of how it will come together.

Of course, this means that the ULTIMATE NACHO SITE will be delayed again. But not to worry folks, for it will be complete one day and it will RULE TEH INTRANET!!!

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Forums Online!!!
Posted 8/21/2002 by

The new forums have been installed, and appear to be working properly. Since the database for the old forums was gone anyway, I went ahead and loaded up a fresh install of Invision Board. (It has not been "sabotized" yet, so the colors are still all bright and cheerful!) Thanks to those intrepid heros at Google, some reviews were able to be saved through the power of GOOGLE CACHE and were loaded up a few hours ago. More to come!!

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Phantasy Star Online (Originally reviewed by Justin)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Phantasy Star. The name alone brings back insant memories of Sega's golden age, as far back as the pre-16 bit days with their release of PS for the Master System. People have grown up on these games, some going as far to label them as the best RPG ever to grace a console. Indeed, the back history goes far, but nothing in the 4 game series could ever top the pure addiction that is Phantasy Star Online.

PSO, is it's commonly reffered to, started out as a humble Dreamcast game back when the DC was still a very much alive system. It was met with instant glee and glowing reviews, despite it's repetitive nature. A Diablo clone for the dreamcast, in essence. Players would troll around 4 stages, each with 2 or 3 substages each ending with a boss. However, the game's charm came in it's multiplayer teamwork aspect, as you could partner up with 3 other friends from across the world and tackle each stage with your own individual character. You were basically given a class and race to choose, although Sega mysteriously left the gender thing to specific classes (You could'nt make a male Newman Hunter, only female). But this was only a small thorn in PSO's massively large side. The quest to reach level 100, find rare weapons, and to communicate with strange new people was the main draw to the game...

Eventually, the game got old and players started to do other things. However, more players left due to the new threat of cheaters and malicious users with the aid of the Gameshark. Before PSO, people saw gameshark as a simple way to enjoy a game you either sucked at or just felt like cheating with. Anyone who has spent some time on Ragol (The setting for PSO) will tell you that the GS was evil in it's purest form. Incredibly evil...

Sega sought to strike out both issues with the release of PSO version 2. The gamers rejoiced. Now all the problems and plagues of the original would be solved... or so they hoped. With v2, Sega added a new cheating safeguard which checked to see if a user had the gameshark memory card attached to their controller, as well as a new banning system which had success in it's early days. This was all thwarted by the up and coming Code Breaker device. More and more players felt the sting of cheaters, v1 and 2 alike. Newer glitches and exploits were found as the days passed, but most daring players still played regardless. Version 2 also came with 2 new modes: Challenge mode and Battle mode. Both were very entertaining, and still are. I'm still a challenge whore myself. Cheating is virtually non-existant in challenge, as cheaters generally make teams with their intent to cheat made public, thus eliminating the inconvenience of "accidentally" stumbling upon one. Battle mode, however, is plagued with cheaters in some cases, but it's not that big a deal.

As you may know, Sega has been developing versions of the game for Gamecube and XBOX, both which are coming out this year. The cheating aspect is devoid for now, as Interact has not yet released a GS for either platform. There is also a PC version which is available in japanese at the moment.

For more information, visit PSO World. You can find me slumming around Miranda 7 online as *YOU GUESSED IT!!!* Justin.

Happy Hack-n-slashin'.

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Helbreath (Originally reviewed by The Great Gazoo)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Game Name: Helbreath
Price: Fully Free, No Special Accounts, Nothing.
Software Size: 111 Mega-bytes.
Requirements: 128+ Megs Ram, 500 MhZ, Standards.
Visuals: Stunning.
Sounds: Standard.
Mass Multiplay Game?: Yes.
Screenshots:

Yes, I kept talking about this game for about 4 days, I went through alot to get this, the game was mainly Korean, yeh, I'm surprised too, but the international English translation is good, The game looks to still be In forms of Beta, it is FULLY free, no special accounts, nothing, The start can be a bit boring but then when you travel to different places the fun begins, a Diablo/Diablo 2/Dungeon Siege fanatic will find this game very good. Well, when you download it, I URGE YOU, to fill in some entries into the Comments box, and also, Give it a rating you think it deserves, thanks.

Have fun playing!

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Sidetracked At Sodaplay!!!!
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Product: Soda Play

Homepage: Sodaplay.com

Price: FREE

Screenshot: N/A

Although this has been around for a while and is not quite what I was searching for, it DID make me loose about four hours of my day playing with it! For the uninitiated, Sodaplay is a java applet that allows you to apply real world physics to sticks and dots that combine to form unique objects. One can take a simple triangle and add places on it to flex like a joint, then watch it try to move with the effects of friction, gravity and the like to intereact with it. You can opt to keep gravity on your object, or kill it and watch it float in space! There are also options that allow you to control the friction, and the speed at which the flexible areas move. I've yet to do well enough as to make an object than can effectively walk, but I'm still trying!

although this little diversion could never replace the need for a community driven action/chat client/rpg, it does provide some minor amusement and should be enjoyed for what it is.

I give it a rating of eight out of ten. Be sure to check it out yourself and rate it yourself!

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Parasite Eve 2 (Originally reviewed by Archeron)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Game Name: Parasite Eve 2
Producer: Squaresoft
Price: I bought is previously played for $6 at BlockBuster
Platform: Playstation
Discs: 2

Yes that is right...I just bought Parasite Eve 2 for the Playstation Gaming Console! The best part of it was it was only $6 at BlockBuster in the Pre-Played Games Section. What made it even better of a deal was it was never opened, yes that's right, still in the shrink wrap.

You could imagine my suprise when I found in this condition for that low of a price but you won't know how I felt when I popped the dic in and started playing. There were no stunning intro graphics, just a GREAT opening movie. This game is a definite keeper and is a must purchase for those Playstation Junkies like me out there who have beaten Fear Effect 1 and 2 and need a good first person shooter. Now you must be thinking, wait Resident Evil was great and follows the same basic stroyline(Chick killing Creatures) but no, this has a well written storyline that is consistent with Parasite Eve(1).

If you are looking for a first person shooter to fill your time that has weird creatures, an attractive main character, and sick cut scenes this is the game for you!

Gameplay is a little dodgey with jerky motion and weird camera angles(Same movement and angles as Fear Effect 1 & 2) but if you get into this game you get used to is quickly and can play for hours.

Graphics: Overall 9
Scenery:10
Characters:8

Gameplay: Overall 8
In Play Menus:10
Fighting: 10
Movement:8
Camera Angles:8

Sound: Overall 8
Music: 9
Sound FX: 10
One problem is you can't hear the characters voices in the cut scenes.

Overall I rate it a: 9

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"BYOND" False Hope!!!
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Product Name: BYOND
Homepage: byond.com
Price: Free
Screenshot: N/A

My latest stop in the quest for free online games brought me to a little used corner of the "INTERNET" this week. While searching for game engines and such I came across a little place called "BYOND". BYOND appears to be a type of home brewed game coding language and engine with at least a moderate following. Users of this system are required to download a client as well as have access to the programming language directly. Now being the good scientist that I am, (and also because it said FREE!!), I did download the client and the subsequent libraries. From there I promptly found a list of current games for folks to play that were created by the community, and was sadly disappointed. I would have assumed that at least the creators of the system would have made at least ONE decent game themselves to show the "power" of their language and system! This was not the case. Instead, I was treated to a particularly crappy multiplayer version of 8 bit Dragon Warrior and several awful renditions of Dragon Ball Z battle servers!! (There several other games as well, but just about all of them sucked to me!)

Now, as I was completely turned off by the current game selection I did not even bother to check out the programming language itself. There might be somthing to it, but I find it highly unlikely. The controls of every game were choppy and not even close to being precise. And the graphics were almost always too small to show enough detail to hold my interest for more than a few moments. I would rather look at this than continue on with the games contained in this project!!

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Fragmere (Originally reviewed by Matriark TerVel)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Product Name: Fragmere
Homepage: fragmere.com
Price: Free
Screenshot: N/A

It's a free Isometric 3D Gaming Engine, similar to what i want to accomplish with my project, although this is alot farther along.

There are screenshots on the site as well as a Win32 Client, and a Win32 & Linux Server for download. I haven't tried it yet, as there is no linux client to date, but i'm still hoping that one will be made.

Some excerpts from the FAQ:

Q: Will Fragmere ever cost money?
A: I would like to keep it free.

Q: Can I have the source code?
A: The source code is not available to the general public. You've
gotta understand something here, we have been working on this
thing for over a year now, and I just don't feel like handing it
out all over the net. I may release
portions of the code for review at a later time when we get
closer to the final release. If you are interested in porting the
program to different platform, please email me and we can discuss
it.
- Other wise, the program is Copyrighted (c) 2001 Seth T. Parson

Looks Promising!

NOTE: I did try it with WineX and it works fine except that the gui lags a little, and it dosen't restore the screen mode when it's done

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Review: Hitman: Codename-47 (Originally reviewed by Tom Kane)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Hitman Codename-47

The minimum system requirements are as follows:
COMPUTER: IBM PC or 100% compatible
OPERATING SYSTEM: Microsoft Windows 95/98/ME
CPU: Pentium II 300 MHz
RAM: 64Mb
GRAPHICS: 100% DirectX 7.0a-compatible 3d Accelerated Card with 12Mb VRAM
SOUND: Windows 95/98-compatible sound card (100% DirectX 7.0a- compatible)
CD-ROM: Quad-speed (4x) CD-ROM drive
HARD DRIVE: 400Mb free uncompressed disk space
INPUT DEVICES: 100% Windows 95/98 compatible mouse and keyboard

Price: $29.99
By Eidos Interactive and IO Interactive
Rated M for mature

Hey everyone. I got this game awhile back called Hitman Codename-47(2000). If you like the idea of a game that has a delicate balance of action and stealth, than this game is for you.
You play as (you guessed it) a hitman during our time period. With an arsenal to be reckoned with, such as pistols, shotguns, sniper-rifles, machine guns, and of course, fibber-wire to strangle your foe without anyone being the wiser. You also have the ability to take clothes off of the people you kill, then drag their body into the sewer so no one catches on. Sick yet wonderful. Why? Well, you have to make your hit and make your way out without being killed or in some instances even spotted!
The first level you play in is a training mode. Which is absolutely useless except to get used to maneuvering our hitman about. The games third-person view takes a little getting usedtoo. Unless you've played games such as Max Payne or... well, Max Payne.

Once the actual game starts, you start off in Hong Kong. Your client has requested that you make a hit on a well known gangster during a meeting with a rival gang. Which makes for a good storyline in the long run.

The game itself is a visual feast. The graphics are so smooth and beautiful, you'll wet your self the first time you play (at least I did). Whatever engine they used to build this game they need to stick with.The sound effects in this game are superb, the guns are as realistic sounding as looking...
and then someone talks. You can see that this game was either a translation or they got a monkey to work voice over timing (and yes, it's a translation, but a horrible one).

The biggest downfall for Hitman is its non-existent multi-player mode. That’s right folks, no multi-play.In my book that’s like having toast without butter (or jelly if your some kind of freak).

The game retails for about 30 bucks. You'll have to shop around for the best deal, I'm sure the prices will be dropping with the release of Hitman 2.

Overall I give the game a 70/100.
"But why so low Tom?"
No multi-play
Bad voice over
Useless training mode

"But why so high Tom?"
Awesome graphics
Nice level design
Great sound effects
Guns Akimbo!
Smooth gameplay

Good for: 96 hours of exciting gameplay.

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Review: Shogun: Total War (Originally reviewed by Tom Kane)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Review:
Product Name: Shogun Total War

The minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95 or Windows 98 (Windows NT is not supported)
CPU: 233MHz or faster Intel Pentium MMX or AMD K6 processor
RAM: 32 MB RAM with supported 3D accelerator card
CDROM: 4x or faster CD-ROM/DVD-ROM drive
HARD DRIVE: 500 MB free hard disk space plus space for saved games
VIDEO: High Color (16-bit) capable 4MB PCI or AGP video card with DirectX 7 compatible driver
SOUND: DirectX 7 compatible sound card
NOTE: Requires Windows Media Player 6.0 or higher (not on CD; available at www.microsoft.com)

Price: $9.99
By Elecrtonic Arts, Creative Assembly and Dreamtime Interactive
Rated T for teen

Yet another review on a game I have had for awhile but finally got the gumption to play it. Let me tell you folks, I wish I had started playing a long time ago.
The game is Shogun: Total War(2000) and it's a run of the mill real-time stratagey game, but with samurai.

It takes place in Japan, 1542. When the samurai legacy was near an end. The land is in turmoil and you have just been placed the honor of your fathers army. Now you must use it to crush your enemies and rise to become SHOGUN.
You attack base camps, palaces, random points of grass. You also do a hefty ammount of defnding too. There can be over 5000 samurai clashing on the battlefield at once! Hows that for a test on your processor?

The game has a very useful training mode that explains everything to you. Thats really good considering this game has a lot of features. Like grouping, attacking, defending, formations, etc. etc.

The graphics are really impressive, its all very clean and crisp, really sets the mood for the game. I dont really have anything bad to say about them.

The sounds appear to all be new and created especially for the game. They sound great too, but since the camera is so high up you can barley hear it, wich isnt cool.
The voice overs are great, they speak english but they got people who have REAL japanese accents, not that annoying fake crap. God I hate fake accents.... you know what else? Midgits scare me..
enough of that...

The gameplay is hard to get used too, infact I dont like it at all. Involves a lot of right click menu stuff. No fun, no good.

The game itself has no difficultie settings, and I (supreme gamer of the world) am having difficultie winning. It can be done, but you need a lot of practice.

And of course, it has multi-play. Easy to access, easy to use, all around a fun expeirience.

The game comes on 2 CD's, so once your done playing through ALL those battles, theres always online!

Overall I gave the game an 65/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Bad gameplay
Barley legible sounds
Difficult as hell

"But why so high Tom?"
Impressive graphics
Nice voice-over's
Multi-player mode available
CHEAP

Good for: 100 hours of not-so exciting gameplay

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Postal PLUS (originally reviewed by Tom Kane)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Postal

System requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows 95/98/NT4/2000
CPU: Pentium 166mhz
RAM: 32mb
VIDEO: 256 color SVGA (640x480)
AUDIO: Sound Blaster 16-bit or compatible
HARD DRIVE: 300mb

Price: $6.00
By Running With Scissors and Softek International
Rated M for mature

Hey everyone, I have this game now, this horrible horrible peice of crap game, that I bought in a bargain bin for 6 bucks. Its called
Postal PLUS(2000), the PLUS is for some expansion levels that came
with it called "Sepcial Delivery."
The game sucks. One of those "you got what you paid for" kind of
deals.

The graphics are horrible. They have almost 3d-models on a hand drawn background, like a really horrible and cheap version of Resident Evil
or something.

The sounds are all crappy, but I have to admit I enjoyed the voice overs, untill your charectar started hurling racial slurs in the air
every time you killed a black person. That was horrible.

The only thing thats good about this game is the shere mayhem you can induce. Like throwing molotav cocktails into a marching band, or
shooting poeple as you walk down the street. And that gets old my
friends.

There is a multi-player mode, but I didn't even bother with it. You can also make your own levels too, I didn't bother with that either.

Overall I gave the game a 20/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Horrible graphics
Bad sounds
Racial slurs
Boring

"But why so high Tom?"
Funny at first
Good concept, just executed poorly
CHEAP

Good for: 5 hours of gameplay

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Unreal Tournament (originally reviewed by Tom Kane)
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Review:
Product name: Unreal Tournament

The minimum system requirements are as follows:
OPERATING SYSTEM: Microsoft Windows 95/98/2000/NT4
CPU: 233 MHz Pentium MMX or AMD K6 class computer. (266+mhz recommended)
RAM: 32mb (64 recommended)
GRAPHICS: 4 megabyte video card (3D accelerator recommended)
HARD DRIVE: 120mb hard drive space (605mb recommended)
INPUT DEVICES: 100% Windows 95/98 compatible mouse and keyboard
CD-ROM: Quad-speed (4x) CD-ROM drive
SOUND: Windows 95/98-compatible sound card (100% DirectX 7.0a- compatible)
NOTE: There's a downlowdable linux version available at www.unrealtournament.com

Price: $9.99
By GT Interactive, Epic Games, and Digital Extremes
Rated M for mature

Hello again, gots a new review for ya. Unreal Tournament(1999) is a first-person shooter game based entirely off of multi-player Deathmatch. Granted there is a single player mode and other game options besides Deathmatch, but that's what it all boils down too, multi-player deathmatch.
The single player game is exactly like multi-player but with bots (super intelligent AI that play almost as good as humans). Other games such as this are Quake 3: Arena and Turok: Rage Wars.
You make your way through the Tournament untill you reign as supreme champion! There are different modes to play; Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Capture the Flag, Domination, and Assault.

The game has weapons from the original Unreal as well as some new ones. Weapons such as pistols, rifles, rocket launchers, and the ever fun to use Chainsaw. Unreal Tournament is supposed to be set in the future, so most of the guns are completely made up, except for the chainsaw and sniper rifle.
The level design is truly superb, plus they supply a level editor to make your own unique levels.

Unreal Tournament's graphics are very impressive. But in order to make them that way the game demands a lot from your computer. Don't plan to multi-task with this bad-boy running, unless your running
above and beyond the minimum requirements.

The sound is crisp and clear, the voice over's are good, but it's all so generic, kind of a cliché sound set-up, I guess you could call it. They could have done better.

When you bring the game online it has a hard time, it really likes to lag. Your going to need a really good computer with at least DSL Internet connection to actually have fun online with this game.

Now when this game truly shines is when you take in account all the mods, mutators, and total conversions. It must be easy to do because there's more than half-life!
Why are the mods so important? Because the game can get boring REAL fast. It's really repetitive. So the more mutators and mods you have, the better off you are.

The game is also a hit on most of the newer consoles, from Sega
Dreamcast up.

Overall I give the game an 82/100
"But why so low Tom?"
Gets boring fast
Generic Sounds
Demanding Game

"But why so high Tom?"
Tons of mods
Impressive graphics
Online capability's
CHEAP

Good for: 60 hours of exciting gameplay (until you get modifications for the game, then the fun can be endless)

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SG111 IS A SUKI LOSER GUY WHO CAN'T EVEN BACK UP A SIMPLE WEBSITE!!!
Posted 8/21/2002 by

Idiot! Lamer! Yeah, thats me. I don't know why in the hell I even considered not backing up the site! As you may or may not know, our generous host at Nexose.net had a hard drive bite the dust earlier this week. All data on the drive was lost, including all the stuff here at Sabatos. (I'll be kinking myself in the nads for months over my laziness on not backing up the data!!) The site has been rebuilt, with a few modifications. I moved all the necessary side bar content to one side. I also rearranged a few things. The new team page will have bios and the interests of the Sabatos Especial" members and will replace the team box on the side bar. The downloads and forums will not be up for the time being, but it is a priority for me to get back online.

I need all current "Sabatos Especial" to contact me ASAP to get their posting privies back and to fill out a bio form. And if anyone happens to have kept some of their old reviews backed up, we could use those as well. (*kicks self in nads*)

Well, on the positive side, WE ARE BACK, so um, welcome back and things!!

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